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re: My parents are in their late 70’s and refuse to create a will

Posted on 4/28/26 at 12:44 pm to
Posted by ItzMe1972
Member since Dec 2013
12801 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 12:44 pm to
Posted by RoyalWe
Louisiana
Member since Mar 2018
5230 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 12:49 pm to
I never expressed concern to my parents. When I was getting my estate planning in order I just let them know and told them if they were interested that I have the people to do it. They bit.
Posted by mthorn2
Planet Louisiana
Member since Sep 2007
1604 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 12:55 pm to
quote:

eople go crazy in these situations


No truer statement has ever been made. I watched two older siblings argue over belongings from their childhood home, and it became heated over a six-month period...so much so that they ultimately stopped speaking to each other and their kids' families stopped engaging each other. The brother said, “Whatever just take whatever you want.”
The old lady (sister) took everything from the house and stored it in her basement. Fifteen years later, after the old lady (sister) passed away, my wife and I were faced with going through that basement. It was heartbreaking to see, knowing the bitterness and permanent damage it caused between the two sides of our family....and for what? None of it was ever used or sold; it just sat there.
The family was effectively torn in half right after my wifes 97-year-old grandmother passed away, all over possessions that were never needed in the first place. In the end, it was all sold at an estate sale. Senseless. But yeah people literally go crazy...
Posted by WM88
Rayvegas
Member since Aug 2004
2060 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 12:59 pm to
My mother (73) (no pics) has a will.
I'm her power of attorney (no other siblings)
She has her burial plot.
She has written her own obit.

I'm lucky.
Posted by Dixie2023
Member since Mar 2023
5558 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:01 pm to
Not really concerned about a will, more concerned with final wishes/plans. Because of denial and refusal l to do anything, we finally told her it isn’t right to not have it taken care of already. Still hasn’t. I will be handling mine soon as I don’t my kids to have to plan or front funds for it all. It’s just 2 of us and a small estate. It’s an emotional and bad time already without having to rush to get it all done because not planned already.
Posted by greenbean
USAF Retired - 31 years
Member since Feb 2019
6533 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:04 pm to
quote:

A good friend of mine just went thru this. When he and his siblings were younger, the dad had his current wife receiving 100% of everything.. The dad passed 2 years ago, then she took EVERYTHING, including the money for the house and dipped. Pretty fricked up after being in their lives for over 25 years.



All tale as old as time
Posted by deltaland
Member since Mar 2011
103488 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:06 pm to
They have a will. You’re just not in it and they don’t have the heart to tell you
Posted by prostyleoffensetime
Mississippi
Member since Aug 2009
12696 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:08 pm to
quote:

Tell them they are creating big problems for their kids post-death.



They're boomers. They don't care.

Seriously though, if they don't have much, and you don't have a group of shite stain siblings, you should sell everything and split the proceeds.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108631 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:08 pm to
quote:

Kentucky law has 30K next of kin exclusion (unless they changed that KRS)

He would be "intestate" but if you need help, ask Chicken to send my current email and will do what I can. Some thoughts, just not the conversation for here and my old email may no longer work.


Thanks, Cheese. We have a family-friend/lawyer looking into it (via my fiancé) and seeing if we can do anything proactively. I appreciate the offer and will reach out if I need it.
Posted by tigerskin
Member since Nov 2004
46934 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:11 pm to
With all of this said, if one of the kids has to wind up being the primary caretaker of the last elderly parent, the opinions of who should get what may change.
This post was edited on 4/28/26 at 1:13 pm
Posted by Turnblad85
Member since Sep 2022
5813 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:37 pm to
quote:

on every visit I’m grabbing what I want. This trip is a matched set of Ruger red label o/u.



ohhh, so you're THAT sibling.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
93541 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:37 pm to
quote:

if one of the kids has to wind up being the primary caretaker of the last elderly parent, the opinions of who should get what may change.


in my experience, that is unlikely, greed rears its ugly head when there is a scent of money in the air
Posted by HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Member since Jul 2011
33673 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:40 pm to
quote:

Your bigger problem is likely to be when the "financial" spouse dies first. The non financial one probably doesn't even know who the car insurance carrier is, which bills are on auto pay, etc


Nailed it. I love my mom, but she might be the most financially irresponsible person on this planet. She has no idea how to pay bills. It is amazing how she’s gotten through life.


This post was edited on 4/28/26 at 1:42 pm
Posted by Shorts Guy
BR
Member since Dec 2023
862 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:44 pm to
If they don’t have loads of money and a bunch of assets it probably won’t be that big of a deal. More of a pain than necessary, but shouldn’t be too wild of a ride. Be ready to support though. I had a great aunt who didn’t even know how to write a check and was out of her depth when her husband died.
This post was edited on 4/28/26 at 1:46 pm
Posted by TopWaterTiger
Lake Charles, LA
Member since May 2006
12449 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:48 pm to
quote:

Is it necessary to have one in Louisiana - seems asset distribution is pretty straightforward : surviving spouse 50% and other 50% divided equally among children. Could certainly be wrong.

When mother died the 3 of us made no claim on assets - was for our father. Mom made certain requests for the girls [her personal jewelry pieces].

Dad made a will and his assets were directed to the 3 of us at his discretion and were carried out


Yes, under LA laws, if no will the children get the deceased parents share. So dad owned a house with the 3 of you. You still had to sign something over to your dad for it to play out the way you said.

Most families start fighting over money. In your specific situation, you usually have 1 kid that wants the money. I see it everyday. A Last Will and Testament is important.
Posted by Cheese Grits
Wherever I lay my hat is my home
Member since Apr 2012
62677 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 1:56 pm to
quote:

We have a family-friend/lawyer


They in Kentucky?

This their thing?

Person I am thinking of, this is their thing and they are close to you. Older, lots of experience with this. Always happy to help, far too much life and viewed what went wrong with this. Was at a funeral in Da Ville about a generation ago when they got in a fight and knocked the poor deceased on the floor. Hard to ever forget that nightmare.

The younger and younger get quite hostile when it comes to what folks left behind. Sad, but more and more reality.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108631 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 2:02 pm to
quote:

They in Kentucky? This their thing?


Yep. Handling future FIL/MIL estate (and older with experience as well).

Posted by CPA Yung Boi
Member since Apr 2026
97 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 2:27 pm to
quote:

It is, but it's very valuable to The State.

Setting up a proper will, and/or a trust, is vital to limiting tax burdens for the surviving family.


lol, every herd of step up basis? Unless you got about $50 million of assets not in any kind of taxed planned accounts/trusts
Posted by AlxTgr
Kyre Banorg
Member since Oct 2003
87778 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 2:33 pm to
quote:

but there are several of us siblings who will be standing with our dicks in our hands if we don’t have something to go by.
I can't see how a will makes things any better. At least in La., if we are talking two parents and children of that marriage, there aren't many situations where a will is better. I only have one because of special circumstances. Had my first wife lived, I would not have made one.
Posted by rickyh
Positiger Nation
Member since Dec 2003
13164 posts
Posted on 4/28/26 at 2:40 pm to
We made a living will over 20 years ago. Instructions on not to necessitate. I gave my wife as much power as law allowed. Great kids but protecting her for the long term.
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