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Started By
Message
My friend killed himself
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:18 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:18 pm
Apparently it was months ago...
I haven't talked to him in years. He was a freshman when I was a senior in high school- kind of a goofy kid who didn't fit in and I related to him in that way. We got close over the last few months (for me) of high school and we kept in touch over the years; even attended UA together for a very brief time
Tonight I googled his name on an intrusive thought and found his obituary. He was 27.
Honestly, I always imagined, between the two of us, that I'd be the one to do it. Things have changed a lot since we were in school together, clearly, but good god man it hurts. I don't even know what I'm trying to say, if I'm trying to say anything...
Above anything else, I want him to know that he was loved, that I thought about him a lot, even when we hadn't talked, and that I will always remember him. I know he can't hear it, so I'm telling you all.
Idk if there's any sort of relief upon pressing submit, I truly doubt it.
(Fwiw, I have a good life now. Neither of us did back then, but I have no intention of suicide or anything of the sort... I just needed to get a few words out)
I haven't talked to him in years. He was a freshman when I was a senior in high school- kind of a goofy kid who didn't fit in and I related to him in that way. We got close over the last few months (for me) of high school and we kept in touch over the years; even attended UA together for a very brief time
Tonight I googled his name on an intrusive thought and found his obituary. He was 27.
Honestly, I always imagined, between the two of us, that I'd be the one to do it. Things have changed a lot since we were in school together, clearly, but good god man it hurts. I don't even know what I'm trying to say, if I'm trying to say anything...
Above anything else, I want him to know that he was loved, that I thought about him a lot, even when we hadn't talked, and that I will always remember him. I know he can't hear it, so I'm telling you all.
Idk if there's any sort of relief upon pressing submit, I truly doubt it.
(Fwiw, I have a good life now. Neither of us did back then, but I have no intention of suicide or anything of the sort... I just needed to get a few words out)
32
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:20 pm to Bama Bird
Sorry to hear it. And hope your sharing helped.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:20 pm to Bama Bird
I'm sorry, we all have our demons and bad days. Life is very humbling
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:22 pm to Bama Bird
Very sorry to hear.
These moments always strike me, and I remember that there is something out there guiding us if we let it.
quote:
Tonight I googled his name on an intrusive thought
These moments always strike me, and I remember that there is something out there guiding us if we let it.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:24 pm to TigerBait2008
I mean.. he went to Iraq and I went North. That was 7 or so years ago. shite happens. It never meant I didn't care, but maybe he woudn't have killed himself if I had done better
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:24 pm to Bama Bird
quote:
Honestly, I always imagined, between the two of us, that I'd be the one to do it.
Why the frick is everyone on the OT so damned obsessed with suicide? People need to get professional help.
Anyway, a friend of mine killed himself at age 21 and it took me a long time to accept it as it was an extremely different kind of death to mourn. I’m sorry for your loss.
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 10:26 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:26 pm to Bama Bird
Go to counseling. It does a world of good. Praying for you and your friend's family.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:26 pm to Bama Bird
Sorry for your loss & I’m glad you are in a better place & have found happiness
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:26 pm to Bama Bird
I am sorry for your loss. Prayers for the family of your friend and for you.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:30 pm to Bama Bird
Srry
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:31 pm to Bama Bird
Sorry man
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:32 pm to TigerBait2008
quote:They were friends in the past, but shite happens and they lost touch. It's not complicated.
Friend of mine.
Haven't talked in years.
Huh..
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:33 pm to Bama Bird
quote:
mean.. he went to Iraq and I went North. That was 7 or so years ago. shite happens. It never meant I didn't care, but maybe he woudn't have killed himself if I had done better
That’s a what-if quagmire that ultimately seems completely irrelevant.
Meaning you couldn’t have stopped it in most situations.
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 10:35 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:43 pm to Bama Bird
I feel you. I had a buddy that we all picked on. A big Polack from Arizona when I was in the Marines. Nicest guy in the world. We picked on him a lot but would have killed anyone else that messed with him. Once when I was in Yuma we had leave and we went to his parents. I think they were so relieved he had a friend.
Fast forward twenty something years and I was looking up old brothers and ran across an article he killed himself. I pray to God that I’m forgiven for our hazing. He was very private Pyle-like except leaner and more animated. I know his parents are probably dead but would have loved to let them know we loved Z like a brother.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to feel hopeless. God Bless you and your friend and anyone suffering with depression.
Fast forward twenty something years and I was looking up old brothers and ran across an article he killed himself. I pray to God that I’m forgiven for our hazing. He was very private Pyle-like except leaner and more animated. I know his parents are probably dead but would have loved to let them know we loved Z like a brother.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to feel hopeless. God Bless you and your friend and anyone suffering with depression.
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 10:45 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:46 pm to Bama Bird
Sorry to hear about your loss, amigo
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 11:05 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:52 pm to Bama Bird
That’s tough man. Sorry to hear you lost your friend. Suicide is awful. Permanent solution for a temporary problem. I know it doesn’t seem temporary when it’s you, but it does pass. It’s too bad he never reached out to you before he ended it.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:54 pm to Epaminondas
quote:
It's not complicated
To be expected. Dude’s a piece of shite and couldn’t resist making some jackass comment.
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 10:57 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 10:57 pm to Bama Bird
Sorry to hear about this. When one of my friends passed away I found out at the funeral that his brother committed suicide awhile some time back. I was shocked at the news. Sometimes you never see it coming.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 11:11 pm to Bama Bird
Sorry, hope his family finds peace.
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