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Posted on 3/16/24 at 6:15 am to Falco
quote:
Let's say you've had a pretty heated argument with a friend that you won't see eye to eye on
If that ends a friendship, then they aren’t real friends. Especially if we’re talking about men here.
This post was edited on 3/16/24 at 6:16 am
Posted on 3/16/24 at 6:37 am to Falco
Hate to see another relationship ended due to politics. Sad part: politicians don’t give a frick about either of you.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 6:51 am to Falco
Not sure I ever know where the line is but I am damn sure when it's crossed. Probably one of my worst traits but it's easy for me to turn my back once lines are crossed.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 7:02 am to Falco
Depends on the age.
Under 30.. move on.
Over 30.. hash it out.
Under 30.. move on.
Over 30.. hash it out.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 7:06 am to Falco
I don’t know OP. I have been friends with my boys since elementary school. I’m 53.
We just get over anything that would keep us from talking. We have been through deaths, cheating , drugs thefts , fights and about any thing else you can think of.
Talk it out and move on. We are only on this planet so long.
We just get over anything that would keep us from talking. We have been through deaths, cheating , drugs thefts , fights and about any thing else you can think of.
Talk it out and move on. We are only on this planet so long.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 7:18 am to Falco
This is actually a good topic that I have had to deal with myself.
One of my best friends lit me up.
Twice he went out of his way to say things that he could have just openly communicated but instead made course And unnecessary remarks.
I did not retaliate.
But I did ask myself 2 questions.
1. Is this guy a friend that makes me better? Is he an elevator that brings me up or down.
2. What is my History with him?
What I realized through those questions, that we have a great history together. He has been a very good friend for many years and we have went through life together. Also that he is a truly good friend that was probably just going through something at home or business.
I made the decision to not let my present offense be greater than my past history. I totally let it go. No probation. No grudge. We are now still close friends.
One of my best friends lit me up.
Twice he went out of his way to say things that he could have just openly communicated but instead made course And unnecessary remarks.
I did not retaliate.
But I did ask myself 2 questions.
1. Is this guy a friend that makes me better? Is he an elevator that brings me up or down.
2. What is my History with him?
What I realized through those questions, that we have a great history together. He has been a very good friend for many years and we have went through life together. Also that he is a truly good friend that was probably just going through something at home or business.
I made the decision to not let my present offense be greater than my past history. I totally let it go. No probation. No grudge. We are now still close friends.
This post was edited on 3/16/24 at 7:20 am
Posted on 3/16/24 at 8:17 am to GeorgeTheGreek
quote:
With the exception of your 2 or 3 lifelong best friends - friends are seasonal. Who cares and move on.
This is exactly how I see it. I've had people I have considered close friends and due to various circumstances like moving away, family commitments, turning bleeding heart liberal, becoming alcohol or drug dependent, etc. I've moved on from them.
At age 71 I'd say I have more casual acquaintances than what I consider long time friends. With the exception of 1 or 2 people from my 20's to 30's who I consider close friends, the rest are in the distant past----and I'm not fussed about it, and likely neither are they.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 8:26 am to Falco
quote:
Just say "frick it?"
Posted on 3/16/24 at 8:30 am to North Dallas Tiger
quote:
Some folks need companionship to thrive, and others prefer their own company / I know folks that can't stand their own company - sad
Yeah, if you can’t tolerate or even occasionally enjoy simply being alone with your own thoughts for more than a few minutes, that’s probably not good.
Also, you should have some people in your life that you are connected with regularly….at a minimum a spouse. Being a total hermit isn’t healthy either.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 8:34 am to Falco
What kind of argument would be long-term friendship-ending as an adult? Were you guys drinking? Was it politics? If so, realize you were probably both being a-holes and move on. And remember, Trump and Biden have more in common with each other than either of them has with you, and they don’t give a crap about you.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 8:46 am to Falco
quote:
When both parties have said shite they normally would not have said.
I "had" one for 30+ years who loved to bash other men's wives when they acted up, it was soooo funny to him.
Including mine
Until it was his turn (his wife ran off with their business partner) - I made some jokes about it and he sulked up, we haven't talked in five years.
Freaking Cry Baby
Posted on 3/16/24 at 8:55 am to Falco
Usually just agree to disagree or apologize and move on. Last time one did something so shitty that I wrote them off was about 14 years ago.
2015 or so myself and one of my best friends/roommate got in to it and beat the shite out of each other (trashy) pretty good. The next morning our girlfriends were confused as all hell because we went hunting together like it'd never happened. I don't even remember what we were fighting about.
2015 or so myself and one of my best friends/roommate got in to it and beat the shite out of each other (trashy) pretty good. The next morning our girlfriends were confused as all hell because we went hunting together like it'd never happened. I don't even remember what we were fighting about.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 9:03 am to HoboDickCheese
Ones view of friends changes over time. I’m 51 and the few real real ones I have I treasure. I’m honored to include mikelbr amongst them.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 9:12 am to Falco
Sometimes, if one person is responsible for starting the conflict, the other person is just waiting for a sincere, heartfelt apology that demonstrates sufficient personal accountability before resetting the relationship. That rebuilds trust. But of course, a lot of people are delusional and/or flaky, unaccountable, prideful, toxic, they just don't care, etc. so you just move on.
Your true friends will almost always come back. Your passing friends fade into memory.
Your true friends will almost always come back. Your passing friends fade into memory.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 9:17 am to Falco
Have a kid in your late 30s. Your entire outlook on friends, free time, etc changes.
It took until my son was about 2 to realize how much time I wasted hanging with boring, sad people.
I didn't cut anyone off, just started being more intentional with spare time.
It took until my son was about 2 to realize how much time I wasted hanging with boring, sad people.
I didn't cut anyone off, just started being more intentional with spare time.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 9:18 am to Rick9Plus
quote:
What kind of argument would be long-term friendship-ending as an adult?
Apparently having a different point of view about your best friend's industry. I had a different point of view about the industry's foreign perception in America and remember disagreeing and him pushing back. I remember saying "well I'm not going to argue with you" and thought that was that. He hasn't returned my phone call or texts in over a month. Known him since were in 5th grade and we have spoken twice a a week regularly for years. I'm so surprised at his ego that I almost want to laugh. I'm not mad because that can't be the root of it. He can't be that successful and that shallow. But until he mans up and speaks to me like an adult I cant address the problem. What you gonna do?
This post was edited on 3/16/24 at 9:24 am
Posted on 3/16/24 at 9:26 am to Falco
Who gets in heated arguments w a friend?
Posted on 3/16/24 at 9:32 am to Falco
People grow apart sometimes.
Posted on 3/16/24 at 9:42 am to Falco
Depends on the situation. A minor disagreement should not permanently damage the friendship but a major stab in the back is another thing entirely
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