re: Monthly vasectomy thread

I was 40 when I got snipped. Best decision I ever made

Got the procedure on a Thursday returned to work on Tuesday albeit in a limited fashion.

I used Oxy for pain relief for the first 24hrs then on my Dr's pre-surgical reccommendation, I bought a good whiskey and kept "the buzz going all weekend"

Ice pack on balls
Confortable recliner
New video game
Lots of sports on TV
Let your old lady spoil the hell out of you

You have to shot your shot 30 times before being certified in the clear. That first shot will be dicey and uncertain as frick

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Got the procedure on a Thursday returned to work on Tuesday albeit in a limited fashion.

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Do you have a physical labor job? I went back the next day

I thought the pain was way overblown. I drove home from doc’s office.

Wear a jockstrap.
Ice

And most importantly, go have your sample checked! Buddy of mine did not and welcomed a new kid about a year after the vasectomy.

Had mine in December. He started before the local set in and I felt the first slice . Even that wasn't bad. Just shot me up again. Felt some pressure but no pain at all. Seeing smoke coming out of your sack while they cauterize the vas is a sight to behold.

Zero complications or pain in recovery had it on the first December weekend where they have NFL games Saturday and Sunday. Drank and chilled on the recliner while making bets on the phone. That was the Saturday the Colts blew the 33-0 lead. Was fantastic.

Still waiting my time to provide my sample and see if I have some swimmers then it's game on

I did it years ago and have enjoyed nearly a decade of worry-free fun.

I believe you should have waited to March Madness, but whatever.

-Get the Dr to prescribe you a valium for the morning of the procedure. Definitely makes the trip to the Dr and the anxiety better.

-Shave your own junk. Do so before you take the valium.

-Count on having an attractive nurse and count on your boy being scared. He ain't fluffing up because he knows what's coming. The valium helps you not care. She's going to tape your sad penis to your body and make fun of you in the break room later. Deal.

-Follow the recommendations to the letter. Do not move from the sofa or the recliner and ice your junk. Wear the jock strap and briefs as directed.

-Make a deal with the Mrs regarding the # of shots before the recheck. I had 20 loads before the recheck and she went one for one with me. You might be able to negotiate a better deal, but probably not with my wife.

-If you feel better and want to get off the sofa, don't. Let the Mrs wait on you like you are a 1940s breadwinner.

-Definitely get rechecked and "All Clear." I still had swimmers after 20 pops. A guy I work with got blessed w/ #4 after his procedure because he never went back.

-I had mine done on Thursday and dropped 600 paratroopers on Monday. Just walked a little funny.

-Good luck.

ETA- I felt the cauterization. I winced and it felt like someone was putting out a cigarette in my kidney. The Doc said, "You can feel that?" I said yes. He said, "Well, one more side to do." But I've always felt every dental procedure regardless of Novicane and I've felt another cauterization when I have a melanoma removed. Probably just me.

Dementia

Small, old study but was enough to stop me

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Count on having an attractive nurse and count on your boy being scared. He ain't fluffing up because he knows what's coming. The vallum helps you not care. She's going to tape your sad penis to your body and make fun of you in the break room later. Deal.

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Spot on. This is one of my biggest fears! No way I’m gonna be in any condition to show off that morning. Poor little guy is gonna be so sad.

Had mine done in July. The pain was never "bad" but was pretty uncomfortable the first 3 or so days. The ice packs were a god send. I had it done on a Wednesday and took the rest of the week off. Probably wasn't necessary, but why not

Haven't pulled out since, so that's fun

ETA: Post op nurse was a hottie, I'm convinced they do that shite on purpose.

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You’re way too early my man. Every baw knows you do this the week of march madness.

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I lucked up and booked the March Madness special. Getting the snip the Thursday morning that the NCAA tournament starts. Will sit peacefully while enjoying valium and college basketball with a bag of frozen peas on my junk.

The Masters was too far off, but that was my fallback option if I couldn't do March.

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If you get a vasectomy, you can't go to Heaven.

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This isn't true according to my priest.

During RCIA in 2010(year after my vasectomy) he said if you have a bunch of kids and having more kids would inhibit your ability to care for those kids, then a vasectomy is okay by the Catholic Church.

I'm going to Hell for 400 other reasons though.