Man vs Alligator (You get one tool)

I stop mixing Xanax and weed.

I’m assuming an above ground pool if we are at your place.

Do your parents know you’re still awake at this hour?

Why is Paul Newman fighting a gator?

A trident and a half for me please.

Harpoon for the win.

How you gonna lasso a gator while you both are in 5 feet of water?

I walk into a bar one evening and sitting next to ScaryClown is this old timer with a box. The old timer reaches in the box and pulls out about a 12 inch baby gator. He looks at ScaryClown and says, watch this son. He pulls out his dick and lets the baby gator clamp down on it. Then he grabs an empty beer bottle and starts beating the gator over the head until it lets go. Once it does, he puts the gator back in the box and says to ScaryClown, what do you say son? Want to give it a shot? ScaryClown replies nervously, sure, but only if you promise not to hit me in the head with that bottle so hard.

I don’t need a tool. My fingers only. I’ve heard about a guy getting out of a shark’s grip by using fingers to the eye. I’m pretty sure I could do that with an 8 foot gator if I could stay calm amd steady enough.