Started By
Message

Is someone a good man if they derive pleasure from people thinking they are a good man?

Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:17 pm
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124315 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:17 pm
Conversation with a friend recently.


To elaborate on the question. If someone is a nice person, but they get a sense of satisfaction out of people thinking that they are a nice person, are they actually a nice person?

Or does that niceness come from a place Of selfishness, making their niceness an inherently selfish gesture?

And I’m not talking about that “I’m a nice guy” sort of profile where If their niceness isn’t immediately forthcoming with their desired result they turn into an a-hole sort of person.

Just someone where they derive a sense of pleasure from people thinking fondly of them because of how they treat people. It may be a factor in why they act that way, Because they have seen good things come from that behavior. But the don’t switch immediately to not a nice person if they don’t get that either.

It was simply a topic of discussion which I thought the fruitful minds of the OT might have some interesting takes on.

TL;DR version

Is someone actually nice if they derive pleasure From people (not just women) thinking they are a nice person?

Here’s a Funny puppy for your troubles

This post was edited on 7/30/22 at 6:21 pm
Posted by OWLFAN86
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
175982 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:19 pm to
quote:

It was simply a topic of discussion which I thought the fruitful minds of the OT might have some interesting takes on.

farts are funny
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124315 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:20 pm to
quote:

farts are funny



No lies detected. They ARE funny.

Less so in a kitchen though.
Posted by High C
viewing the fall....
Member since Nov 2012
53830 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:20 pm to
Nice guys finish last.

Did that answer the question?
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65723 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:22 pm to
Matthew 6:3-

“But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:”
Posted by sabes que
Member since Jan 2010
10156 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:23 pm to
It’s a good question. But to me, if one is gaining pleasure by being nice and helping people with no ulterior motives. Then that is the sign of a good person. The fact that it makes them feel good is the universe/God saying good job.
Posted by LegendInMyMind
Member since Apr 2019
54340 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:23 pm to
Friends had this debate between Joey and Phoebe. Joey said there is no such thing as a selfless good deed. Phoebe said there was, and she spent the show trying to prove it. I forget who won the debate.
Posted by TrapperJohn
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2007
11143 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:23 pm to
It's good to hear that other people appreciate you. I don't think it invalidates your "niceness". It just lets you know that other people have taken notice of your character. I get complimentary comments about my parenting skillz every so often and it just makes me want to be a better dad.
Posted by TigerOnTheMountain
Higher Elevation
Member since Oct 2014
41773 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:25 pm to
This is actually a concept discussed at length in freemasonry. It boils down to maintaining a sense of humility. If you’re blasting your good deeds all over social media for example, your motivations are out of whack and I would not consider you truly a good person.
Posted by cgrand
HAMMOND
Member since Oct 2009
38822 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:31 pm to
I derive satisfaction from not being a dick to people when I could easily do so. Whatever that makes me, is fine
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124315 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:32 pm to
quote:

if one is gaining pleasure by being nice and helping people with no ulterior motives. Then that is the sign of a good person. The fact that it makes them feel good is the universe/God saying good job.


This was kind of my thought process. I always tell my kids “you get more flies with honey than with vinegar”

Being an a-hole isn’t going to get you what you want, but more than that just being a good, genuine person is going to ingrain itself in your character and make it to where you aren’t even trying anymore. Kind of a fake it until you make it thing.

And then once you establish a good reputation It’s easier to maintain it because you value that aspect of yourself.

Posted by Pooturd
Knoxville
Member since Mar 2020
1258 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:33 pm to
I feel like on some primitive level that good feeling might be literally the only thing that made us selfless and evolved us from animals into human beings.

Realistically though, if you’re a genuinely good person I think you should feel good about it. Not all that many of those
Posted by OMLandshark
Member since Apr 2009
108567 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:33 pm to
No, just like the wise man doesn’t think he’s wise, the good man does not think he is good. He thinks he’s trying to be good, but he can recognize his moral failings. The person who thinks he’s a good person almost never is. There’s a very easy way to test it with assholes who wear this shirt:



“I voted for Donald Trump.”

That ends really quickly. You may not have recognized her, but does this look like a good person?



No, she’s Veruca Salt.
This post was edited on 7/30/22 at 6:41 pm
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124315 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:35 pm to
quote:

This is actually a concept discussed at length in freemasonry. It boils down to maintaining a sense of humility.


So you can be appreciative of people noticing, but that’s not at the core of why you behave in that manner, nor do you need people to notice to validate it.

I like that. It’s just a fringe benefit.
Posted by Bard
Definitely NOT an admin
Member since Oct 2008
51679 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:36 pm to
If someone is doing good deeds solely so others will think he's a good man, then he's being a bit duplicitous if he's allowing people to think he's doing good deeds simply for the sake of altruism.

It doesn't necessarily make him bad, just not good to the level of being virtuous. A person who does so suffers from hubris.
Posted by TheHarahanian
Actually not Harahan as of 6/2023
Member since May 2017
19532 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:36 pm to

If a person is decent regardless of how others react, why does it matter if they enjoy others believing they’re decent?

Some people like being liked.
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
113970 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:42 pm to
quote:

Conversation with a friend recently.


I call bullshite.


I like to think I do the right thing when I can and I don't really like people knowing because I don't do the right thing to impress other, but everyone is different.

With that said, I don't think it makes someone a bad person for wanting others to think they are a good man... Unless they are a bad person.
Posted by SEClint
New Orleans, LA/Portland, OR
Member since Nov 2006
48769 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:43 pm to
I'm a horrible person
Posted by SwampGar
Texas
Member since Jan 2020
887 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:43 pm to
Enough frickery in this world. If someone is being kind to others, let us not over analyze their motives and appreciate that is one less person to worry about.
Posted by TigerOnTheMountain
Higher Elevation
Member since Oct 2014
41773 posts
Posted on 7/30/22 at 6:43 pm to
Exactly. If your motivation for helping someone is your own validation, you’re not a good person. You’re an a-hole using someone else’s misfortune for your own benefit.
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 4Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitterInstagram