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Legit question for Atheist on the OT Board

Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:12 pm
Posted by beebefootballfan
Member since Mar 2011
19014 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:12 pm
Need to ask you guys a very serious question.

Last night a family member passed away and his parents asked if I would do the funeral service. I am stuck in a what to do scenario as he was an Atheist. They are RC's but have requested that I perform the funeral in a manner that would respect him and his beliefs.

My question to you is what would you like done at your funeral? My thoughts where mainly the normal stuff IE Reading of the Obituary, A time where his close friends had a few moments to reflect on his life and what it meant to them, and then finish up by sharing my stories about us growing up together.

I really want to honor his families wishes and give him a proper and respectful funeral so give me your ideas.


If you come in here to start some type of religious debate or make rude comments please refrain. While it is a touchy subject, I would prefer that you respect my family member.
Posted by Jones
Member since Oct 2005
90449 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:13 pm to
quote:

A time where his close friends had a few moments to reflect on his life and what it meant to them, and then finish up by sharing my stories about us growing up together.


leave it at that. dont make a giant production out of it.
Posted by jrodLSUke
Premium
Member since Jan 2011
22090 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:13 pm to
The funeral is for the family. It is OK to respect them and their wishes.
Posted by HempHead
Big Sky Country
Member since Mar 2011
55439 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:14 pm to
I'd like a huge funeral pyre, Viking style, but I doubt my family would oblige.

A simple memorial service without religious overtones would be fine by me.
Posted by The Third Leg
Idiot Out Wandering Around
Member since May 2014
10037 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:14 pm to
Edited because I misread the OP.

You should just tailor it to his life. Tell a few stories, make it jocular, but respectful. Atheists tend to be light hearted, I am. I wouldn't mind some Jesus cruiser saying he was still going to pray for me to go to heaven even though he knew I didn't believe in it.
This post was edited on 6/8/14 at 10:19 pm
Posted by TheWalrus
Member since Dec 2012
40444 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:14 pm to
I wouldn't see anything different than a normal religious funeral, just leaving out the "he's in a better place or watching down on us" type stuff.
Posted by madamsquirrel
The Snarlington Estate
Member since Jul 2009
48374 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:15 pm to
The last two funeral home services I have been to included slideshows of the persons life and music was played in the beginning and end.
Posted by SpartyGator
Detroit Lions fan
Member since Oct 2011
75401 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:15 pm to
Yep, just look at it as a time to reflect and honor their life.
This post was edited on 6/8/14 at 10:16 pm
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83528 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:17 pm to
quote:

My thoughts where mainly the normal stuff IE Reading of the Obituary, A time where his close friends had a few moments to reflect on his life and what it meant to them, and then finish up by sharing my stories about us growing up together.



there you go
Posted by LSUZombie
A Cemetery Near You
Member since Apr 2008
28893 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:19 pm to
Just read this and modify where needed.

quote:

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly. Amen.
-Aaron Freeman.
Posted by Fletch F Fletch
The Seat of Caddo Parish
Member since Jan 2009
6474 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:21 pm to
quote:

A simple memorial service without religious overtones would be fine by me.


My friends know I want zero religious anything, but I'd certainly like an open bar so people can get lubed up and tell all the stories they want. And no suits...you wear a suit, that means you didn't even know me, so no admittance. Just a bunch of friends and family drinking margaritas

Keg on my coffin

As for the religious aspect, in your case, I personally wouldn't mind someone saying something like "fletch wasn't religious, but if you'd like to silently pray for whatever and to whoever, you're more than welcome". Something simple like that.
Posted by foshizzle
Washington DC metro
Member since Mar 2008
40599 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:21 pm to
I also think the Viking funeral pyre would be pretty cool. But honestly it's about what the family wants, I won't care because I'll be dead.
Posted by Melvin
Member since Apr 2011
23535 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:22 pm to
I really don't care what they do with me when I die because I'll be dead. If my family members want to have a Catholic funeral for me to make them feel better that's fine. But they could just throw me in the trash for all I care.
Posted by bradwieser
Cornell Fan
Member since May 2008
10555 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:22 pm to
make a joke like, he's all dressed up with nowhere to go.
Posted by Traffic Circle
Down the Rabbit Hole
Member since Nov 2013
4239 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:22 pm to
You need to start a big fire and dance around with snakes and stuff like that. They want to see a show.
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
COINTELPRO Fan
Member since May 2012
55557 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:23 pm to
quote:

make a joke like, he's all dressed up with nowhere to go.

Posted by CorkSoaker
Member since Oct 2008
9784 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:25 pm to
Let me guess, you're 24 years old?
Posted by Btrtigerfan
Disgruntled employee
Member since Dec 2007
21392 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:27 pm to
I don't believe in atheists.
Posted by The Third Leg
Idiot Out Wandering Around
Member since May 2014
10037 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 10:29 pm to
quote:

make a joke like, he's all dressed up with nowhere to go.

Some good work today, Brad.
This post was edited on 6/8/14 at 10:32 pm
Posted by saintsfan1977
West Monroe, from Cajun country
Member since Jun 2010
7632 posts
Posted on 6/8/14 at 11:02 pm to
Simply talk about the good in his past, his life, etc. I'm getting cremated so my family doesn't have to make a big deal out of it. Told my wife to dump the ashes outside the door of the crematorium. My kids will be asked to do the same when they are of age.
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