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Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:07 am to Ssubba
Either way you look at it, you're screwed.
First, every decent runner I ever did a feature story on said they couldn't make it one time around a football track (1/4 of a mile) when they first started running. As in, they couldn't keep running for even 1/4 mile at first.
That said, since you've never run, I wouldn't "practice" in any way, shape, or form. You don't have the time to get in shape and get ready for even a 5K.
If you're going to do it, just take your chances. You'd be too sore otherwise, and you'd also realize what a HUGE mistake you made with your lie if you try any running beforehand.
You just don't show up and run a 5K in under 30 minutes if you've never run before. Walking at a brisk pace takes about 15 minutes a mile and you are going to crap out quickly on your running ability.
At least when it is over you'll have a little respect for what it takes to even be a very novice runner.
First, every decent runner I ever did a feature story on said they couldn't make it one time around a football track (1/4 of a mile) when they first started running. As in, they couldn't keep running for even 1/4 mile at first.
That said, since you've never run, I wouldn't "practice" in any way, shape, or form. You don't have the time to get in shape and get ready for even a 5K.
If you're going to do it, just take your chances. You'd be too sore otherwise, and you'd also realize what a HUGE mistake you made with your lie if you try any running beforehand.
You just don't show up and run a 5K in under 30 minutes if you've never run before. Walking at a brisk pace takes about 15 minutes a mile and you are going to crap out quickly on your running ability.
At least when it is over you'll have a little respect for what it takes to even be a very novice runner.
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:09 am to LarryDavid
quote:
Unless you are missing a foot you should be able to walk it in that time
Google is telling me that a 'fast walking pace' is 45 minutes. You guys are trying to give me false confidence.
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:10 am to Darth_Vader
quote:
Just make a blowjob bet with her on your time. If you finish under 29 minutes, she swallows, if you finish over that time you finish on her tits. Either way you get a blowjob out of it.
Why are you thinking about blowjobs aren’t you like 40?
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:14 am to el Gaucho
As others have said, I think trying to stay with her is your best bet. It’ll give you the motivation to keep going when you mentally feel like you can’t anymore (probably around the 3/4 mile mark). If you told her 29 minutes, she’s obviously not expecting you to be some incredible runner, so you struggling throughout shouldn’t be a problem.
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:16 am to Ssubba
quote:
Google is telling me that a 'fast walking pace' is 45 minutes. You guys are trying to give me false confidence.
You can't fast walk 5 kilometers in 29 minutes. Anybody who is saying that in this thread is full of shite.
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:17 am to Ssubba
quote:
You guys are trying to give me false confidence.
Well of course, we need you to follow through and provide a report on how well it went
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:17 am to Ssubba
I don't know why she would be impressed because 29 minutes ain't fast for a 5K but, at least you didn't say something like 22 minutes or less.
This post was edited on 8/13/19 at 11:21 am
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:20 am to Ssubba
You should be able to run that time easily. In fact, run circles around her the whole time taunting her with things like "hurry slow poke" and "you run like a girl".
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:21 am to Ssubba
Yeah, a fast (non-competitive) walking pace is 15:00/mi.
Some of these chuckleheads haven't been off their sofa in 20 years.
Then, you've got the "professional" runners telling you that a sub 7:00 mi is easy.
Truth lies somewhere in the middle, which is where you'll laying with her if you can pull this off.
Some of these chuckleheads haven't been off their sofa in 20 years.
Then, you've got the "professional" runners telling you that a sub 7:00 mi is easy.
Truth lies somewhere in the middle, which is where you'll laying with her if you can pull this off.
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:29 am to LarryDavid
quote:
First, every decent runner I ever did a feature story on said they couldn't make it one time around a football track (1/4 of a mile) when they first started running. As in, they couldn't keep running for even 1/4 mile at first.
Any person that’s not morbidly obese and under the age of 40 should be able to get up and run at least a sub 12 minute mile with little to no experience. I’m not buying this at all.
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:34 am to BabyTac
quote:
Running less than a 10 minute mile pace should be easily doable at any age
frick you, aight?
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:34 am to Ssubba
Just skip it and then tell her you were on a late call manning a teen suicide hotline....you already have the lying part down. Or...just show up to the run with a puppy. The topic about your (lack of) running will never be brought up. If she doesnt dig it some other girl will ....which will probably retroactively cause the original girl to dig it.
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:39 am to Ssubba
Jesus that’s slow as frick
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:40 am to fallguy_1978
quote:
You better sprain your ankle baw.
What a stupid statement...
...pulled hamstring is the obvious answer. She will be looking for swelling on the sprained ankle...muscle pulls leave little to no evidence.
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:53 am to Ssubba
quote:
Google is telling me that a 'fast walking pace' is 45 minutes. You guys are trying to give me false confidence.
And you can bet it will ve balls f'ing hot!
Send us a pic of you showing up in all new running attire, including $145 shoes, and then the post race blisters because shoes arent broken in.
Knee hi white socks will seal the deal
Posted on 8/13/19 at 11:57 am to Ssubba
Question: how fat are you?
This post was edited on 8/13/19 at 11:58 am
Posted on 8/13/19 at 12:03 pm to Ssubba
just go for it. Report back if you puke.
Posted on 8/13/19 at 12:04 pm to LarryDavid
quote:
First, every decent runner I ever did a feature story on said they couldn't make it one time around a football track (1/4 of a mile) when they first started running. As in, they couldn't keep running for even 1/4 mile at first.
this is utter horseshite 
Posted on 8/13/19 at 12:05 pm to Ssubba
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/24/21 at 4:19 pm
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