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re: Regretting motherhood: What have I done to my life?
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:16 am to Displaced
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:16 am to Displaced
quote:
Like i said. Yparents make sacrifices, but you don't have to stop enjoying your own life just because you have children. Kids enhance your life, not burden it... Unless you're poor.
We go and do plenty I agree with what you said. We still have fun and are not hermits and they come along. We dont do the huge trips due to budget constraints but we don't give it all up.
But for us I'd love to see some major places but with three we can't at this time and that's ok with me.
0
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:17 am to Pecker
I'm sure your mother regrets having you everyday..
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:17 am to statman34
quote:Oh I 100% get and respect that.
To each his or her own. I am not trying to judge anyone for any choice that they make, but I know for myself after having children (despite the difficulties they can cause) that I would rather have a house full of kids and live my life for them and then have them and grandkids in my life than sit in a quiet house filled only with material things. I am not looking down on anyone other than myself and how I feel about living my life that way.
My position is I think I'm too much of a trash person for kids to rely on me.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:18 am to Pecker
I remain Sympathetic that your boys can not swim and that your wife’s womb is a barren place where your lifeless seed can buy no purchase. But parenthood is the shiznit in every way. Especially when you get past those earliest years of sacrifice And inconvenience.
For instance I just met my Cali/ Filipino boy Ben in BC for two weeks. My kids ( teens) were the best part of the trip. Where we used to keep our kids moving- now they keep us moving. They are a reminder to stay fit and energetic. Bens son became a deca- millionaire by the time he was 28 in Silicon Valley so Ben has that quiet satisfaction of seeing his son achieve his dream and an incredibly generous son who spoils his parents. It’s quite a story . And being there on Fathers Day - there’s no way to describe the happiness of seeing your children blossom and thrive.
Of course if you suck or they suck, all that is moot.
For instance I just met my Cali/ Filipino boy Ben in BC for two weeks. My kids ( teens) were the best part of the trip. Where we used to keep our kids moving- now they keep us moving. They are a reminder to stay fit and energetic. Bens son became a deca- millionaire by the time he was 28 in Silicon Valley so Ben has that quiet satisfaction of seeing his son achieve his dream and an incredibly generous son who spoils his parents. It’s quite a story . And being there on Fathers Day - there’s no way to describe the happiness of seeing your children blossom and thrive.
Of course if you suck or they suck, all that is moot.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:19 am to Deactived
quote:
You're gonna get about 4 dick slaps the next time I see you
These outbursts like your dwi checkpoint tomfoolery aren't going unnoticed
Nom Nom!!!
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:20 am to Pecker
quote:
The deep, burning love I feel for them eclipses everything I have ever felt for anyone, and the love they give back makes me incredibly happy.
"All you need is love."
John Lennon. Smart man. Shot in the back, very sad.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:21 am to MontanaMax
quote:One can move on from their wilder days without having kids.
I often miss my wilder/carefree days but shite, at some point you have to nut up and be a productive person/parent
And it's possible to be a productive person without being a parent.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:22 am to Pecker
quote:
I'd argue that television has done more to facilitate envy than social media
There's no denying the rise of television got the ball rolling in a big way. The rise of television/Hollywood took the idolization of fame/celebrity to a whole different level.
But at the end of the day, most people could at least go to bed at night remembering that celebrities were celebrities. But social media has now allowed every joe-schmoe to make themselves look as if they are living like a celebrity.
There's a big difference between seeing pics of Beyonce vacationing in New Zealand and seeing your colleague Jessica vacationing in New Zealand.
The former makes you go "I wish I could be Beyonce...oh, to dream..."
The latter makes you go "Oh shite, Jessica's in New Zealand right now. I've never been to New Zealand. Even though we have the same job and live in the same town, her life must be so much cooler than mine."
I'm not claiming that social media use "causes" envy or depression. Rather, just like television, it is a conduit through which people are exposed to things which do cause envy and depression. But there is no denying that social media is an exponentially larger conduit than TV/Movies are.
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 10:25 am
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:25 am to Pecker
We will never be able to have kids of our own, and when we got that news it really devastated us both. However, we do plan to one day adopt.
What she doesn’t realize is being single and alone can eat at your after awhile as well. Social media only gives us the best picture of someone’s life, never the hardships and it’s harmin society. It’s great to party and live the single life but i feel naturally a lot of humans long for companionship. Ever been to one of those MILF bars like Cadillac Cafe? It’s great for one night stands but open your eyes and look around, there’s a lot of sad desperation in that room.
What she doesn’t realize is being single and alone can eat at your after awhile as well. Social media only gives us the best picture of someone’s life, never the hardships and it’s harmin society. It’s great to party and live the single life but i feel naturally a lot of humans long for companionship. Ever been to one of those MILF bars like Cadillac Cafe? It’s great for one night stands but open your eyes and look around, there’s a lot of sad desperation in that room.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:29 am to Cotten
quote:
Social media only gives us the best picture of someone’s life, never the hardships
I have plenty of friends that do nothing but bitch on social media. Some I wonder if they ever have a normal or good day.
There are attention whore at every stop on the spectrum.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:31 am to Pecker
I Don’t have kids
I Don’t want kids
I Don’t want kids
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:32 am to shel311
quote:
LINK
Increases in depression, anxiety and a sense of failure have mimicked the rise in social media and smartphone
It's one thing to mimic behavior in the real world but it's totally another to be influenced by behavior that is overrepresented in social media or characters who post there who don't exist In real life. Teenage depression is particularly a major issue.
Instagram appears to be the worst
Certainly doesn't mean it's bad. It just means impressionable people can be positively or negatively influenced and unrealistic behavior is overrepresented on social media and teens are spending over 9 hours a day using social media.
Women are far more prone to the negative affects than men.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:32 am to Cotten
quote:
Social media only gives us the best picture of someone’s life, never the hardships and it’s harmin society.
eh
plenty of attention whores post every single hardship they face to see how many "thoughts and prayers" they can get
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:32 am to Cotten
quote:
We will never be able to have kids of our own, and when we got that news it really devastated us both.
Sorry to hear that.
quote:
What she doesn’t realize is being single and alone can eat at your after awhile as well.
This is true as well. Maybe the single jet setting friend secretly wishes she was settled down with children, or maybe she doesn't. There are pros and cons to each lifestyle. I think its really about embracing whatever situation you are in, either with children or without.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:37 am to LSUvegasbombed
(no message)
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 10:37 am
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:37 am to Salmon
quote:
plenty of attention whores post every single hardship they face to see how many "thoughts and prayers" they can get
Yes.
Or they just ask for prayers and don't say what's going on so they get a bunch of comments asking if they are ok, what's going on, etc.
My Facebook news feed is definitely not all sunshine and rainbows. I see lots of people complaining on there. Not surprisingly, mostly from the mom group I joined.
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 10:40 am
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:45 am to Displaced
quote:
We are heading to Iceland in November to see the northern lights and Ireland in April. We are taking our son on both trips.
That's an awesome time to go. We went last October. To what part of Iceland you going?
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:57 am to Pecker
All we have right now is price alerts set for flights to Reykjavik.
Recs?
Recs?
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:58 am to Pecker
quote:Live it up. If you remain childless, when you are in your 50's-60's you will end up hanging yourself because you will have no friends and no family.
As someone who is young, childless, in shape (and handsome - if I'm being honest)
Have fun!
Posted on 6/27/18 at 11:00 am to Ronaldo Burgundiaz
quote:
when you are in your 50's-60's you will end up hanging yourself because you will have no friends and no family.
1/10
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