re: My friend killed himself

quote:

---

I mean.. he went to Iraq and I went North. That was 7 or so years ago. shite happens. It never meant I didn't care, but maybe he woudn't have killed himself if I had done better

---

None of this is your fault

quote:

---

Friend of mine. Haven't talked in years. Huh..

---

Damn you could have like said nothing but choose this moment to make a point?
Huh…

I’m sorry to hear. I hope sharing helped

So sorry my friend. As really know the feeling over depression. I got counseling and the right kind of medication as it took a very long time.

But also know the feeling as lost a cousin to suicide in 2009. She had so many personal demons and problems. And really wished that I could had found her some help. And will go to my grave over that.:(

quote:

---

Go to counseling.

---

OP hasn’t seen this friend in years. He died months ago and OP just found out by googling it. Really doesn’t seem like counseling should be needed but I guess some people are different.

quote:

---

I haven't talked to him in years

---

Not a real friend

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this man.

I was just in the same situation. I had a friend who was a pledge brother of mine in our fraternity commit suicide back in January. I didn't find out until a few weeks later when I got a group text from some other fraternity brothers. It had been probably 10 years since I had talked to him last but it still shook me a bit. He was an incredible friend/brother but we just lost contact when he went to the marines and I went to the Air Force. The last time I had talked to him was when he told me he couldn't make it to my wedding, but he was stationed in Japan at the time so I told him I didn't hold it against him.

They actually held a service for him a couple of weeks ago and that was the hardest part. I was glad I went because I saw his brother there and could tell it really meant a lot to him (they rented a house together in college so naturally we were there a lot having parties or just hanging out). He was literally the only person I knew there since I had never met anyone else from my friend's family but seeing him and the look on his face when he saw me made me feel that I was supposed to be there.

I just wish I knew at the time what he was going through and could have been there to help him through it. He was the type of guy that would drop what he was doing to help you out. I guess while I'm typing this out, I'll go ahead and say what I was too chicken shite to say in front of a room full of people that I didn't know:

When we look back and think about people from the "old days", there are a lot of different ways we can remember them. My friend and I weren't close for very long, maybe 3-4 years, but during that time we saw a lot of each other. Sometimes it was at our best, and other times at our worst. But the way I'll always remember my friend was when he was there for me for no other reason than the fact that he was a good person.

One night about a year after we joined the fraternity, I get a drunk call from an ex-girlfriend of mine. At the time, she was THAT girl, the on again/off again ex that just about every one was sick of hearing about. She tells me that she's drunk, she can't drive, she doesn't want to stay at whatever party she is at, she can't leave her car there, she needs me to come save her...blah blah blah. And of course I fell for it because I was a dummy. This was 11 or 12 at night. So I sent a text to my friend and said "hey man, I need a favor but feel free to say no because it will be a pain in the arse." I told him the situation and he didn't hesitate to respond "I'll be there in 15 minutes."

So he drives to my house, we get in my truck, drive to this party. I put the ex in my truck, and he drives her car back to my house. We get her in the house and situated because she was pretty wasted and we go back outside. At this point it is about 1230-1 in the morning and I thank him over and over again. He just say "hey man, I've got you" and gets in his car and heads back home.


He knew in the long run, this girl didn't matter and that I was dumb for falling for her sob story yet again, but he didn't care. He just knew I needed help and wanted to be there for me because I was his brother.

This is the memory that sticks out for me when I think about him. That is the kind of person that he was and that is how I will always remember him.

I’m sorry for your loss. Reconciling death is often difficult enough as it is, but suicide is on an entirely different level.

The father of a very good friend of mine in elementary, middle, and high school took his life about 5 years ago. It shook all of us deeply. It’s not a feeling that dissipates quickly.

My uncle who was 10 years older than me and more like a big brother than an uncle committed suicide 13 years ago. It still hurts me to this day. He seemed so happy I never imagined getting that phone call. On that day I vowed to be nice to everyone I come across even if it's just a simple smile and a good morning or have a good day. You never know what someone is going through but a simple nice gesture just may be enough to brighten there day and pull them out of a dark spot.


Prayers are going up for you and your friends family in this trying time.