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re: Regretting motherhood: What have I done to my life?
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:01 am to Pecker
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:01 am to Pecker
quote:
I have a childless friend who writes bestselling chick-lit novels and runs a media empire. I follow her compulsively on Instagram; while my jealousy grows with every unfiltered photo, I can’t stop scrolling.
I stopped reading here as it's all I needed to hear.
0
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:01 am to Pecker
You’d be surprised at the millions of folks who feel this way. Just look at all of the cases of ppl killing their spouses, kids or whoever is the ball&chain that made the news and tv shows. Then there are those who legally and respectfully give up rights & relationships and walk away. But oh well on the regret and remorse cause America(more so women) should cut the envy and stop buying the hype from advertising to start a family. And men should stop letting women bait them into a marriage proposal. Mortgage, marriage, college and kids is slave life these days.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:02 am to Pecker
quote:
people are able to "fake it" more now than ever
oh yeah? Would you like to speak to how people would “fake it” during the Victorian era?
This is a shortsighted take for those with a weak grasp on history. There is nothing new under the sun.
I'm assuming when he said "fake it more now than ever" he was referring to the ubiquitous nature of social media. Not that people in the past didn't "fake it" as well.
In the Victorian era, people couldn't look down at their phone while they were at work and scroll through hundreds of carefully-manicured images of friends and acquaintances doing their "legs or hot dogs" shots on the beach in Aruba.
Doing that shite day-in and day-out surely takes a larger toll on the psyche.
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 10:06 am
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:02 am to DingLeeBerry
quote:
I’m in my 40’s, in shape, handsome, have kids and very little free time. I wouldn’t trade being a parent for anything in the world.
One of the most 'real' things on any media along this lines was the opening scene of American Beauty.
Instantly created solidarity among married fathers around the country like "I'm not alone!"
Granted the rest of the movie went wayyy off normal beaten path of parenting and marriage.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:02 am to lsupride87
quote:This was me for the 1st 38 years of my life.
"he eats whatever he wants and is skinny"
That is not me in year 39.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:03 am to lsupride87
quote:Role?
Your little roll you play is great on here
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:04 am to Pecker
Word
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:06 am to TheCaterpillar
quote:I know damn well I would still regret it.
But in the end, those with kids will not regret a thing. When her kids graduate college and hug her and say "thank you mom I love you", it'll all be worth it.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:06 am to mikelbr
You're gonna get about 4 dick slaps the next time I see you
These outbursts like your dwi checkpoint tomfoolery aren't going unnoticed
These outbursts like your dwi checkpoint tomfoolery aren't going unnoticed
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:09 am to Pecker
I often miss my wilder/carefree days but shite, at some point you have to nut up and be a productive person/parent. Obviously parenting isn't for everyone but that decision should be made well before having one. I don't regret a minute of it.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:10 am to UGATiger26
quote:
I'm assuming when he said "fake it more now than ever" he was referring to the ubiquitous nature of social media. Not that people in the past didn't "fake it" as well.
In the Victorian era, people couldn't look down at their phone while they were at work and scroll through hundreds of carefully-manicured images of friends and acquaintances.
Doing that shite day-in and day-out surely takes a larger toll on the psyche.
I don't argue that social media facilitates envy. As far as the ubiquity of social media, I'd argue that television has done more to facilitate envy than social media. At least given the number of people who participate in social media vs people who have access to television.
It's not a hot take to blame social media. It's actually quite superficial. And I say that as someone who has never posted on either twitter or IG.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:10 am to Pecker
quote:
I have a childless friend who writes bestselling chick-lit novels and runs a media empire. I follow her compulsively on Instagram; while my jealousy grows with every unfiltered photo, I can’t stop scrolling. She’s still as skinny as she was when we were at university, and hot damn she looks good in leather pants. I’m just happy if the sweats I bought at the grocery store are clean enough to get me through another day. While she’s sipping sparkling wine as she jets from London to New York, I’m downing tepid coffee as I drive my kids to ballet and swimming lessons.
and when this childless slut gets old and left behind by the hip crowd, she'll look back and regret her life's choices and wish for nothing more than to have a family of her own.
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 10:11 am
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:12 am to Pecker
They like being Facebook mommies but don’t actually want to do the work. You get out of it what you put into it. They’d rather nine key and send vapid emails in a cubicle whilst bitching about how hard they have it. However since our economy now depends on the consumption of women working (and I use thst term very loosely here), we have yet another generation of children growing up without values and actual work ethic.
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 10:13 am
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:12 am to Harry Caray
quote:
What path would you prefer I take? Having kids because of societal pressure and hating my life, or realizing I'm selfish, not having kids, and slightly hating my life less?
To each his or her own. I am not trying to judge anyone for any choice that they make, but I know for myself after having children (despite the difficulties they can cause) that I would rather have a house full of kids and live my life for them and then have them and grandkids in my life than sit in a quiet house filled only with material things. I am not looking down on anyone other than myself and how I feel about living my life that way.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:13 am to Pecker
quote:You are a perfect example though of how social media is used to further enhance envy
I don't argue that social media facilitates envy. As far as the ubiquity of social media, I'd argue that television has done more to facilitate envy than social media. At least given the number of people who participate in social media vs people who have access to television.
It's not a hot take to blame social media. It's actually quite superficial. And I say that as someone who has never posted on either twitter or IG.
You anomalously lie about your charmed life in order to feel better about yourself on a message board
ETA: I think you do it in character though
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 10:14 am
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:13 am to RogerTheShrubber
quote:is the depression a result of always being on social media or is the habit of always being on social media a result of being depressed?
In what way? There's evidence to the contrary
I'm obviously not saying no one person has ever had depression or feelings of being envious while looking at others on social media.
But is the real issue that the social media is causing the depression, or is that someone who is depressed will likely spend more time along sulking any way, but some choose to use SM as their way to sulk and be envious, whereas, if it wasn't SM, they'd shuffle on to the next thing to make them feel shitty about their lives?
As I continue to read through your 2nd article now, I see it says as much, posing the question:
quote:
“Using multiple platforms might lead to these changes in mood, but it could also be that people who are depressed or have a propensity for depression use more social media sites,” she said. “In this area of research, we have to think about what’s causing what.”
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:14 am to Pecker
quote:
I'd argue that television has done more to facilitate envy than social media. At least given the number of people who participate in social media vs people who have access to television.
but SM is people you know or have some connection to.. its personal to some degree
You dont really have any personal connection to who is on TV
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 10:15 am
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:15 am to LSUvegasbombed
quote:
The downfall is social media honestly. Everyone envying someone else's life is the norm.
Nailed it. My ex wife was very similar to her though.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:16 am to Displaced
quote:Most can't afford to do this without kids.
It doesn't have to stop just because you have kids.
We are heading to Iceland in November to see the northern lights and Ireland in April. We are taking our son on both trips.
Most live paycheck to paycheck before they even have kids. That makes a $100 night out something you have to save for, much less a trip to Europe.
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