re: My life has finally begun!!!

Probably already been sadi, but take care of your wife. Post partum depression is very real. Keep an eye on her.

quote:

---

You will have many years of happiness and be prepared in 16 years to hear these 4 word, "I want a car".

---

Going through that right now....

Congrats. We just had #2, but number 1 came post-40 for me as well.


Have a ton of patience with your wife, she will have someone that needs her way more than you 24/7 and thats a big burden. Its mentally draining, hard, tiring, etc. Try to predict as best you can, but just be there for her. Focus on making sure she has little else to worry about for awhile.


And its generally female lead, but my wife's friends organized a meal train online. That was clutch for our second. I didnt cook a lunch or dinner for like 3 weeks.

First 6 months, you're kind of useless. As others have said, help out your wife as much as you can. Also, she is a hormonal mess so be prepared.

What we did did when my daughter was born was establish shifts. I took night shift, especially once the baby moved out of our room and into her crib.

Do the night feedings and try to bond as much as you can. She's your baby girl the rest of your life now.

Lastly, the days will be long, and the years will be short. So get the most out of it while you can.

quote:

---

Having said that…. Any OT advice on the first few weeks of fatherhood is greatly appreciated

---

Traveling with a child is much easier when they are still small enough to carry around like luggage.

quote:

---

Having said that…. Any OT advice on the first few weeks of fatherhood is greatly appreciated

---

Open a 529 college savings plan right now. Don't do it through a broker, they will put you in a plan that pays commissions, which will steal your money. Do it directly with your state plan.

If you are in Arizona, perhaps select Fidelity and Index Funds, and select an S&P Index fund, and let it ride. "Adviser" and "Broker" funds will bleed your money.

Congrats! And welcome to the club!

I haven't read through this thread, so a lot of this will likely be already covered, but here's a few tidbits of advice (from a father of a couple young ones myself).

- for the sake of your marriage, especially while your child is an infant, share the load with your wife. Middle of the night feedings, bottle cleaning, dishes, runs to the grocery store for diapers, formula, wipes, etc. It's exhausting, I get it. But this is very important for your marriage.

- to add on to that, your paternity leave. Be home, helping your wife, spending time with your precious little one. Take all of it. Soak this in, it only happens once with this child. If that means taking 8 straight weeks, great. If that means taking 2-3 days a week for the next 6 months, great. But take it all, work will still be there when you return.

- get on Walmart.com or Amazon and buy yourself 100 cheap plain white bath rags. For spit up, spills, messes, etc. Have a stand alone hamper for these. Bleach the load once a week. Will save you money and time.

- invest in a quality, smart controlled red light bulb. HUE, GOVEE, etc. See the science, it's enough light for you to see during late night feedings, diaper changes, but won't interupt her bodies natural creation of melatonin.

- sleep training for naps. there's a million methodologies out there. pick one, try it, see what works, adapt. But do not, do not just expect her to start sleeping through the night and taking naps on their own. Some kids do it naturally, most don't. You'll save yourself a lot of sleep and stress if you get this done.

- "ohh, the baby is just colic-y". Don't let the boomer grandparents convince you it passes. Your child likely has a dairy allergy, a lot of kids do these days. Both of mine did. First one, we just thought "ohhh, babies cry a lot". Lot of heartache, sleepless nights, until we figured it out and my wife changed her diet. Second one, much much smoother process. Talk to your pediatrician, track symptoms, etc. Don't just accpet it as "colic-y"

- when it comes to a high chair in the next 9 months, go to IKEA or IKEA.com and get the very simple ALL plastic one with no padding. This will save you hours of cleaning spills when she's learning to eat.

- daycare. start shopping now if you and wifey plan on working. Sometimes daycares have wait lists that are months long (the good ones do). Take a tour during the day when kids are there. Meet the director, and ensure there is an actual developmental plan. Are the other kids clean? Are they doing nothing but playing or are the teachers spending quality time with them. It's expensive AF, get over it.

- swim lessons. sign her up by the time she's 1. This is the #1 cause of incidental cause of death for infants and young children. Don't be a statistic, kids should know how to swim on their own by the time they are 4 or 5.

- do not put your daughter on social media. Enitrely too many weirdos on the internet these days. Either send family/friends photo updates directly. Or sign up for something private. We use Family Album, it's private, our family members have their own logins, and we keep it updated with what the kiddos are up to.

- just on principle I never agree with TBoy on anything, but he's right about hte 529B plan. Open it today. Send out the gift link to all extended family and suggest they start gifting to your daughters college fund instead of buying frivolous toys your daughter will be bored with after a week and/or more toys you have to pick up every afternoon.


I'll come back and add some more if I think of them.

Tom Glavine

you sure it belongs to you

quote:

---

Any OT advice on the first few weeks of fatherhood is greatly appreciated

---

Do as much as you can to let your wife take naps because she will probably be up every few hours feeding.