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re: Majority of single women are having trouble finding a partner who fits their standard
Posted on 3/25/25 at 2:49 pm to pelicanpride
Posted on 3/25/25 at 2:49 pm to pelicanpride
quote:
quote:a girl is gonna have to show interest first
You are going to miss out on 95% of women who would date you with this approach.
Not really. Most women are not attracted to most men. Female interest is a logical sign of reasonable success in getting a date. Without it, you’re basically cold calling in a massive phonebook full of people easily annoyed. Largely a waste of time.
2
Posted on 3/25/25 at 2:52 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
quote:
This website, which is full some of the most unselfaware dudes I’ve ever encountered,
QFT
This post was edited on 3/25/25 at 3:48 pm
Posted on 3/25/25 at 2:55 pm to kingbob
quote:
kingbob
One thing it sounds like you're coming to discover and that I've observed with peers as I've aged as well.. is that dating changes pretty drastically around this age because women are more willing than ever to date men that are "old".
In your 20s, you're not competing quite as much on the financial aspect because young 20s women aren't dating much higher than like 30 in the first place.
But at the age you are, I imagine a lot of the women you're going on dates with are in a similar age range and starting to get perfectly comfortable dating the "50-year-old who is generous with his vast disposable income".
It puts men who aren't high earners at a disadvantage almost automatically. They're not going to stay long term with some weirdo who has money, but a lot of older men have coasted into high earning status and have lived long enough to have lots of attractive confidence and charm.
The ones that do.. beat out their counterparts often.
This post was edited on 3/25/25 at 3:10 pm
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:03 pm to scottydoesntknow
quote:
I dont agree with this at all. Being charming can make up for a not so nice restaurant or having money. Girls certainly will take advantage of a rich simp that showers her with gifts...but that wont make her attracted to him
The issue that this man you replied to isn't likely seeing..
... is the guy she chose who "took her to a better restaurant" or "makes more money" probably also has a frick ton of charm, a good sense of humor, an approachable amount of confidence, and an overall kind demeanor.
It's easy to say she chose him because of his restaurant choice or his simp money, but the reality is that the guy who took her to a better restaurant or had a higher income probably also had a whole lot of other things that checked her boxes that weren't so superficial.
No normal woman is walking away from someone she is genuinely wild for in favor or someone she doesn't like at all but who simps with money. Chances are, she was lukewarm on the first guy to begin with (or just mildly attracted but seeing where it goes), and then got carried away after she met someone who OVERALL captured her affection in a strong way.
Some dweeb who took your date to Ruffino's isn't getting her for that one and only fact, lol. Chances are, it's his whole package.
lol package
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:06 pm to DesScorp
quote:
Not really. Most women are not attracted to most men. Female interest is a logical sign of reasonable success in getting a date. Without it, you’re basically cold calling in a massive phonebook full of people easily annoyed. Largely a waste of time.
So what do you consider showing “female interest”? I’m curious because I met my husband of nearly 18 years when his dog came up to me on a walk. We talked maybe 15 minutes, and he invited me to a little gathering at his apartment. I thought he was cute, so I went. We consider that our first date. There is nothing that I did during that 15 minutes except talk to him. He took a chance and asked me to hang out. What’s the worst that could have happened? I could have said no?
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:12 pm to DesScorp
quote:
Not really. Most women are not attracted to most men. Female interest is a logical sign of reasonable success in getting a date.
Women will say yes to a date to almost any dude that doesn’t come off as creepy as frick and has the balls to actually ask
This post was edited on 3/25/25 at 3:15 pm
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:20 pm to pelicanpride
Ultimately, these conversations never work online because we don't know who is on the other end the screen.
I've watched men have these same long, drawn out dating advice threads on Reddit.. and then suddenly you see little bombs here and there in the comments. One guy struggling with dating admits he's autistic "but that shouldn't matter". One guy's post history is a massive anime and dragons hobby. One guy is living at home to save money. One guy has bad social anxiety and prefers to avoid socializing with others much. One guy is looking for ideas for free dates because he can't afford to go out to restaurants.
None of these things are something wrong with the person by any means. However, we'd be lying to say they're not roadblocks that can make dating next to impossible.
Kingbob was right on the previous page that advice to "just get out there and do it" to men on the internet doesn't always work because you don't really know anything about what that person is like IRL.
I've watched men have these same long, drawn out dating advice threads on Reddit.. and then suddenly you see little bombs here and there in the comments. One guy struggling with dating admits he's autistic "but that shouldn't matter". One guy's post history is a massive anime and dragons hobby. One guy is living at home to save money. One guy has bad social anxiety and prefers to avoid socializing with others much. One guy is looking for ideas for free dates because he can't afford to go out to restaurants.
None of these things are something wrong with the person by any means. However, we'd be lying to say they're not roadblocks that can make dating next to impossible.
Kingbob was right on the previous page that advice to "just get out there and do it" to men on the internet doesn't always work because you don't really know anything about what that person is like IRL.
This post was edited on 3/25/25 at 3:22 pm
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:21 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
quote:
Women will say yes to a date to almost any dude that doesn’t come off as creepy as frick and has the balls to actually ask
I think part of the problem with these dating apps is that they formalize early encounters as “dates,” and that applies way too much pressure. Pressure for the guy to spend money. Pressure for the woman to figure out where the hell this thing is going.
Just go to the park together or go on a walk. That’s an easier sell when you ask in person.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:25 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
Kingbob was right on the previous page that advice to "just get out there and do it" to men on the internet doesn't always work because you don't really know anything about what that person is like IRL.
Agree. So quit being a wimp and ask them IRL. And you don’t even have to treat it like a date at first. “Hey, my friend is having a crawfish boil. Do you want to come?”
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:29 pm to pelicanpride
I actually do this a lot. It’s not a high percentage play, but if it didn’t work once in a while, i would never date at all.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:29 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
No normal woman is walking away from someone she is genuinely wild for in favor or someone she doesn't like at all but who simps with money.
You missed my point.
quote:
guy she chose who "took her to a better restaurant" or "makes more money" probably also has a frick ton of charm, a good sense of humor, an approachable amount of confidence, and an overall kind demeanor.
I never said the other guy didn't have those things in the original post. The first date could have gone perfectly fine and that still isn't good enough.
The example was 2 equally charming, humor, etcc. 2nd guy makes more money or takes her to a nicer restaurant and she probably chooses that guy.
The POINT is that there shouldn't be a 2nd guy. If the date with the first guy went well then give him a chance and your attention. That's legit minimum level respect that is going out the window for some of these women. They are openly looking for more without even giving a full chance to guys that are interested in them.
I 100% agree with the mindset that guys need to get in the gym, work on themselves, etccc. But I'm also acknowledging that its kinda fricked up for guys to be confident in themselves and have no luck only to be told "you aren't good enough" and "if you want success then don't be yourself".
There still has to be a middle ground.
The mental health crisis is bad right now and only holding on because you have many men that are actually confident/ mentally healthy and are just fighting through the bullshite.
If those men actually get in shape or flip the game then good luck when you have this many insecure women being called losers and getting blackballed for actual being worthless losers with nothing to show for it.
We are talking about a record # of suicides and self loathing if the script was flipped. And we would be blamed for it.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:32 pm to Dantheman504
quote:
The example was 2 equally charming, humor, etcc. 2nd guy makes more money or takes her to a nicer restaurant and she probably chooses that guy.
I’m not sure what the problem is here. Yall are acting like there wasn’t a pecking order before bumble or some shite
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:34 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
The difference is the sheer amount of competition before and after. Her having 2 or 3 suiters vs literally hundreds of matches. You don’t get much of a chance to stand out or make an impression before her fomo kicks in and she’s distracted by someone else.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:34 pm to Dantheman504
quote:
I don't think you get it. You can have a perfect date, great personality, make them laugh, etcc and yet the next guy makes more money or takes her to a better restaurant and its over.
If this happened, there are two options:
1. She actually likes the other guy more. Maybe he’s funnier, better looking, who knows?
2. She is actually that obsessed with money, and you dodged a bullet.
quote:
The types of relationships that are built on semi attractive guys that "hook" girls with personalities and being good dudes are dying out.
Look, you can’t be a complete and total loser, but after a certain threshold, personality matters A LOT to women. Maybe you are fishing in the wrong pond if you are just hooking superficial women.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:35 pm to pelicanpride
Don’t underestimate the affect of accessibility of pron & gambling. As a guy who has been burned a couple times, golf, gambling & pron is a lot more fun in my free time rather than chase after unrealistic women. The juice ain’t worth the squeeze these days.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:36 pm to pelicanpride
The difference is personality used to get you in the door AND hook them. You can’t get in the door with personality now because looks are the door. In addition, your windows for making an impression with your personality are WAY smaller, so your chances of being memorable compared to her literal army of suiters is smaller.
It’s not impossible, just like it’s not impossible to graduate college in four tears debt free with a middle class job in your major. It’s just statistically more difficult and less likely now than it used to be, and it’s unproductive to label people losers for noticing.
It’s not impossible, just like it’s not impossible to graduate college in four tears debt free with a middle class job in your major. It’s just statistically more difficult and less likely now than it used to be, and it’s unproductive to label people losers for noticing.
This post was edited on 3/25/25 at 3:38 pm
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:38 pm to kingbob
quote:
The difference is the sheer amount of competition before and after
You have access to a shite ton more women too
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:39 pm to pelicanpride
quote:
If this happened, there are two options:
1. She actually likes the other guy more. Maybe he’s funnier, better looking, who knows?
2. She is actually that obsessed with money, and you dodged a bullet.
Exactly.
I don't necessarily think homeboy is totally off base with most of his comments, but this...
quote:
I don't think you get it. You can have a perfect date, great personality, make them laugh, etcc and yet the next guy makes more money or takes her to a better restaurant and its over.
... sounds like a very niche situation that either involves her meeting someone she simply ends up liking a lot more, or she's an insane person.
I haven't been single in many, many years. My singleness predates apps. And even I have had instances in my singlehood where another guy swooped up and checked far more boxes for me likeability wise than someone I had already gone on some dates with and hit it off with prior. It happens.
This post was edited on 3/25/25 at 3:43 pm
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:40 pm to kingbob
If I got happily married any of yall should be able to do the same
Posted on 3/25/25 at 3:41 pm to kingbob
quote:
I actually do this a lot. It’s not a high percentage play, but if it didn’t work once in a while, i would never date at all.
Maybe lower percentage, but don’t you think it has a higher hit rate? I would imagine it does a better job of filtering out the women who aren’t really interested. I haven’t dated since college (when nobody had money). This was virtually every early date that I went on, and it worked pretty well.
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