Medium: How straight ‘bromances’ harm the LGBTQ+ community

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Bromances are characteristically the opposite of what one would expect of a male friendship. They appear to involve increased physical contact and displays of emotion, with an emphasis being on platonic love (hence the term ‘bromance’). Even more paradoxically, these forms of friendship are often if not exclusively intentional and intended for public display. Despite the shame associated with these facets of friendship and their perceived incompatibility with masculinity, the most intimate aspects of bromances tend to be deliberate and on full view.

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While breaking barriers of what society views as masculine is a positive thing, there is a problematic if not toxic aspect to bromance culture, and it affects the LGBTQ+ community, particularly gay men.

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In the majority of cases, it can be assumed that the intention behind this performative queerness is not to harm the queer community. However, it is important for straight men to reflect on why ‘acting gay’ is so funny to them and why it tends to attract admiration from women. This is what makes finding a solution to this issue even more difficult. While the queer community and feminists are comfortable with discussing gender roles in society, straight men are often the most reluctant to contribute to this discourse. Dialogue surrounding gender expression puts straight men in a precarious position, because while their perception of masculinity is so limited and restricted, adhering to this narrow form of acceptable masculinity puts them in a position of societal power. It is a double-edged sword of masculinity being beneficial in terms of social hierarchy while not allowing room for introspection or questioning.

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