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Message
re: Just got a bidet
Posted on 5/22/24 at 9:30 am to JiminyCricket
Posted on 5/22/24 at 9:30 am to JiminyCricket
I'm a simple man. Uncle Sam sent me to Iraq for a year+ and I came back respecting the power of wet-wipes. Toilet paper is simply inferior, so I understand people looking for better options. 
0
Posted on 5/22/24 at 9:31 am to sec13rowBBseat28
quote:
The only thing that sucks about having a bidet is when you have to use the bathroom somewhere else. I absolutely hate using the bathroom now without a bidet.
I don't know how I functioned before bidets. I guess it was just normal but when I have to shite somewhere that doesn't have one, i'm in a foul mood. I'll never understand why walking around with smeared dookie in your butt is "more manly."
Posted on 5/22/24 at 9:34 am to Dragula
quote:
Getting blasted in the arse is not something I want to try or would enjoy.
I think y'all grossly exaggerate the depth of the jet. It doesn't blow your anus out, just washes the peanut butter smear from your crack.
The absolute best part about it is the complete elimination of mud butt. After you use a bidet, you'll never have that nasty surprise of wiping clean only to find an hour later, you need to wipe more.
Posted on 5/22/24 at 10:11 am to SECSolomonGrundy
Could not live without it
Posted on 5/22/24 at 10:12 am to Mr Roboto
quote:Flushable wipe? Your plumber must love you.
Bidets aren’t all that. I prefer TP then clean with flushable wipe. I’m also not fat, if that matters.
Posted on 5/22/24 at 10:16 am to SECSolomonGrundy
i have one as well.. it is truly remarkable
Posted on 5/22/24 at 10:19 am to SECSolomonGrundy
The worst thing about having a bidet...is NOT having a bidet!!!
Posted on 5/22/24 at 10:32 am to PeteRose
quote:
No one ever tried a bidet and said “I can’t wait to go back to toilet paper”.
My entire family did. We had them in every bathroom in our house in Germany for 7 years. Real ones, not aftermarket ones. They are largely responsible for European aversion to showering daily. They are also prone to making one helluva mess when kids and adults who have not used one either find it hilarious to spray water all of the place or try to figure out its use on their own. They are, in my opinion, another step that complicates an otherwise tried and true simple process, but each to their own.
Posted on 5/22/24 at 10:36 am to Loup
quote:
leaving a turd in the bidet before he realized I was joking.
While a good joke and well played a real bidet does indeed present an opportunity to have fecal matter from a previous user sprayed on your backside...like hotel comforters they are only as clean as the hotel makes them and even in the finest hotels the cleaning staff consists of low wage employees who may or may not have your health on the top of their list of priorities....
Posted on 5/22/24 at 10:53 am to JodyPlauche
I'm Pro Bidet and I Vote.
I agree with all of the above Pro-Bidet responses.
When you have been working in the yard, or otherwise have swamp arse...a cool bidet spritz is the best!
I agree with all of the above Pro-Bidet responses.
When you have been working in the yard, or otherwise have swamp arse...a cool bidet spritz is the best!
Posted on 5/22/24 at 11:01 am to DarthGadget
All the bidet bros here probably enjoy sitting on the jacuzzi jets for hours on end
Posted on 5/22/24 at 11:39 am to JiminyCricket
Indeed
Posted on 5/22/24 at 11:42 am to Robin Masters
Chicken really should have a bidet sponsor by now. Zero doubts this board has sold 1,000 of them.
I have 4 from an OG bidet thread some years back.
I have 4 from an OG bidet thread some years back.
This post was edited on 5/22/24 at 11:43 am
Posted on 5/22/24 at 11:44 am to SECSolomonGrundy
Yea they're pretty incredible. Mine doesn't have a heated seat so I'm pretty jealous.
Posted on 5/22/24 at 12:20 pm to SECSolomonGrundy
Thanks for telling everybody you like getting your arse blasted.
By water. And nothing else, I'm sure.
By water. And nothing else, I'm sure.
Posted on 5/22/24 at 12:23 pm to Gideon Swashbuckler
quote:
Thanks for telling everybody you like getting your arse blasted.
my brother in christ, it's 2024. get that booty ate.
Posted on 5/22/24 at 12:37 pm to iwyLSUiwy
quote:
Yea they're pretty incredible. Mine doesn't have a heated seat so I'm pretty jealous.
I think if you have heated water, the seat might be over the top. Nothing makes you feel cleaner and more refreshed than just making it to the head after running when it is frigid outside than that warm water blast from a bidet.
Posted on 5/22/24 at 12:45 pm to Clark14
quote:
I googled it and it seems like you shite, wipe your arse, figure out an angle leaning up or back and hose your arse down, then dry and wipe it off again.
If a person doesn’t bathe often I suppose it would beneficial.
Why wait around all day with residual shite in your arse (and yes, no matter how well you wipe some will still be there) and wait for a bath, when you can essentially "bathe" your a-hole immediately?
Posted on 5/22/24 at 2:06 pm to Robin Masters
quote:
There seems to be some confusion here regarding the physics of how a bidet works.
The water of the bidet is NOT sprayed inside your rectum. It is merely used to spray off the stubborn poo that loiters around the entrance to your anus.
Hope this helps to clear up any misunderstandings.
Well Said
Posted on 5/22/24 at 3:14 pm to Robin Masters
quote:
Robin Masters
quote:
entrance to your anus
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