re: Involuntary Singleness/Childlessness/Loneliness

I got married at 35, but my wife is 8 years younger so…

I got married at 38, first kid @ 39. She's about to have kid #2 and I just turned 45 (she's 32).

It's never too late, especially if you can find the perfect 26 year old who has a successful young career.

Failing that, look for a divorcee whose kids are grown and almost gone.

There's someone for everyone.

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No surprise that the board liberal is advocating cuckoldry

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How many kids Anna got?

Really interesting thread, in my opinion. Almost an identical description of my life and most of my current friends. (Prob 3, good solid friends and I am 50 yrs old)

My take from personal expierience:
Prepare/toughen yourself mentally to the possibility that this is it. Probability is that you remain single. Then what?
1) Maintain as much of a social life as possible. Stop beating yourself up for being the "third wheel/only single guy" at parties, holidays,etc. GO TO THE PARTY. ACCEPT THE INVITE. MAKE YOURSELF GO. Don't start avoiding social situations. This helps when you finally bump into a decent woman.

2) Watch your alcohol intake like a goddamn hawk. That shite is poison to a human being in this spot. Everybody has an acceptable dose/limit. Figure yours out. (Mine is two. 3rd drink triggers all kinds of issues)

3) MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL:
You're body is not the same as it was. You have to friggin' eat right. Eat healthier than you ever have in your life. Hit that goddamn gym like you are in Navy Seal training. Get a routine. Learn to run. You have to make your body produce the right chemicals/hormones and all that crap. Get fired up about being in the best shape of your life. Start a journal. Write down your thoughts and watch them get cleaned up as your rountine gets put together.

Lastly, I went into a flat spin about all this shite a couple of years ago. Dug myself out of and life is cool as can be again. Got plenty of chics being friendly to me etc and having fun most days.
Life is good. Yours is just a little different than the old stereotype.

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It was one of the few times in my life where my involuntary singleness, childlessness and loneliness hit me all at once.

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I don't mean to be cynical but your current place in life doesn't sound involuntary.
I have a close friend of mine that made 40 this year and a genuinely good person. Since we were little kids maybe the most trustworthy person I've known. Same as you, not married and no kids. To sum up his explanation, he just hasn't found the "right person" to have a family with.

We've had many conversations about it but my opinion for his "reason" is fear. Fear of the ultimate loss. His mother died of cancer when he was a boy and he saw how it not only affected him but his father. His dad was a good father but grew ever distant with his own feelings of loss and struggle with "replacing" his wife and mother to his children.

To me, every relationship, especially with a potential life partner, has two main aspects that can impact the strength of that bond: risk and sacrifice. There will always be a risk of great loss or emotional difficulty but the other side is great joy and an element of peace and fulfillment. The sacrifice is a given for both parties. Nothing truly great was achieved without great sacrifice.

Your life's book has not been pre-written. Start working on the next chapter, whatever that may be. You only get one shot at this... so take it!

I recommend making an account on seeking arrangement dot com. There's plenty of college aged babes looking for a Splenda Daddy.

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Just recently there was a bartender (really beautiful and sweet) that I was attracted to. It's a local bar I go to regularly so we know each other pretty well and give each other hugs every time I'm there. She's even a Saints fan which is awesome. On her facebook profile she's single but I ran into her roommate last week, asked the roommate if she was seeing anyone and she indicated that she is

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Time to start being honest with yourself. You never had a chance with this broad. You have a higher estimation of your attractiveness with women. Be honest about the type of woman you have a chance with and act accordingly.

A guy I work with is 53 with a 3 year old son.

Eat healthy, work out, get you a nice young 30 year old, and reproduce. You have tons of life left. Suck it up, and stop being a sissy.

I am kind of going through the same thing as you, but I am not near as old as you. Since that is the case, I do not have any good advice to live, but I would just say to stay the course. There's ALWAYS someone out there for you regardless of how old you are. As a 39 year old, don't think the next woman you see/speak to you have to instantly marry. I'd rather someone stay single or wait a while to find the one rather than marry someone cuz you're getting older and have to find someone only to be miserable.

Just try to enjoy the good in life and embrace what comes to you. I don't expect these words to help but I figure I would contribute considering we're going through the same.