re: How do you deal with the guilt of living far away from your aging parents?

Mine died before they got old.

I am that aging Dad. I moved the family to TX when the kids were 5 & 6. I retired to the Hill Country for a few years where my daughter settled. My son ironically wound up back in NOLA for a short time & I joined him to help open his business. Promised him 2 years. That was 12 years ago. Of course he is back in TX now along with his sister & step brother & sister. All have children, my grandchildren.

Don’t feel so guilty. I understand the feelings, but understand we each have to travel our own path. TX is there home. They are comfortable raising there families. They understand that ole Dad just could not be at peace there. We talk often, text more often & I visit three or four times a year. Until one of them takes the time to learn, someone has to cook T-Day :-)

My Dad & I were close, but in different places. To this day, I think he died never really understanding what I did professionally. So I could never go to him for advise or a consult. The day he passed, I never felt so alone. Took me a long time to accept that I was really on my own.

Enjoy and appreciate the time you get together, but know your parents get it & are so proud of what you are doing and your courage to travel your own path.

Wish I had the magic words to relieve your anguish.

If you can't make it work moving back, move them to you.

Joined in 1942, was a pilot

I lived in Louisiana my whole life. Lake charles. I was already taking care/living with my dad who had just had a stroke. Hurricane Laura FEMA and red cross moved us to Indiana. I didn't really like it and he didn't mind it, so I went on my own direction. Ive been in salt lake city since then. He died last year out there by his self. But, currently, I've settled out here in Utah. My whole rest of family all lives in SW Louisiana. I had major guilt about living so far, but my family has indicated it's not a problem living so far away. I did have that guilt, though. Everybody's getting older. So it's hard,bud. Everything is a flight back there. Whenever

I left BR for Dallas when I was 19 and never thought about moving back. I am an only child and there were hard times around holidays for the parents but I made the drive as often as I could. And that was pre-49 so it was highway 1 from Shreveport. The 2 roughest times were when the kids came along. Every vacation was spent in BR. Things rocked along until they got older and started spending time in hospitals. I went down there once a week for several years, flying into MSY. The thought that kept me sane was I had 2 families to take care of. For me that kept guilt to a minimum.

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They are Boomers. That's how.

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good one, mate

IMO, you should try to spend as much time as you can with aging parents. Don't leave any regrets when they are gone. Your children will see what you do and they will do the same when you are aging. That's my point of view.

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Parents are my best friends but I wanted to venture out of Louisiana.

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Hopefully you were able to take lots of insta pics

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When he retired, he moved to The Villages, FL

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I’d do the same if I had the money. Florida is miles ahead of anything LA and TX offer in terms of retirement. It’s not even close. The beach amenities, no taxation on social security and government pensions, no taxation on retirement savings, etc.

Ultimately, it all comes down to what you prioritize in life. If you come from a super tight knit family that has family gatherings every year, it’s going to be harder to move away. If you don’t put value on family or don’t even have a family at all, moving away is easier because you’re not attached to something.