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Started By
Message
re: Prayers needed….any words of encouragement or advice.
Posted on 7/3/22 at 2:54 pm to Hoova1202004
Posted on 7/3/22 at 2:54 pm to Hoova1202004
I'm so sorry.
Prayers up for you and your children.
Prayers up for you and your children.
0
Posted on 7/3/22 at 2:56 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:speaking of, bikini pic would help
You are NEVER a burden to those who love you.
Posted on 7/3/22 at 3:50 pm to tigergirl10
I had started crying when I was finished and the priest said to me welcome home, God has been waiting for you.
Posted on 7/3/22 at 3:56 pm to Hoova1202004
I’ve been reading this thread since the day it was posted and I have no words. I still don’t. I’m just happy to see that you’re moving forward, staying strong, and keeping a positive frame of mind. Keep it up bud and keep us updated!
Posted on 7/3/22 at 5:04 pm to Hoova1202004
I might be able to offer some insight from the perspective of someone who suddenly and unexpectedly lost my father at around the same time period in his life. Early 40's, good health, and died after suffering a heart attack one summer morning after cutting the grass while I was attending a friend's baseball game. It was due to an undiagnosed heart condition that he had lived with all his life. I was 12 years old.
While it was obviously very difficult in the aftermath, I can say that time does heal all wounds. My mother was always present in my sister and I's life. She never used his passing as an excuse or to rationalize bringing us up in a different way than they would have together. I very rarely would see her displaying emotions about his passing. I think that her emotional strength also strengthened us and together we were able to move forward. Looking back on it now, I am amazed at the job she was able to do given the circumstances. At the time, she was a stay at home mother of several years. She had to get back into the workforce while raising two children on her own. She did not date much or seek out companionship from other men until many years later. I was lucky to have a couple uncles who could be fatherly figures and teach me how to be a man.
Be present, and be strong. Don't let the doom and gloom of this awful situation and the troubles you see on the horizon overwhelm you and compromise the duty you have to your young children. Focus on putting one foot in front of the other and you will come out on the other side.
While it was obviously very difficult in the aftermath, I can say that time does heal all wounds. My mother was always present in my sister and I's life. She never used his passing as an excuse or to rationalize bringing us up in a different way than they would have together. I very rarely would see her displaying emotions about his passing. I think that her emotional strength also strengthened us and together we were able to move forward. Looking back on it now, I am amazed at the job she was able to do given the circumstances. At the time, she was a stay at home mother of several years. She had to get back into the workforce while raising two children on her own. She did not date much or seek out companionship from other men until many years later. I was lucky to have a couple uncles who could be fatherly figures and teach me how to be a man.
Be present, and be strong. Don't let the doom and gloom of this awful situation and the troubles you see on the horizon overwhelm you and compromise the duty you have to your young children. Focus on putting one foot in front of the other and you will come out on the other side.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 3:03 am to Hoova1202004
I hurt for your and your children's loss. You have experienced a "90 degree blind curve" in life, and are now beginning a journey on an unfamiliar path through a dark forest with an unknown destination. Although my blind curve occurred slightly later(30 years of a great marriage with our youngest aged 12), our paths are similar. I am just a little farther along the way(just made the 5 year anniversary). Thus, I have an understanding of certain things, including:
The "tidal waves" which can instantly force a very strong man to become a sobbing puddle,
The pain of assisting children through the grieving process,
The feeling that "home" is no longer home,
The extreme sadness and loneliness that occurs in the "quiet times", after everyone is asleep,
The feelings of despair, being lost, and being incomplete due to the massive void,
And the seemingly contradictory feeling of hopeful optimism regarding what the future may bring.
While I would certainly not purport to have all, or perhaps any, of the answers, there are a few important, timely concepts which I can offer:
Firmly hold on to your faith, including that you will see her again,
Be strong for your children, as you are needed now more than ever, and blanket each other in love, and
Although the "tidal waves" are currently unexpected tsunamis, over time both the height and the frequency of the waves will decrease.
Please know that you are not alone. Thus, should you desire, please feel free to reach out to me at othollow@gmail.com.
The "tidal waves" which can instantly force a very strong man to become a sobbing puddle,
The pain of assisting children through the grieving process,
The feeling that "home" is no longer home,
The extreme sadness and loneliness that occurs in the "quiet times", after everyone is asleep,
The feelings of despair, being lost, and being incomplete due to the massive void,
And the seemingly contradictory feeling of hopeful optimism regarding what the future may bring.
While I would certainly not purport to have all, or perhaps any, of the answers, there are a few important, timely concepts which I can offer:
Firmly hold on to your faith, including that you will see her again,
Be strong for your children, as you are needed now more than ever, and blanket each other in love, and
Although the "tidal waves" are currently unexpected tsunamis, over time both the height and the frequency of the waves will decrease.
Please know that you are not alone. Thus, should you desire, please feel free to reach out to me at othollow@gmail.com.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 3:04 am to Hoova1202004
Prayers sent. It will not be easy brother but you will get through this
Posted on 7/4/22 at 8:45 am to Hoova1202004
God bless you and your children. I’m very sorry for your loss. I will certainly pray for you and your children.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 8:47 am to Hoova1202004
God bless you and your family.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 8:53 am to Hoova1202004
Man that sucks, prayers for you and your children. Let other friends and family help you.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 9:17 am to othollow
Thank you, for sharing your story. I take comfort in the fact that I am not alone and that people have walked the path that I am currently on. I will reach out to you. Thanks
Posted on 7/4/22 at 9:34 am to Hoova1202004
I feel so sorry for you and the kids. I cannot imagine doing life without my wife, my daughter would be devastated. I have no advice but your story made me cry for you and your family. I don’t pray like I should, but I did for you.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 9:36 am to Hoova1202004
Man that is so hard. So extremely sorry for your loss. From reading your post multiple times, it sounds like y’all had a wonderful life and it’s heartbreaking and confusing that something like this would happen.
My wife lost her mom at a very young age, to leukemia. I think my wife was 10 at the time and she has a sister that is about 3 years younger. I’m not going to lie and say they just gathered all their courage and pushed through life and have been able to handle everything else life has thrown at them over the years. It’s going to be tough for all of you. There will be scars. She and I have had to deal with issues in our own marriage left by the trauma. You and your kids will never fully get “over” this for lack of a better word. But, I can tell you both of them have been able to live their lives. Their dad remarried (please do not misunderstand me saying that as “hey, get over it, push on, and marry again) and they had a wonderful woman help raise them. I always called her my true mother in law, and our daughters called her “Mimi” and never knew her as anything other than their grandmother.
My purpose here is not to tell you everything is going to be fine. It’s not. At least not right now. Right now it sucks. At some point, though, hopefully you can make your way through the weeds and find purpose. Someday you will hopefully wake up and not dread having to face another day without you wife. That you will laugh again.
I don’t know what kind of faith background you have, but I will leave you with my favorite scripture in the whole Bible:
“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”
??1 Peter? ?5:6-7? ?NASB1995??
I know it does not seem like God is anywhere close to you or your family at this moment, but I assure you he is. And he cares. And will help you through this terrible circumstance. Praying for you, sir.
My wife lost her mom at a very young age, to leukemia. I think my wife was 10 at the time and she has a sister that is about 3 years younger. I’m not going to lie and say they just gathered all their courage and pushed through life and have been able to handle everything else life has thrown at them over the years. It’s going to be tough for all of you. There will be scars. She and I have had to deal with issues in our own marriage left by the trauma. You and your kids will never fully get “over” this for lack of a better word. But, I can tell you both of them have been able to live their lives. Their dad remarried (please do not misunderstand me saying that as “hey, get over it, push on, and marry again) and they had a wonderful woman help raise them. I always called her my true mother in law, and our daughters called her “Mimi” and never knew her as anything other than their grandmother.
My purpose here is not to tell you everything is going to be fine. It’s not. At least not right now. Right now it sucks. At some point, though, hopefully you can make your way through the weeds and find purpose. Someday you will hopefully wake up and not dread having to face another day without you wife. That you will laugh again.
I don’t know what kind of faith background you have, but I will leave you with my favorite scripture in the whole Bible:
“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”
??1 Peter? ?5:6-7? ?NASB1995??
I know it does not seem like God is anywhere close to you or your family at this moment, but I assure you he is. And he cares. And will help you through this terrible circumstance. Praying for you, sir.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 9:38 am to Syd
I appreciate that.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 9:44 am to Iowatiger209
I feel God more now than I have ever felt in my entire life. I could write multiple paragraphs of things I have experienced the past three weeks. That the only reason these things happened was because of God.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 11:00 am to Hoova1202004
I'm so sorry for your loss. As I reflected on your loss and sadness I was reminded that at least your precious babies still have a father. A very loving and caring father. And love conquers all.
Children are resilent. Far more resilent than we give them credit. Without a doubt, love is critical to their emotional, spiritual, and even physical growth. Hug them often, and repeatedly tell them you love them. Then try to take time to do enjoyable activities with them. Activities that make them laugh. Activities they will remember. Losing a loved one is hard, trust me I know. But through prayer and practicing sacrificial love you will heal. The pain really will always be there, but it will ease over time. At least it did for me.
As for your beloved wife. Remember you will see her again in a happier place and time.
Be assured of my prayers for you and your children.
Love is repaid by love alone.
Children are resilent. Far more resilent than we give them credit. Without a doubt, love is critical to their emotional, spiritual, and even physical growth. Hug them often, and repeatedly tell them you love them. Then try to take time to do enjoyable activities with them. Activities that make them laugh. Activities they will remember. Losing a loved one is hard, trust me I know. But through prayer and practicing sacrificial love you will heal. The pain really will always be there, but it will ease over time. At least it did for me.
As for your beloved wife. Remember you will see her again in a happier place and time.
Be assured of my prayers for you and your children.
Love is repaid by love alone.
This post was edited on 7/4/22 at 11:05 am
Posted on 7/4/22 at 11:09 am to Hoova1202004
I am so sorry for your loss. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 11:13 am to Hoova1202004
Stay strong bud. I know we can all mess with each other on here but at the end of the day we’re all a big OT Tiger family.
Posted on 7/4/22 at 11:13 am to Hoova1202004
So sorry man. Thinking of you and your family! Stay strong and get yourself and those wonderful kids some therapy when the time is right. Let nothing go unresolved. Your kids will grow up thinking of their Dad as a superhero and they’ll turn out strong as granite because of this unthinkable situation.
Posted on 7/6/22 at 5:39 pm to Damseyrarrar
Today was the first time that I went into the room where I found her. I laid in our bed for the first time since.I just laid there and I can still smell her. I cried like I have never before, I guess it was a release that I needed. I have been avoiding the room. Today something told me to go in there. I sat in the spot that I found her. Told her I love her and to please watch after our children and myself.
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