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re: How long did it take you to know your spouse was marriage material? Study says 172 days
Posted on 12/9/25 at 7:49 am to dyslexiateechur
Posted on 12/9/25 at 7:49 am to dyslexiateechur
I was 17 when we met, married at 20.
In terms of her being “marriage material”, pretty quick, way less than a year. Probably a few months, even at that age.
But for me to actually start thinking about us being married, probably two years.
I guess what I’m saying is “you know before you know”, if that makes any sense.
In terms of her being “marriage material”, pretty quick, way less than a year. Probably a few months, even at that age.
But for me to actually start thinking about us being married, probably two years.
I guess what I’m saying is “you know before you know”, if that makes any sense.
0
Posted on 12/9/25 at 7:50 am to dyslexiateechur
It took a while for me to mature enough to realize it. But i think thats ok since we started dating when we were 14. 35 years and 1 kid later.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 7:51 am to dyslexiateechur
Took me 6 months to seal the deal the first time. In your lat3 20's thats enough right there. Now, that was 20 years ago.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 7:53 am to dyslexiateechur
Hhhmm, I dated my wife for 5 years. Did a full long term test drive i guess.
About to be 25 years married, so guess it worked.
About to be 25 years married, so guess it worked.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 7:56 am to Septiger
quote:
You can’t possibly know enough about someone in 6 months to decide you want to spend the rest of your life with them.
That’s plenty of time unless all you two are doing together is staring at each other’s private parts.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 7:59 am to dyslexiateechur
What a stupid thread. When you know, you know.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:00 am to dyslexiateechur
I agree. Chemistry with a person is instantaneous, in my opinion. You either have it or you don't. I was downright school girl giddy when my husband asked me out lol! FWIW, I still feel this way today.
Then you size up whether they fit with your values, habits, general lifestyle, etc. through the course of dating. I knew very quickly with my husband. Married 22 years and together 25.
Then you size up whether they fit with your values, habits, general lifestyle, etc. through the course of dating. I knew very quickly with my husband. Married 22 years and together 25.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:03 am to dyslexiateechur
Assuming we mean traditional dating between employed adults living in the same city and seeing each other multiple times per week, then yes, an average of six months seems about right to get a strong sense whether the other person is potential marriage material for you.
But it takes considerably longer to vet the person, give time for issues to arise, cracks to emerge, incompatibilities to surface, etc. Even assuming full-time traditional dating, IMO it's a bad idea to get engaged until you've been dating for more than a year, and no quick engagements, give yourselves at least several months from engagement to wedding ceremony.
But it takes considerably longer to vet the person, give time for issues to arise, cracks to emerge, incompatibilities to surface, etc. Even assuming full-time traditional dating, IMO it's a bad idea to get engaged until you've been dating for more than a year, and no quick engagements, give yourselves at least several months from engagement to wedding ceremony.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:04 am to dyslexiateechur
We married within a month of knowing each other and it’s been a struggle to stay married, but 35 years later we’re still here.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:11 am to tigerinexile
Good job sticking with it because divorce is trashy
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:14 am to dyslexiateechur
Day f’n 1 for my wife. It may or may not have taken her a lot longer
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:15 am to SallysHuman
I think both of us were a little jaded when we started dating bc we both had come out of years long relationships. We casually dated for 6 months before realizing there might be more there and began dating exclusively. Probably took another 6 months from there for us to “know.” Coming up on 22 years together this spring.
This post was edited on 12/9/25 at 8:28 am
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:15 am to dyslexiateechur
You don't really know until you have kids whether or not you made the right choice.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:21 am to LSUGrrrl
quote:
Coming up on 22 years together this spring.
I'm glad y'all didn't stay jaded... marriage is awesome overall.
We didn't have a chance to be jaded, he was my first serious boyfriend and I was his second or third serious girlfriend.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:26 am to SallysHuman
quote:
marriage is awesome overall.
It is, indeed
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:28 am to dyslexiateechur
3.5 months
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:36 am to dyslexiateechur
My wife and I were friends before we ever had our first date. I (and our friends) already knew we were a perfect match. In fact, I was so certain she was “the one” that I hesitated to take the plunge and ask her out on a date because I knew as soon as I did, my days of being a bachelor were done.
I finally asked her out at the Iron Bowl in 1996.
Our first date was the following weekend.
We were engaged before Christmas.
She was moved in by New Years.
We were married the following July.
We’ve now been married for 28 years a going strong.
Here’s the bottom line, when you know, you know. And when you know, there is no point in wasting time. And here is how I knew, I knew that no matter where I was or what I was doing, it was better with her. That was how I felt in the fall of 1996 and is even more true in the fall of 2025. It’s as simple as that.
I finally asked her out at the Iron Bowl in 1996.
Our first date was the following weekend.
We were engaged before Christmas.
She was moved in by New Years.
We were married the following July.
We’ve now been married for 28 years a going strong.
Here’s the bottom line, when you know, you know. And when you know, there is no point in wasting time. And here is how I knew, I knew that no matter where I was or what I was doing, it was better with her. That was how I felt in the fall of 1996 and is even more true in the fall of 2025. It’s as simple as that.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:49 am to dyslexiateechur
She claims after a couple of dates for her, probably around the same time frame for me. It’s been a long time ago.
During our engagement, after getting to know and appreciate my wife-to-be, each of my three sisters independently gently asked her if she was absolutely sure that she wanted to marry me.
During our engagement, after getting to know and appreciate my wife-to-be, each of my three sisters independently gently asked her if she was absolutely sure that she wanted to marry me.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 8:56 am to soccerfüt
The study is about right. Six to twelve months for me. We were both coming out of divorces and were in no big hurry to get married again, so we were together 4 years before we got married.
Posted on 12/9/25 at 9:00 am to dyslexiateechur
Problem with marriage is that people change. I am no way near who I was at 21, or 31. Two may fit as young adults but grow apart as life unfolds around them.
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