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fr33manator
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Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
Battle of Teutoburg forest-invicta






Teutoburg Forest-9 AD

Teutoburg

Now I’ll tell the tale of Teutoburg, how fell the Roman legion,
Of the arrogance of Varus, and brave warriors of that region,
Of the rebels of Germania, who would not bend the knee,
Ending with the scene of Legionaries, hanging on a tree,

Give me your ear, and I’ll recall,
Of The time when Rome was bested by the Gaul

Under Caesarous ambition, Rome was destined to expand,
From North Africa to Britain, thus an empire claimed the land,
For the foe that was without, with Gladius was made within,
marches transformed into province, rebel’s sons became legion,

And so now, to set the stage, back when all roads led to Rome,
Sent as tribute, was Arminius, far from his Germanic home,
Raised from youth in Roman custom, to ensure the cowed’s compliance,
Earned the trust of tyrant Varus, but in secret formed alliance,

With the tribes in Gallic hinterlands, chafing under Roman boot,
Seditious seeds sown, and in Teutoberg, from trees would hang their fruit,
Necks of peoples trod upon, can only so long bide their hate,
Caesar crushed the serpent’s egg, Varus waited all too late,

While Legions quelled Balkan Rebellions, leaving Varus only three,
Arminius told of uprisings, set a trap in Germany,
Then by his ego, led the tyrant, like a lamb into the rout,
He disappeared, until they’d hear, their doom in a Teutonic shout

Green legions three, with Varus, he, drawn into primeval wood,
No scouts ahead, to warn the dead, like any clever general would,
On muddy ground the column wound, stretched through the trees just like a snake,
The screams of pain, mixed with the rain,
The sounds of Varus’s mistake,

Under the downpour of the lances, spears cut into ragged ranks,
And with the legions in disorder, they could not form a phalanx,
Thus surrounded, and astounded, by their foe, one step ahead,
Rebels knew the Roman tactics, so they piled up the dead,

With morning light, they fled the fight, outthunk, outnumbered, in retreat,
Mangled remainders of the legions, but their doom was not complete,
Marching into another trap, set there below, Kalkriese Hill,
But for escape, it was too late, the Germans moved in for the kill,

Abandoning his comrades, Vala, urged his cavalry away,
But rebel horsemen rode them down, so for their cowardice they’d pay,
With all hope lost, so ended Varus, as he fell upon his knife,
As sacrifice to pagan gods, many a survivor lost his life,

From branches in Teutoburg, bloody fruit hung from the trees,
Dripping as they slaked the soil, unlucky legionaries,
Back to Rome, so traveled Varus, body left behind and dead,
To Tiberius presented, tale told by his silent head,

Shamed so thoroughly the legions, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen,
Never more would be reformed, naught again in battle seen,
Although some vengeance was exacted,
‘Tween the Elbe and the Rhine,
Roman lands, would not advance, at Teutoburg, was their decline,

So now I’ve told, this tale of old, how rebel seeds, bear bloody fruit,
How the doom of Varus came, through German son sent as tribute,
I raise a glass unto Arminius, so remember now his name,
How just a spark,
Within the dark,
Can set alight,
A deadly flame,

As empires fall, so will they all, again, again,
But in the shades of Teutoburg, the dead remain.








Battle of Teutoburg Forest Wiki



TL;DR

In 9 AD, Varus commanded the XVII, XVIII and XIX legions of Rome into the Teutoburg forest, on the counsel of Arminius, a Germanic tribute who had been raised in Rome. In secret, he had plotted with rebel Germanic tribes and was leading Varus into an ambush. The legions were slaughtered and Rome’s further ambitions into Germany were quashed. Unlike other defeated legions, their numbers were retired in shame. One of the greatest losses in Roman military history and one of the great rebel victories








This post was edited on 7/22 at 10:51 am


Tbonepatron
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Member since Aug 2013
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re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD


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300
Epaminondas
LSU Fan
The Boot
Member since Jul 2020
1362 posts

re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
quote:

Battle of the Teutoburg Forest

A/K/A: The Varian Disaster


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CapstoneGrad06
Alabama Fan
Little Rock
Member since Nov 2008
66570 posts

re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
Just watched the Netflix series Barbarians. It was centered around the event. Pretty decent.


soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
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re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
An old case of fricking around and finding out.


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110
High C
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viewing the fall....
Member since Nov 2012
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re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
Arminius carried a photo of his great grandfather in his wallet always



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OWLFAN86
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The OT has made me richer
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re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
you could blame WW1 and WW2 on Teutoburg


Stealth Matrix
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re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
GIVE ME BACK MY LEGIONS!!



crash1211
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re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
I Claudius
Reminds me of this scene. I loved this series watched it many times.


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Toroballistic
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re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
Germanicus paid them back in full beginning in 14 AD


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MattA
Member since Nov 2019
728 posts

re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
quote:

Just watched the Netflix series Barbarians. It was centered around the event. Pretty decent.

It was. Plus the chick who cut her own eye up for Odin or whatever was pretty hot.


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dbeck
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Member since Nov 2014
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re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
When I was in college I took a drawing class and one of the guys couldn't draw for shite. He had drawn the campus landscaping and his trees were all fricked up.

Anyway when it came time to critique the drawings my professor takes one look at this kid's drawing and goes into this long story about Teutoburg and how the Romans were led into the forest where their horses and chariots would be useless. He went on for 10 minutes telling this story and finally told the kid "you're like those Roman soldiers and those trees are just kicking your ass".


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181
fr33manator
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
102929 posts

re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
quote:

Germanicus paid them back in full beginning in 14 AD


Sure, but Rome never really advanced past there as far as expansion goes. All in all I’d say Arminius accomplished his goal.


KORyder
LSU Fan
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Member since Aug 2011
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re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
pedicabo circa, et invenit


fr33manator
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
102929 posts

re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
quote:

pedicabo circa, et invenit





Bawus Maximus-9 AD


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41
KiwiHead
LSU Fan
Auckland, NZ
Member since Jul 2014
16402 posts

re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
Only Caesar could do it. Build a bridge across the Rhine and go on a hell raising tour of western Germany....just to prove he could.


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40
Who_Dat_Tiger
LSU Fan
Member since Nov 2015
9567 posts

re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
What have the Romans ever done for us?

One of my favorite Monty Python bits


fr33manator
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
102929 posts

re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
That whole movie is a masterpiece

Roman’s go home


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30
Flashback
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reading the chicken bones
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re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
This battle prepared Germans to bomb Pearl Harbor centuries later.


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Boo Krewe
Member since Apr 2015
9017 posts

re: Rebels rarely stop empires, but a bloody nose can be enough to check them. Teutoburg, 9 AD
Germanicus baby


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