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Is someone a good man if they derive pleasure from people thinking they are a good man?
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:17 pm
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:17 pm
Conversation with a friend recently.
To elaborate on the question. If someone is a nice person, but they get a sense of satisfaction out of people thinking that they are a nice person, are they actually a nice person?
Or does that niceness come from a place Of selfishness, making their niceness an inherently selfish gesture?
And I’m not talking about that “I’m a nice guy” sort of profile where If their niceness isn’t immediately forthcoming with their desired result they turn into an a-hole sort of person.
Just someone where they derive a sense of pleasure from people thinking fondly of them because of how they treat people. It may be a factor in why they act that way, Because they have seen good things come from that behavior. But the don’t switch immediately to not a nice person if they don’t get that either.
It was simply a topic of discussion which I thought the fruitful minds of the OT might have some interesting takes on.
TL;DR version
Is someone actually nice if they derive pleasure From people (not just women) thinking they are a nice person?
Here’s a Funny puppy for your troubles
To elaborate on the question. If someone is a nice person, but they get a sense of satisfaction out of people thinking that they are a nice person, are they actually a nice person?
Or does that niceness come from a place Of selfishness, making their niceness an inherently selfish gesture?
And I’m not talking about that “I’m a nice guy” sort of profile where If their niceness isn’t immediately forthcoming with their desired result they turn into an a-hole sort of person.
Just someone where they derive a sense of pleasure from people thinking fondly of them because of how they treat people. It may be a factor in why they act that way, Because they have seen good things come from that behavior. But the don’t switch immediately to not a nice person if they don’t get that either.
It was simply a topic of discussion which I thought the fruitful minds of the OT might have some interesting takes on.
TL;DR version
Is someone actually nice if they derive pleasure From people (not just women) thinking they are a nice person?
Here’s a Funny puppy for your troubles
This post was edited on 7/30/22 at 6:21 pm
29
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:19 pm to fr33manator
quote:farts are funny
It was simply a topic of discussion which I thought the fruitful minds of the OT might have some interesting takes on.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:20 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
farts are funny
No lies detected. They ARE funny.
Less so in a kitchen though.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:20 pm to fr33manator
Nice guys finish last.
Did that answer the question?
Did that answer the question?
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:22 pm to fr33manator
Matthew 6:3-
“But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:”
“But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:”
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:23 pm to fr33manator
It’s a good question. But to me, if one is gaining pleasure by being nice and helping people with no ulterior motives. Then that is the sign of a good person. The fact that it makes them feel good is the universe/God saying good job.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:23 pm to fr33manator
Friends had this debate between Joey and Phoebe. Joey said there is no such thing as a selfless good deed. Phoebe said there was, and she spent the show trying to prove it. I forget who won the debate.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:23 pm to fr33manator
It's good to hear that other people appreciate you. I don't think it invalidates your "niceness". It just lets you know that other people have taken notice of your character. I get complimentary comments about my parenting skillz every so often and it just makes me want to be a better dad.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:25 pm to fr33manator
This is actually a concept discussed at length in freemasonry. It boils down to maintaining a sense of humility. If you’re blasting your good deeds all over social media for example, your motivations are out of whack and I would not consider you truly a good person.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:31 pm to fr33manator
I derive satisfaction from not being a dick to people when I could easily do so. Whatever that makes me, is fine
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:32 pm to sabes que
quote:
if one is gaining pleasure by being nice and helping people with no ulterior motives. Then that is the sign of a good person. The fact that it makes them feel good is the universe/God saying good job.
This was kind of my thought process. I always tell my kids “you get more flies with honey than with vinegar”
Being an a-hole isn’t going to get you what you want, but more than that just being a good, genuine person is going to ingrain itself in your character and make it to where you aren’t even trying anymore. Kind of a fake it until you make it thing.
And then once you establish a good reputation It’s easier to maintain it because you value that aspect of yourself.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:33 pm to fr33manator
I feel like on some primitive level that good feeling might be literally the only thing that made us selfless and evolved us from animals into human beings.
Realistically though, if you’re a genuinely good person I think you should feel good about it. Not all that many of those
Realistically though, if you’re a genuinely good person I think you should feel good about it. Not all that many of those
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:33 pm to fr33manator
No, just like the wise man doesn’t think he’s wise, the good man does not think he is good. He thinks he’s trying to be good, but he can recognize his moral failings. The person who thinks he’s a good person almost never is. There’s a very easy way to test it with assholes who wear this shirt:
“I voted for Donald Trump.”
That ends really quickly. You may not have recognized her, but does this look like a good person?
No, she’s Veruca Salt.
“I voted for Donald Trump.”
That ends really quickly. You may not have recognized her, but does this look like a good person?
No, she’s Veruca Salt.
This post was edited on 7/30/22 at 6:41 pm
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:35 pm to TigerOnTheMountain
quote:
This is actually a concept discussed at length in freemasonry. It boils down to maintaining a sense of humility.
So you can be appreciative of people noticing, but that’s not at the core of why you behave in that manner, nor do you need people to notice to validate it.
I like that. It’s just a fringe benefit.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:36 pm to fr33manator
If someone is doing good deeds solely so others will think he's a good man, then he's being a bit duplicitous if he's allowing people to think he's doing good deeds simply for the sake of altruism.
It doesn't necessarily make him bad, just not good to the level of being virtuous. A person who does so suffers from hubris.
It doesn't necessarily make him bad, just not good to the level of being virtuous. A person who does so suffers from hubris.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:36 pm to fr33manator
If a person is decent regardless of how others react, why does it matter if they enjoy others believing they’re decent?
Some people like being liked.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:42 pm to fr33manator
quote:
Conversation with a friend recently.
I call bullshite.
I like to think I do the right thing when I can and I don't really like people knowing because I don't do the right thing to impress other, but everyone is different.
With that said, I don't think it makes someone a bad person for wanting others to think they are a good man... Unless they are a bad person.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:43 pm to fr33manator
I'm a horrible person
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:43 pm to fr33manator
Enough frickery in this world. If someone is being kind to others, let us not over analyze their motives and appreciate that is one less person to worry about.
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:43 pm to fr33manator
Exactly. If your motivation for helping someone is your own validation, you’re not a good person. You’re an a-hole using someone else’s misfortune for your own benefit.
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