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re: My MIL opened up a credit card in my wife’s name
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:50 am to Chad504boy
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:50 am to Chad504boy
quote:
if the family shared in the debt to get rid of it under the mandate that she gets help now... i don't see why your panties are in a wad over it.
She has a full time job and is selling a house and you think all the family should just pay her debt for her?
She probably got life insurance from the dad, 401K, IRA, savings, etc........
Enabling an addict is literally the worst thing you can do for them. Absolutely the worst. She needs help and she needs consequences, not a loving embrace and a pat on the head.
I guarantee you a gambling addicted single nurse is driving a 40/50K car. At absolute minimum she can Sell the car, pay the debt, and drive a used old car.
This post was edited on 5/21/21 at 10:54 am
1
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:51 am to Chad504boy
quote:
people pay huge money all the time to help out family members the best way they know how.
There’s a huge difference in helping out a family member pay rent because they are having money issues and helping them pay off a credit card that they got by stealing another family members identity so the could feed a gambling habit.
You’ve got to have some sort of brain damage if you don’t realize that and keep trying to justify helping the addict.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:53 am to carhartt
quote:
You’ve got to have some sort of brain damage if you don’t realize that and keep trying to justify helping the addict.
I don't think anyone here is saying that
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:55 am to Newrow
quote:
but people make mistakes
Correct but this isn't one of them.....she deliberately stole your wife's ID
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:55 am to Nguyener
quote:
I’m assuming you’ve never had an addict in your life?
Yes, i'm quite familiar with different situations. You must have missed the whole demand she gets help part of the situation.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:56 am to Slagathor
quote:
She's sick, not inherently evil.
Wrong.
Her gambling addiction makes her sick.
Her stealing from her own child and potentially ruining her life/credit to feed that addiction makes her F*CKING EVIL.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:57 am to Slagathor
Chad is. He’s placing the burden on the other sisters and off the mom, only stipulation is she goes to rehab.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:57 am to Nguyener
quote:
She needs help and she needs consequences,
losing her job doesn't help her life if she has a willingness to get the help she needs.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:57 am to Slagathor
quote:No, she put her CHILD and her family in financial jeopardy because she likes smiley face boxes on her doorstep and going to the casina. That is about as evil as one can get. I dont care that she lacks a moral compass, no different than a MIL drinking and driving with kids in the car...this is simply something that you cant take a chance on.
Unless she gets help. She's still a human being and a family member to the OP. She's sick, not inherently evil.
This post was edited on 5/21/21 at 11:00 am
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:58 am to Oilfieldbiology
quote:
He’s placing the burden on the other sisters and off the mom
temporary burden. the burden is already on 1 sister, why not divide it equally.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:58 am to Chad504boy
So she’s pays it back/you transfer the debt to her name AND she gets help or the cops are called. No need to ask anyone else to pay anything.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:58 am to Chad504boy
Because it ALL needs to be on the mom.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:59 am to Chad504boy
quote:
temporary burden. the burden is already on 1 sister, why not divide it equally.
The burden should shift 100% to the mother. Not split among the kids with the mother getting nothing.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 10:59 am to Newrow
Happened to me. Wasn't that much and was years ago. I bit the bullet and paid it off. No further problems. For me it was worth it. (Ours was less than 5k, big difference)
This post was edited on 5/21/21 at 11:01 am
Posted on 5/21/21 at 11:00 am to Newrow
quote:Does she have a life insurance policy? Because accidents happen every day. Just saying.
MIL
Posted on 5/21/21 at 11:00 am to Nguyener
quote:
The burden should shift 100% to the mother. Not split among the kids with the mother getting nothing.
should... of course. you feel better?
Posted on 5/21/21 at 11:00 am to Oilfieldbiology
quote:
Chad is. He’s placing the burden on the other sisters and off the mom, only stipulation is she goes to rehab.
While I don't necessarily think they would all go along with his plan, I do agree the only way they will reach the MIL and have any meaningful progress is to all band together.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 11:01 am to Chad504boy
quote:
should... of course. you feel better?
No. I could use a steak and blowjob. You want to meet me for lunch?
Posted on 5/21/21 at 11:02 am to Slagathor
quote:
While I don't necessarily think they would all go along with his plan, I do agree the only way they will reach the MIL and have any meaningful progress is to all band together.
Totally agree, but the banding together shouldn’t be to bail the mom out financially. It should be go to rehabs and pay it back in full or else cops are called.
Posted on 5/21/21 at 11:03 am to Chad504boy
quote:
You must have missed the whole demand she gets help part of the situation.
Read my rather long post above about my friend with a gambling addicted MIL.
My friend did everything she could for the woman. Got her through bankruptcy and IRS debt. She also enrolled her (and drove her) to a gambling addiction program.
The woman said all the right things. She swore she would never gamble again and realized how it ruined her life.
In fact, she NEVER stopped. She was still going out to the Treasure Chest 3-4 times a week. She never told anyone about the the six figure IRA she inherited from her father. Instead she blew through it like sh!t through a goose at the Treasure Chest and my friend only found out when she was helping the woman apply for the nursing home and Medicaid.
ETA: My friend found out that during this time period, this woman was such a "good customer" of the Treasure Chest that they would send a car out to pick her up and bring her back home. As I mentioned, at one point, when the woman was on her way into the nursing home, my friend went out to the Treasure Chest and spoke with some of the dealers. On her way out, she noticed some sort of "Jackpot Winner's Board," and saw a picture of the woman holding one those big checks. She had won a $25k jackpot at one point (when she was suppose to be in a gambling addiction program). Of course, she gambled it all back.
This post was edited on 5/21/21 at 11:26 am
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