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re: Is kicking children out of the house when they turn 18, or mess up, a thing of the past?
Posted on 12/18/24 at 6:19 am to The Scofflaw
Posted on 12/18/24 at 6:19 am to The Scofflaw
I like the dad, the daughter’s dad. Tells it like it is.
1
Posted on 12/18/24 at 7:02 am to The Scofflaw
Okay... Not good that she's pregnant and in this situation. It could easily have been avoided. However - she's planning on carrying the child full term despite her father's apparent attempt to get her to terminate the pregnancy.
Yeah, she did wrong, but she's not committing another wrong to try to make it go away. I have to say that she's certainly a better person than her dad at this point. At least se has respect for human life. (And it'll be her dad's loss when he won't be bonding with his grandchild.)
Yeah, she did wrong, but she's not committing another wrong to try to make it go away. I have to say that she's certainly a better person than her dad at this point. At least se has respect for human life. (And it'll be her dad's loss when he won't be bonding with his grandchild.)
Posted on 12/18/24 at 8:32 am to The Scofflaw
quote:
I remember this being such a trope growing up "Once you're 18, you're on your own." But now it seems more and more accepted.
I have never personally seen an issue with a kid staying longer if they needed help. Why turn your back on your own children?
My parents never did that. We had a great relationship. But I wanted to be independent at 18 and find my own way in the world. I knew I could go back home if I ever needed to, but I didn't ever need to.
They taught me how to take care of myself. I think that is the greatest gift a parent can give to a child.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 8:41 am to wackatimesthree
quote:Ok so you’re cool with putting her out on her own after the 2nd time. But someone is a pos for doing the exact same thing the 1st time?
If at 18 years old either one of them had come to me with this same news the conversation we would have had would have been about supporting her through the pregnancy, birth, and adoption procedure, the baby daddy would never see her again from that day forward, and after all of that was over, how life was going to be different so that this didn't happen again until she was married and stable and if it did, that she would indeed be on her own.
That’s unbelievable logic.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 8:54 am to jizzle6609
quote:
It’s almost like people can’t figure out anything anymore.
A graduate from an expensive private university in Dallas had to call his dad while we were all (except the graduate) on a family trip to Europe to ask how to sign up for cable Internet, and which plan he should pick.
I rolled 2-3 deep in apartments for years, there's nothing wrong with it, but remember we live in an age of all the OT ballers buying "investment" condos for their kids to live in during college, pay for their cars, and generally baby the shite out of them.
If, as a parent, you believe that you should encourage your young Shakespere to go to an out of state private university for an English Lit degree, rather than go public, in state (with very, very, very few exceptions) you're a failure as a parent, and you're teaching your kid lessons that will get them nothing as adults. Typically under the BS guise of "education is priceless" or somesuch drivel.
This post was edited on 12/18/24 at 8:55 am
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:19 am to The Scofflaw
As long as they're in school, they can stay in my house for free. If they aren't in school, they need to get a job, pay us rent, and have a plan to move out within 6 months.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:22 am to lsufball19
quote:
We’re talking about 18 year olds supporting themselves, not taking out student loans. That’s kind of the antithesis of supporting yourself
No, what I responded to was specifically about how it is supposedly impossible to put yourself through college now.
Either way, the 18 year old can support him or herself. They just need to find a job that offers health insurance. Everything else is just like I posted.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:23 am to ReauxlTide222
quote:
Ok so you’re cool with putting her out on her own after the 2nd time. But someone is a pos for doing the exact same thing the 1st time?
Where do you see that I said he was a POS either way?
quote:
That’s unbelievable logic.
Maybe it is. But it's yours, not mine. I didn't say what you claim.
This post was edited on 12/18/24 at 9:24 am
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:23 am to The Scofflaw
I don’t think he’s kicking her out because of her age
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:24 am to wackatimesthree
This reminded me of this thread
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:28 am to Mingo Was His NameO
quote:
Can’t afford a house or kids until their 40s
My parents weren't able to buy a house until Dad was 40 and Mom was 39. That was 1980.
This idea that young people now have it so much harder than previous generations is mostly a myth.
quote:
These people are saddled with debt which puts them incredibly far behind.
They don't have to be. Like I posted, they can always go in to the military and have their school paid for, plus whatever skills they learn in the military.
quote:
Why you idiots knight for this shite is mind blowing.
Why you much bigger idiots white knight for people to stay adolescents their whole lives is a much bigger mystery.
Any moron can see that that's a monumentally bad idea.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:32 am to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
This reminded me of this thread
I don't think there's much crossover.
In one case we're talking about setting limits for how long children can stay children in NeverNeverLand and in another we're talking about selfishly wasting wealth for your own enjoyment.
What some people here seem completely oblivious to is that it's not good for children to not have limits. It's actually very bad for them. Enabling is very toxic.
Actually, now that I think about it, maybe there is more cross over than I previously thought. In both cases (coddling children into adulthood and using up all your wealth so they can't have any of it) you are doing what makes you happy (or at east avoiding what makes you uncomfortable) instead of what's in the best interest of your child.
This post was edited on 12/18/24 at 9:33 am
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:34 am to deltaland
quote:
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:36 am to The Scofflaw
quote:
I remember this being such a trope growing up "Once you're 18, you're on your own." But now it seems more and more accepted.
I have never personally seen an issue with a kid staying longer if they needed help. Why turn your back on your own children?
My oldest is 25 and finishing school in May of '25. He's got 3 months to get out after graduation. We will help him get set up and be there if needed, but he has to go be a productive member of society. He can visit anytime. But he has to go to his place, pay bills, and have real adult responsibilities. And I need a man cave.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:42 am to The Scofflaw
It's simple, really.
If my daughters needed to move back into my house, they're under my rules. So it behooves them to be self sufficient, or they are going to be following house rules.
No one has autonomy in this lifetime without being self sufficient. If you're being subsidized in any fashion, you're not truly free.
That's why I left home after HS. If you want to live your own life, you have to do it on your own. Every single time you take help, you invite others to tell you how to live.
If my daughters needed to move back into my house, they're under my rules. So it behooves them to be self sufficient, or they are going to be following house rules.
No one has autonomy in this lifetime without being self sufficient. If you're being subsidized in any fashion, you're not truly free.
That's why I left home after HS. If you want to live your own life, you have to do it on your own. Every single time you take help, you invite others to tell you how to live.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:43 am to liz18lsu
quote:
Knock off
Oh man, you really got her there
Surprised that one didn’t take you 4 hours to sound out and post.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:44 am to The Scofflaw
I will not kick my kids out of the house at 18. I just want them to have the confidence to take healthy risks, like attempt to live on their own at 18.
Kids can do it, but as so many have mentioned, they may need to work with several roommates to afford it. And this may be the most challenging part...working with roommates they may not like or have a conflict with. Social media influences them to just avoid the things they don't like, and less parents are telling them to just suck it up.
Parents really need to push their kids earlier in life to be able to instill confidence and resiliency. If/ when they fail, give them a soft place to fall at home, but keep pushing them.
I don't think it's as financial as it is there's just more weak children that can't handle as much "life" as we once did.
Kids can do it, but as so many have mentioned, they may need to work with several roommates to afford it. And this may be the most challenging part...working with roommates they may not like or have a conflict with. Social media influences them to just avoid the things they don't like, and less parents are telling them to just suck it up.
Parents really need to push their kids earlier in life to be able to instill confidence and resiliency. If/ when they fail, give them a soft place to fall at home, but keep pushing them.
I don't think it's as financial as it is there's just more weak children that can't handle as much "life" as we once did.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:45 am to The Scofflaw
double post
This post was edited on 12/18/24 at 9:47 am
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:46 am to The Scofflaw
If that's my daughter, she gone.
I would never allow her to date a boy with earrings.
I would never allow her to date a boy with earrings.
This post was edited on 12/18/24 at 10:06 am
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:46 am to wackatimesthree
quote:
This idea that young people now have it so much harder than previous generations is mostly a myth.
It’s verifiably true. There’s no argument. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible, but everyone outside of a very high percentile is worse off. To argue otherwise is just cognitive dissonance.
quote:
They don't have to be. Like I posted, they can always go in to the military and have their school paid for, plus whatever skills they learn in the military.
Or you know, we could just cultivate a society where education and basic living situations are affordable within needing to be fed into the industrial military complex.
quote:
Why you much bigger idiots white knight for people to stay adolescents their whole lives is a much bigger mystery.
Who said this?
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