re: If you want to kill yourself, friggin call someone first. Please.

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There was no talking him out of it although we didn't know he'd do it. It was their time to check out. Their numbers got punched. That's all it is

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I've taken a sort of similar line of thinking. Sometimes its a heart attack that takes you out, sometimes its cancer and sometimes its dark thoughts and life situations that won't go away. Doesn't mean you can't seek treatment for those things but also sometimes it also just your time to go.

It's rough to explain to someone the state of mind to even contemplate it, there are obviously differences but I cannot imagine anyone would approach suicide trivially unless there was some actual delusion/psychosis.

My father committed suicide, and as a result I've personally dealt with thoughts along those lines since I can remember. I do believe that other factors come into play, but even subconsciously as a child I believe influenced my thoughts on it. Over time other traumas compound, toss in substance abuse and that is not a good recipe.

Only by the grace of God have I made it this far, and I would never want to put any of my family through that. My father's choice was his own and he had his reasons (though I will never understand), there's a combination of resentment and sadness for me but I don't want to put that on others.

Can't imagine what all the thought process is to get to that point but I think the idea of talking to someone about it when you get to the point of actually taking your own life doesn't make sense to that person anymore. My godfather took his life a few years ago. He had obviously planned it long in advance, and had been depressed for much longer than that, although there was absolutely zero outward sign of an issue. He lived a couple of hours away and when my dad and I drove over the next day, the amount of planning he had done was insane. He had every single financial document labeled, packaged, and laid out in his bedroom for his wife and kids (all adults), handwritten letters to not only all of his family but to hoards of friends, gifts for many of them, detailed wishlist of what he wanted for his funeral, the list goes on. In this guy's case, I think he had settled on this long ago and found comfort in the fact that he was going to do it and was going to do his best to still try and take care of everyone. By pure happenstance, I actually called him about work stuff the morning of the day he killed himself, and it was very spooky in retrospect how upbeat and happy he was on that call that day. At certain times he was kind of hard to talk to and I wonder if that didn't coincide him feeling more or less depressed.

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People kill themselves not because they are in pain, but because they truly believe the people they love are better off without them

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Was going to post the same.

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They are nearly always wrong, and that’s why your advice to reach out for help is so important, but try not to frame this in your mind as a selfish act, when your friend, wrongly but almost certainly, viewed it as a selfless one. Sorry you’re dealing with this though, mate. shite sucks.

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Well said.

Sorry OP for the loss.

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The Trump/Elon administration will eventually pass a ban on working from home.

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elon will absolutely aim to end it in the federal government

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Interestingly enough, I'm dealing with kind of a similar situation. A friend of mine killed himself a couple weeks back and his wife/parents have not mentioned anything about it anywhere. How long do you wait before starting to discuss it publicly/on social media to at least begin getting the word out? Also bear in mind, I don't really know anyone in his family. Was a high school buddy.

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Why would parents feel the need to broadcast it on social media? It's kind of their right to/not to do so don't you think?

Regardless, sorry for your friend and his family. Tough situation all around

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Very interesting how wildly different people handle death. I fall closer to the slot you're conveying but say my wife and a lot of her family are completely opposite and have a hard time digesting any death even a dog.

Wonder if it's genetics, faith community, or just the things you had to go through in your upbringing.


But either way I'm sure if we had to place blame with your brothers situation, bet it was a woman's fault huh?

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Definitely has to do with my life in how I deal with it.

Part woman's fault.

Anger and confusion are common reactions to a suicide. Every human instinct fights for our survival. Suicide goes against all human instincts so you should not be able to understand it.

My younger brother committed suicide 11 years ago.I can tell you for the
last 6 months of his life he went from being the life of the party to someone
we couldn`t recognize from a personality standpoint. A month and a half
before he died our family had him admitted to a psych ward at the hospital.
He got some treatment and was let out.Unfortunitly the demons weren`t cured. I believe after living through this the brain ,like the heart ,liver, kidneys,
stop functioning and unless you get the correct medication to fix the chemical
imbalance that causes this then your ability of thinking clearly and sanely
is impossible.All of my brothers thoughts and actions were what his brain
told him to do.
At the point he decided to actually kill himself his mind wasn`t thinking
of anything but what he did,in his mind things were hopeless.My mom and
I both talked to him tried to comfort him his mind wasnt having it.
At his funeral many of his friends told me how mad they were with why
didn`t he reach out or call and I told them in his mental state it wouldn`t
have helped,believe me we tried.I was never mad at him because I saw
first hand what he was going through and we didn`t have enough time
to find the right meds that would have worked.He was mentally ill and
couldn`t overcome it.