I'm an a-hole. I sort of cussed out a Marine Colonel (allegedly).

My wife screams at me that a man is coming through our back gate and into our yard to retrieve his golf ball. The problem is that the ball he took was not his. It was one of mine. He got away but I told his playing partner to tell his fricking buddy he just came into my yard and took my ball. He replied something like, "my fricking buddy is the Marine Colonel in charge of the entire Gulf Coast blah blah blah".... He wanted to fight me. I told him to frick off and went back inside.

I don't give a shite, man. He may be a colonel, but he's still a trespasser and a thief.

Update: Went out a little while later and there were two like-new Titleists in the same spot. Apology accepted, I guess.