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How long did it take your parents to get over their divorce?

Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:13 am
Posted by NATidefan
Two hours North of Birmingham
Member since Dec 2008
36065 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:13 am
My parents got divorced 12 years ago when they were 59. My mom is still not over it.

She keeps track of what my dad is up to. Probes me and my family for information about him. Still speaks negatively of him often. Has manifested bad things in the past he never did. Had discussions with my kids about their issues and how "bad" he was to her. Basically still obsessed with him.

She needs to see a therapist and I've requested that she go see one several times, but she doesn't want to admit that any of it is a problem and actually go.

I just don't now how to deal with her anymore.

This post was edited on 5/10/22 at 11:14 am
Posted by squid_hunt
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2021
11272 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:14 am to
My dad didn't get over his first divorce until his second divorce.
Posted by Mingo Was His NameO
Brooklyn
Member since Mar 2016
25455 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to
quote:

How long did it take your parents to get over their divorce?


I wasn't raised in a trailer park or public housing
Posted by Hangover Haven
Metry
Member since Oct 2013
26566 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to
63 years...

Oh Wait, they're not divorced...
This post was edited on 5/10/22 at 11:30 am
Posted by chinhoyang
Member since Jun 2011
23406 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to
Six months or so because we got back together.
Posted by timbo247
Member since Aug 2008
539 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to
My parents got divorced 25 years ago and my mom still gets visibly upset when they’re in the same room together the few times a year they have to be
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97640 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to
I’m not a broken home kid
Posted by beerJeep
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2016
35031 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:15 am to
They got divorced for like 3 years then remarried so
Posted by Gaggle
Member since Oct 2021
5619 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:16 am to
My Papa ran off on my granny in 1958 and she still wouldn't come to the same reunion as him 50 years later
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
99040 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:16 am to
quote:

I just don't now how to deal with her anymore.


Gotta start setting boundaries. If she starts bringing him up, particularly in a bad light, walk away from the conversation or change the subject. Don't give her info about him if he asks. Just say that's not my business.

And sit down and have the conversation with her that you don't want to talk about Dad with her. And that if it continues you'll have to start cutting off communication with her.

Real talk. She's going to keep doing it as long as you keep feeding her shite.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124227 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:16 am to
Get your mom a boyfriend. Or a vibrator. She obviously needs some Dick I’d she’s still so pissy about your dad 12 years later in her 70s
Posted by Hazelnut
Member since May 2011
16433 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:17 am to
I'm lucky enough to never dealt with this from my parents. But I imagine getting divorced after being married 30+ years leads to a ton of built up anger that she's letting out now. I'd think it's hard to let go of someone who's been around you that long. Therapy should be a no brainer here imo. Sucks that she doesn't want to get herself some help
This post was edited on 5/10/22 at 11:18 am
Posted by dyslexiateechur
Louisiana
Member since Jan 2009
32128 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:17 am to
Beat advice here. Would you allow a stranger to disrespect one of your parents? Why allow the other to?
Posted by lsuCJ5
Holly Springs, NC
Member since Nov 2012
962 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:17 am to
its been 41 years and my dad is still not over it. My mom was apparently over it 43 years ago if you catch my drift. Dad remarried and has been happy for 30 + years. Mom is on her 5th or so marriage or live in boyfriend. You figure out who was the problem.
Posted by Pettifogger
Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
Member since Feb 2012
79212 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:18 am to
How long were they married?

Women are nuts but If you build your life with someone and raise kids for 2-3 decades and get divorced, I bet you never get over it and I totally understand that
Posted by Chad504boy
4 posts
Member since Feb 2005
166264 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:18 am to
quote:

My mom


there are rules around this place.
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
140462 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:19 am to
quote:

How long did it take your parents to get over their divorce?
I was fortunate enough to not have trashy parents
Posted by TexasTiger89
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2005
24293 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:20 am to
quote:

I’m not a broken home kid



I had the same thought in my head for 27 years and then boom I got called to my parents house for a talk. After 29 years of marriage my Dad was calling it quits.
Posted by NATidefan
Two hours North of Birmingham
Member since Dec 2008
36065 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:20 am to
quote:

Gotta start setting boundaries. If she starts bringing him up, particularly in a bad light, walk away from the conversation or change the subject. Don't give her info about him if he asks. Just say that's not my business.

And sit down and have the conversation with her that you don't want to talk about Dad with her. And that if it continues you'll have to start cutting off communication with her.

Real talk. She's going to keep doing it as long as you keep feeding her shite.


I did this about three years ago and have repeatedly asked her not to bring him up or try to have discussions about him.

That's when she started probing my wife and kids about him.

Got in a huge fight with her about a month ago about her still probing and talking negatively about him in front of all of us.

Pretty much have cut off communication with her since.
This post was edited on 5/10/22 at 11:21 am
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
103070 posts
Posted on 5/10/22 at 11:21 am to
Welp, I'm not trash. 48 years old an d parents have been faithfully married for 41 years.
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