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How to Make Homemade Toilet Paper

Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:42 am
Posted by blueridgeTiger
Granbury, TX
Member since Jun 2004
22268 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:42 am
If any of you baws are worried about a potential run on TP stocks, you may want to bookmark this thread:

What you need:

? 8 – 10 sheets of newspapers or a stack of magazine pages/copy papers
? A standard bucket (5-gallon)
? Water
? A heating pot
? Handfuls of grass and leaves
? Spoon (preferably metal)
? Baby oil
? Rolling pin
? Scissors
? Rubber hammer
? Wooden board
? Heavyweight items – cast steel or iron balls
? Bath towels (preferably two)



Instructions:

? First, fill the bucket with water and soak the newspaper or copy paper in it. Wait for a few minutes until the ink is released from the paper. Please note that all the ink will not fade away and that’s all right. Once most of the ink is disappeared, take the paper out of the bucket.

? Now, add the leaves and grass in the pot. Doing so will help the paper fibers stick together. Fill the pot with water until the entire paper is fully soaked in.

? Heat the pot and let the ingredients simmer for an hour or so.

? Bring it to a boil for at least 25 – 30 minutes to ensure the mixture turns into a thick pulp. Add more water if required and remove the foam with a metal spoon on sight.

? Remove from the stove and drain maximum water. Let the pulp cool, making sure it doesn’t get dry.

? Place the pulp on the stove again and mix in four tablespoons of baby oil. This will stop the paper from becoming hard.

? Meanwhile, lay out the towel on a flat surface and spread the pulp mixture onto the towel.

? Flatten out the pulp with a rolling pulp until it is thin and smooth.

? In case of any small knobs, straighten out with the rubber hammer.

? Now place another towel over the flat pulp and the wooden board on top.

? Place heavyweight items on top of the board for about half an hour.

? After half an hour, remove the weights and board and place the bottom towel on top. Make sure to flip it over first and put the dry side on top of the pulp.

? Let it dry out in the sun, and once dried, cut it into strips and use it!

You see, how easy it is to make homemade toilet paper! It’s one of the simplest DIY household items that you can make and compensate for the toilet paper shortage.



DIY TP
Posted by LegendInMyMind
Member since Apr 2019
75080 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:43 am to
fricking leaves, man. Just use leaves!
Posted by GEAUXT
Member since Nov 2007
30509 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:43 am to
Are you asking a bunch of questions?
Posted by Hangover Haven
Metry
Member since Oct 2013
33574 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:46 am to
Eat the corn, shite the corn, use the cob to wipe your arse...

Posted by ezride25
Constitutional Republic
Member since Nov 2008
26551 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:46 am to
The only problem is that finding a newspaper is more difficult than finding TP during covid.
Posted by Mr Personality
Bangkok
Member since Mar 2014
27364 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:47 am to
You don’t have a bidet, baw?
Posted by RummelTiger
Official TD Sauces Club Member
Member since Aug 2004
93607 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:47 am to
Get in car.
Drive to store.
Pick up TP.
Pay for TP.
Place TP on holder.

Done.

Posted by The Torch
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
29527 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:47 am to
My old arse papaw used a corn cob
Posted by baldona
Florida
Member since Feb 2016
24192 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:47 am to
What's newspaper?
Posted by LegendInMyMind
Member since Apr 2019
75080 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:47 am to
quote:

You don’t have a bidet, baw?

Got a 25' water hose ran through the window. Does that count?
Posted by northshorebamaman
Mackinac Island
Member since Jul 2009
38327 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:48 am to
You only need one square if you wipe your arse with your finger and then wipe your finger with the square.



Posted by Nicky Parrish
Member since Apr 2016
7098 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:49 am to
My grandmother once said they would use corn cobs
Two red ones and a white one
When I asked why the colors, she said a red one first, then the white one to see if you need the other red one
Posted by jmarto1
Houma, LA/ Las Vegas, NV
Member since Mar 2008
38694 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:49 am to
I'll hose my arse of in the backyard and wave to my neighbor
Posted by jatilen
Member since May 2020
13608 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 10:56 am to
Eddie Murphy told me this works well too:

Posted by StanSmith
Member since May 2018
1106 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 11:00 am to
Who needs toilet paper when you have The Advocate.
Posted by lsugolfredman
Member since Jun 2005
1941 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 11:03 am to
Removed
This post was edited on 10/5/20 at 11:06 am
Posted by TheNolaClap
Jersey Shore (not fist pump)
Member since Jun 2012
1526 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 11:06 am to
I prefer the 3 shell method
Posted by idlewatcher
Planet Arium
Member since Jan 2012
96848 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 11:14 am to
I use poison ivy leaves myself.
Posted by DiamondDog
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2019
13233 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 11:16 am to
quote:

My grandmother once said they would use corn cobs
Two red ones and a white one
When I asked why the colors, she said a red one first, then the white one to see if you need the other red one



Same thing my great grandfather said. Two red and one white. Two reds to wipe. A white to check
Posted by beerJeep
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2016
38439 posts
Posted on 10/5/20 at 11:19 am to
Or just shite in the shower and stomp it down the drain
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