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brian_wilson
LSU Fan
Member since Oct 2016
2809 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

How do you buy these businesses?


Get someone to loan you your own money.

Or start small? Maybe a food truck or hell a window washing business or industrial cleaning. Use the laundered profits to then buy a larger business.

There are a ton of businesses that have very low start up costs.


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deltaland
Mississippi St. Fan
Member since Mar 2011
44881 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
I would think owning a fast food franchise would be good to launder money due to the massive amount of food wasted in them it would be difficult to track purchases compared to supplies bought. Just claim you’re being very efficient and don’t charge more phantom customers than you waste food.


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10
lsufan1971
LSU Fan
Zachary
Member since Nov 2003
7256 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
By a farm with cattle. Cattle die all the time.


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idlewatcher
LSU Fan
Houston
Member since Jan 2012
36518 posts
 Online 

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

Churches or a “ministry” would be another way.


Starting a new church with a small congregation initially - you'd be there until you were 100 years old trying to clean that money.

If you had 100 people that "fake-gave" $100 every Sunday, that's only 10k a week....and if audited, you'd have to justify that.

So 40k/month x 12 months is half a mil/year laundered only. FWIW, I think a church would be a better way to go than a barber shop. Low volume, not expensive haircuts would take forever to clean that money.


AUjim
Auburn Fan
America
Member since Dec 2012
2168 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
Restaurants? Seems like it could be a high cash business...
This post was edited on 12/6 at 10:59 am


TigerstuckinMS
LSU Fan
Member since Nov 2005
16540 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

How do you buy these businesses?

You start a snowcone and snack stand and travel around during festival season. Those things don't have a huge up front cost and those guys make tens of thousands of dollars in a season and it's all cash and it's coming in from all over South Louisiana. For every legit dollar you bring in, you add in a dirty dollar. Buy product to justify the income and throw away what you don't use at the end of the season.

After a couple of years, you should have enough laundered cash to start the second cash business, and so on and so forth. Even better, after all the money's laundered, you'll still have those cash businesses operating and drawing in legit revenue. Make sure when you start getting toward the end of your dirty pile of cash that you taper the income receipts and inventories down over the last few years to simulate a normal decline in business so you don't suddenly have all of your businesses showing a 50% reduction in revenue overnight. If you're really smart, you'll do this staggered as you open new businesses up. Let the carnival stand regress to the mean and then quit laundering money through it and just let it be a normal business as you open the next more lucrative business. Ideally, at the end, you'd only have one business to taper and a long track record of running very successful businesses whose revenues tailed off as competitors "caught up".
This post was edited on 12/6 at 10:55 am


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White Roach
LSU Fan
Member since Apr 2009
7054 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
What do you see happening that appears to be shady?


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BBONDS25
LSU Fan
Member since Mar 2008
31814 posts
 Online 

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

Generally speaking people are not smarter than IRS agents.


If they were that smart, they wouldn’t still be with the IRS.


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Not Cooper
UCLA Fan
Member since Jun 2015
988 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

A friend from Philadelphia talked about knowing which upscale restaurants there gave great meals at a fraction of what it cost to make them. And there were two prices: those on the menu and those charged to special friends. Many, many special friends who paid hamburger prices for filet with double lobster tails.

What the shite is this.

Are your friends reverse money laundering?


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140
Rando
USA Fan
When IPs were Visible
Member since Apr 2015
13000 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
I wouldn't know how to tell you how to input assets.

But I can tell you how to make every dollar of your cash disappear before a divorce.

I can tell you it might help if you have someone who looks enough like you to use their ID. And maybe you walk into the DMV and get a new one with your picture on it.

After that, a series of small town banks with safe deposit boxes.

And maybe you start to hemorrhage money. You start buying every type of food you eat from specialty stores. And you do a lot of cash back. A typical trip for liqour and specialty meats suddenly runs a grand. And maybe you do it a lot. A few times a month. For almost two years.

And maybe you are steadily building up these boxes at these small local banks that are quite near to these places.

And maybe when your divorce comes... You're penniless. And you both have only paid for vehicles, debt, and your own incomes. And maybe you rush the divorce through under the guise of new impending debt to soon be inherited.

And maybe...just maybe... The man wins one.


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Bjorn Cyborg
Member since Sep 2016
8409 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

The whole point is to pay some taxes.


Yes, poor wording on my part. I meant "that you can't legally claim"


MoarKilometers
Florida Atlantic Fan
Member since Apr 2015
5449 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

Generally speaking people are not smarter than IRS agents.

First government agency to figure out ross ulbricht was running the silkroad, not the dea nor the fbi... the fricking irs


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TigerstuckinMS
LSU Fan
Member since Nov 2005
16540 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

Yes, poor wording on my part. I meant "that you can't legally claim"


You MUST claim all income, regardless of the legality of its source. It's a nice little catch-22. You can't hide the money from illegal activities to avoid the cops finding out and sending you to jail because if the IRS finds out that you're hiding the money, they'll send you to jail.

Capone didn't go to jail for murder, racketeering, and bootlegging. He went to jail for not paying his taxes on money he made murdering, running rackets, and bootlegging.
This post was edited on 12/6 at 11:00 am


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kingbob
LSU Fan
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
45561 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
The government is always going to question where you got money from.

In the government's eyes, if you have money, it needs to come from one of the following sources:

1. income from a business you own

2. income on a W2 from an employer

3. inheritance

4. gambling/contest winnings

5. a gift

6. dividends from stocks/bonds

7. proceeds from sale of assets

All of these things get taxed. The purpose of laundering money is to conceal the source of that money because the source wasn't taxed, leading to an issue in trying to use said money. Often times, this money wasn't taxed because it was made selling things that are illegal or stolen. So, in order for ill-gotten money to become kosher money, it has to be funneled through one of the above to make it look legit.

The most popular way to do so is with a legitimate, mostly cash, business like a car wash, bar/strip club, dry-cleaning service, restaurant, etc. Because most of your "customers" are ordering in cash, you can invent customer sales to make up the cash you're getting from selling drugs, or what have you, and have that cash taxed as business income. Voila, all that drug money now looks like restaurant revenue. However, mo money, mo problems. The more money you make doing illegal things, the more ways you need to launder it to avoid looking suspicious. You can launder relatively small amounts through a cash business, but large amounts require either a large number of businesses or a better scheme.

One scheme is to use a casino. You can list "professional gambler" on your taxes. You can use the money you made selling contraband to go to a casino and gamble with it. You then claim that the "winnings" came from your gambling, not from your contraband. Granted, casinos are often wise to this trick, and want in on this. The most famous example of this was Edwin Edwards. As governor, he spearheaded legalizing "gaming" (not gambling) in Louisiana and created a license regime that companies would compete for in order to be able to have a casino in a given place. Since the governor got the final approval on who got a license where, the casinos all lined up to bribe him to get in on the action. So, when someone needed to give Edwin a bribe, he would go to the casino, the casino staff would clear all the regular patrons from the floor where Edwin was at, he would go on some miraculous hot streak, and walk out with the bribe which he would claim as casino winnings.

A big racket for the wealthy and connected is to use bogus charities where only a small percentage of the money actually goes to the stated purpose of the charity, while the rest is funneled through a series of fake businesses and contractors for that charity to eventually end up in the hands of the charity's owner. A lot of big-wig government and SJW-types run this scheme to perfection.

Another less known way is to use fine art. Art is something that has value that is absolutely in the eye of the beholder. So, if one is selling drugs, for example, he would also sell "art". When his patron buys the artwork for some ridiculous sum, that sale is really just a cover for the drug deal, but the cash comes in looking like income from selling art work. Art work is a major scam. One thing that helps keep the art market inflated, which makes this whole art and drugs scam not look obvious, is that government building projects often have a set percentage of their construction budget devoted to purchasing art. This ensures there is always a market, and allows their prices to be consistently high enough to cover for contraband transactions.

None of these methods are the least bit fool proof. The whole idea is to make it look legit enough that you don't stick out as obviously fraudulent. The IRS can only audit so many people each year, and they tend to go after the low-hanging fruit. Simply by not being blatant, you can hold off scrutiny for a while. The problem comes if you're ever audited, there's a great chance that whatever scam being run will get exposed and shut down. What gets you audit is pissing the wrong people off. Considering how many "wrong" people there are, this gets near impossible as a scheme gets larger and larger.

So, my advice is: don't launder money. You will eventually get caught, whatever assets you have at that point will get seized, and you will go to federal "pound me in the arse" prison.
This post was edited on 12/6 at 11:02 am


slackster
Stanford Fan
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
50623 posts
 Online 

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

Yes, poor wording on my part. I meant "that you can't legally claim"





That's the rub. If I had the option to pay taxes on $20MM in cash or launder it, I'd just claim it and move on. Simply not worth it.



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Keys Open Doors
Duke Fan
In hiding with Tupac & XXXTentacion
Member since Dec 2008
26543 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
So in your example would the art purchaser pay 5 million while the dealer lists it at 10 million and mixed in his drug money? Or am I not understanding this?

Inheritances and gifts are rarely taxes, btw. Less than one percent cross the threshold for taxation.


PearlJam
Auburn Fan
NotBeardEaves
Member since Aug 2014
10131 posts
 Online 

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

A friend from Philadelphia talked about knowing which upscale restaurants there gave great meals at a fraction of what it cost to make them. And there were two prices: those on the menu and those charged to special friends. Many, many special friends who paid hamburger prices for filet with double lobster tails.
So he pays for his special friends to eat in order to lose his ill gotten funds? Is he a modern day Robinhood?

How the hell does this help?


NOFOX
New Orleans Pelicans Fan
New Orleans
Member since Jan 2014
6325 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

A big racket for the wealthy and connected is to use bogus charities where only a small percentage of the money actually goes to the stated purpose of the charity, while the rest is funneled through a series of fake businesses and contractors for that charity to eventually end up in the hands of the charity's owner. A lot of big-wig government and SJW-types run this scheme to perfection.



This is how the vast majority of bribing/grift is done in New Orleans. There is a building in Central City which is the registered address for like 40 non-profits. They all receive money from the city operating budget and donations from city contractors, but they basically do nothing. The directors are paid well and are all family members of politicians or behind the scenes politicos.


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slackster
Stanford Fan
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
50623 posts
 Online 

re: Let's talk money laundering
quote:

So he pays for his special friends to eat in order to lose his ill gotten funds? Is he a modern day Robinhood? How the hell does this help?


It helps because you pay $10 cash for steak and lobster and the money launderer puts $30 cash in on his own. There are many ways to do it, but doing it that way prevents any concerns of supplies not matching orders.


756
LSU Fan
Member since Sep 2004
13642 posts

re: Let's talk money laundering
produce or seafood business or meat market- anything that has items that can spoil or become stale.



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