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re: How do you deal with the guilt of living far away from your aging parents?
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:16 pm to philly444
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:16 pm to philly444
We were lucky enough to have my folks move close to us.
And my wife’s mother lives with us as well.
Most dudes probably think that’s crazy. But outside of a few instances it’s pretty awesome. My mother in law has a better life here than in her native country and that makes my wife very happy.
And my wife’s mother lives with us as well.
Most dudes probably think that’s crazy. But outside of a few instances it’s pretty awesome. My mother in law has a better life here than in her native country and that makes my wife very happy.
This post was edited on 3/7/24 at 3:40 am
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Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:17 pm to philly444
Only reason I still stick around in shithole Louisiana
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:21 pm to fastlane
quote:
If my parents weren’t alive I’d be living in Montana.
Pretty much.
My life's dream is to move out west, but I haven't because I know that it'd negatively affect my relationship with my family. They would support me for sure, but I would miss out on so much of the last 3rd of their lives and I just wouldn't be able to live with that.
However, no one should feel bad about moving wherever they want, because its your life, and you deserve to be happy with whatever you decide to do in good faith.
This post was edited on 3/6/24 at 4:23 pm
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:22 pm to philly444
Sucks but it’s just one of those things. 
If you’re happy and it’s worth it then that’s the best you can do.
No ragrets.
If you’re happy and it’s worth it then that’s the best you can do. No ragrets.
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:25 pm to philly444
I have this dilemma as well. My parents are aging and they can't keep up with the maintenance on an already old home. I see assisted living coming in the not too distant future.
I struggle because though I'm only an hour away now, I don't want to raise a family in Louisiana, and I feel bad about moving further at a time I feel they need me around the most.
I struggle because though I'm only an hour away now, I don't want to raise a family in Louisiana, and I feel bad about moving further at a time I feel they need me around the most.
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:26 pm to philly444
I'm glad you posted this. I've lived within 2 hours of my parents my whole life. I was offered a job 1300 miles away and it is almost too good to pass up, but I'm struggling with leaving my parents. I'm not married and my moms youngest, so that males it even harder..
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:27 pm to philly444
Do they have a support system in Louisiana such as other family?
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:27 pm to philly444
My parents realize living out of state provides a much better quality of life. They are very supportive and encouraged it because they want the best for me.
I see them 4-5 times a year for 1-2weeks at a time
I see them 4-5 times a year for 1-2weeks at a time
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:29 pm to philly444
Right now they're still self sufficient but I'm planning on moving back soon to help usher them to the grave. The trend of working remotely will probably help some in this situation.
Another concern is their house. They bought a house with stairs to get in and out of and all of the bedrooms are on the second level. That's going to be a problem down the line. And then they filled it with a bunch of junk which is another problem. The idea of downsizing is distressing to them.
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:39 pm to philly444
I moved off for a job right after college and am still 3 hrs away. They won’t move closer to me because they’re settled in and I can’t move because I would uproot the whole family. It sucks…I just try to visit when I can.
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:42 pm to philly444
They know where I live and are grown arse adults who can move here anytime they want. I'd feel 10x more guilty about moving my kids away from here to go back there.
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:42 pm to philly444
My aging parents live out of state and are declining. Oh and my sister who lives close to them won’t speak to them or let them see their young grandkids. 
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:46 pm to FahQGump
quote:
i was offered a job 1300 miles away and it is almost too good to pass up, but I'm struggling with leaving my parents. I'm not married and my moms youngest, so that males it even harder.
Take the job…. How old are you ? I dont know you, but i can almost promise youll regret it later if you dont take the job…. And the reasoning you gave that ur the youngest and single, to me that almost makes it more “acceptable”- terrible word for what im trying to say but hopefully you get my meaning.. in most families (painting with a really broad brush)- it’s usually married females who help the most with aging parents .. … Anyone who claims to love you will want to see you happy .
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:47 pm to philly444
Because everyone has to live their own life. I needed to move to accomplish what I want in life.
In many years, I hope my son does what he needs to do as well.
Not saying it’s good or bad, but I’ve found Louisiana people tend to be very home bound.
In many years, I hope my son does what he needs to do as well.
Not saying it’s good or bad, but I’ve found Louisiana people tend to be very home bound.
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:49 pm to SquatchDawg
quote:
I moved off for a job right after college and am still 3 hrs away. They won’t move closer to me because they’re settled in and I can’t move because I would uproot the whole family. It sucks…I just try to visit when I can.
Dude.. 3 hrs is literally almost nothing.. like half the distance of Houston-NOLA, which is a hop and a skip.. 3 hrs, you could do a whole round trip visit in just a day .
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:51 pm to tylerlsu2008
quote:
Because everyone has to live their own life. I needed to move to accomplish what I want in life. In many years, I hope my son does what he needs to do as well. Not saying it’s good or bad, but I’ve found Louisiana people tend to be very home bound.
Careful using logic here.. most will guilt trip you becuase they are thinking emotionally and not rationally .
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:51 pm to tylerlsu2008
It’s never that easy as just saying “live your life”
My parents had a very unfortunate event happen that ruined them financially so it isn’t like they can move somewhere nice nor would they want to at the age of 83.
I’m going to plan on my kids never having to make the choice to stay nearby when my wife and I get old.
My parents had a very unfortunate event happen that ruined them financially so it isn’t like they can move somewhere nice nor would they want to at the age of 83.
I’m going to plan on my kids never having to make the choice to stay nearby when my wife and I get old.
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:52 pm to BK Lounge
I know…and I do. Still sucks though.
But thanks for the perspective.
But thanks for the perspective.
This post was edited on 3/6/24 at 4:52 pm
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:53 pm to philly444
ive been trying to convince mine to move closer to my moms brother that way theres a support system for them when shite hits the fan.
im away in louisiana for school and dont have any real intention in returning to my hometown since there are so many carpetbagging yankees moving in. my dad feels the same way and is looking to move out of state to somewhere less crowded.
im away in louisiana for school and dont have any real intention in returning to my hometown since there are so many carpetbagging yankees moving in. my dad feels the same way and is looking to move out of state to somewhere less crowded.
Posted on 3/6/24 at 4:53 pm to notiger1997
quote:
My parents had a very unfortunate event happen that ruined them financially
Madoff ?
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