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How long did it take your parents to get over their divorce?
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:13 am
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:13 am
My parents got divorced 12 years ago when they were 59. My mom is still not over it.
She keeps track of what my dad is up to. Probes me and my family for information about him. Still speaks negatively of him often. Has manifested bad things in the past he never did. Had discussions with my kids about their issues and how "bad" he was to her. Basically still obsessed with him.
She needs to see a therapist and I've requested that she go see one several times, but she doesn't want to admit that any of it is a problem and actually go.
I just don't now how to deal with her anymore.
She keeps track of what my dad is up to. Probes me and my family for information about him. Still speaks negatively of him often. Has manifested bad things in the past he never did. Had discussions with my kids about their issues and how "bad" he was to her. Basically still obsessed with him.
She needs to see a therapist and I've requested that she go see one several times, but she doesn't want to admit that any of it is a problem and actually go.
I just don't now how to deal with her anymore.
This post was edited on 5/10/22 at 11:14 am
50
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:14 am to NATidefan
My dad didn't get over his first divorce until his second divorce.
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to NATidefan
quote:
How long did it take your parents to get over their divorce?
I wasn't raised in a trailer park or public housing
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to NATidefan
63 years...
Oh Wait, they're not divorced...
Oh Wait, they're not divorced...
This post was edited on 5/10/22 at 11:30 am
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to NATidefan
Six months or so because we got back together.
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to NATidefan
My parents got divorced 25 years ago and my mom still gets visibly upset when they’re in the same room together the few times a year they have to be
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to NATidefan
I’m not a broken home kid
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to NATidefan
They got divorced for like 3 years then remarried so 
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:16 am to NATidefan
My Papa ran off on my granny in 1958 and she still wouldn't come to the same reunion as him 50 years later
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:16 am to NATidefan
quote:
I just don't now how to deal with her anymore.
Gotta start setting boundaries. If she starts bringing him up, particularly in a bad light, walk away from the conversation or change the subject. Don't give her info about him if he asks. Just say that's not my business.
And sit down and have the conversation with her that you don't want to talk about Dad with her. And that if it continues you'll have to start cutting off communication with her.
Real talk. She's going to keep doing it as long as you keep feeding her shite.
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:16 am to NATidefan
Get your mom a boyfriend. Or a vibrator. She obviously needs some Dick I’d she’s still so pissy about your dad 12 years later in her 70s
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:17 am to NATidefan
I'm lucky enough to never dealt with this from my parents. But I imagine getting divorced after being married 30+ years leads to a ton of built up anger that she's letting out now. I'd think it's hard to let go of someone who's been around you that long. Therapy should be a no brainer here imo. Sucks that she doesn't want to get herself some help
This post was edited on 5/10/22 at 11:18 am
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:17 am to BluegrassBelle
Beat advice here. Would you allow a stranger to disrespect one of your parents? Why allow the other to?
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:17 am to NATidefan
its been 41 years and my dad is still not over it. My mom was apparently over it 43 years ago if you catch my drift. Dad remarried and has been happy for 30 + years. Mom is on her 5th or so marriage or live in boyfriend. You figure out who was the problem.
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:18 am to NATidefan
How long were they married?
Women are nuts but If you build your life with someone and raise kids for 2-3 decades and get divorced, I bet you never get over it and I totally understand that
Women are nuts but If you build your life with someone and raise kids for 2-3 decades and get divorced, I bet you never get over it and I totally understand that
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:18 am to NATidefan
quote:
My mom
there are rules around this place.
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:19 am to NATidefan
quote:I was fortunate enough to not have trashy parents
How long did it take your parents to get over their divorce?
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:20 am to yellowfin
quote:
I’m not a broken home kid
I had the same thought in my head for 27 years and then boom I got called to my parents house for a talk. After 29 years of marriage my Dad was calling it quits.
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:20 am to BluegrassBelle
quote:
Gotta start setting boundaries. If she starts bringing him up, particularly in a bad light, walk away from the conversation or change the subject. Don't give her info about him if he asks. Just say that's not my business.
And sit down and have the conversation with her that you don't want to talk about Dad with her. And that if it continues you'll have to start cutting off communication with her.
Real talk. She's going to keep doing it as long as you keep feeding her shite.
I did this about three years ago and have repeatedly asked her not to bring him up or try to have discussions about him.
That's when she started probing my wife and kids about him.
Got in a huge fight with her about a month ago about her still probing and talking negatively about him in front of all of us.
Pretty much have cut off communication with her since.
This post was edited on 5/10/22 at 11:21 am
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:21 am to NATidefan
Welp, I'm not trash. 48 years old an d parents have been faithfully married for 41 years.
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