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re: How do/did you “soak it up” with your kids? Time going fast with kids spin off.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 9:51 am to Salmon
Posted on 2/5/25 at 9:51 am to Salmon
quote:
So both me and my wife make an effort to do things alone with the kids individually.
This is a good one that we unintentionally do it sometimes, primarily with the older (more independent) and the younger (still completely dependent), so the middle gets the shite end of the stick again. Will need to start being more intentional, mainly so the middle child doesn't miss out on the one-on-one time.
1
Posted on 2/5/25 at 9:55 am to LSU Delirium
quote:
For example, we have “movie nights” with the kids and my wife spends half the movie texting or doom scrolling, despite me constantly calling her out on it. She’s “there” but not present, and I think she will regret that one day.
This describes my wife perfectly, and it's not just movie nights. If none of the kids are not actively interacting with her, she sees nothing wrong with grabbing the phone and locking in on the screen. Then gets frustrated with me because the kids have a much closer relationship with me and will almost always demand me over her when they want/need something. She used to make fun of me because I would always lose my phone in the house; but once the kids are home/awake (and as long as she is home), I do not need to see my phone until they are back in bed.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:06 am to Billy Blanks
quote:
People often say this. They say not to focus on work as much. But how do you actually “soak it up.” I feel like time still goes quickly even if you do all the things.
I feel like travel is one of the best ways as I can’t think of anything day to say that would stick out.
Empty nesters: what would you do if you could go back that you didn’t do? Or maybe something you did once and figured you’d get around to doing again and time ran out?
We are empty nesters, the youngest in his second year of college. Oldest graduated college last May.
I don't think we would do anything different, maybe an extra vacation here and there. We both were able to reduce our work schedule to have pick up from school and avoid daycare when they were young. Sacrifice money but more than worth it.
Once they were little older we volunteered to coach flag football and basketball teams. Wouldn't trade those days for anything. Yes, it can be a pain dealing with other parents but the closeness and bonding during those years was awesome.
We never missed an awards show, a band concert, and later with the young one high school basketball games. I still can't imagine your son or daughter playing a home basketball game on a Friday night and you choose to not be there because basketball isn't your thing. They may say they don't care but they do.
We had to learn a balance once they got into 9th-10th grades of being there and supporting and start letting them have their time, get part time jobs, and loosen the rope and let them make mistakes.
As far as soaking it up...When things are happening whether its a ballgame on a vacation, whatever, just be present. Take pics and videos... There's no slowing time down, it flies.
The oldest is now married and can't wait for some grandkids.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:09 am to Weekend Warrior79
We do it a lot with our preschooler since his little brothers soak up a lot of the time at home. We wanted to avoid a stark drop-off when they landed on the scene, and I think it's worked. He loves being a big brother and always wants them to come along.
We haven't really started yet, but I plan to take each boy on a trip by ourselves every year. Mostly small stuff, but work in a couple of bigger ones too.
I also know some dads who take one kid out to breakfast every week, and I think that's a good idea.
We haven't really started yet, but I plan to take each boy on a trip by ourselves every year. Mostly small stuff, but work in a couple of bigger ones too.
I also know some dads who take one kid out to breakfast every week, and I think that's a good idea.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:28 am to Billy Blanks
quote:
But how do you actually “soak it up.” I
Spend as much time as you can with them.
Play games, go to their sporting events, talk at dinner, etc.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:31 am to Billy Blanks
We homeschooled for their entire education. We went on many field trips and adventures alone and with organized homeschool groups. Both are doing well in college and are well adjusted socially. It still seems like they grew up too fast.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:34 am to Billy Blanks
Didn't read the whole thread but I have 4 kids aged 30-23. It's never about the big things, like the Disney trips that cost $7k+. It's the daily small things that matter. Evening meals together 5x a week with the tv off around a table. Sundays after church meal together. Drives to school in the morning( mine went to private school). Simple birthday celebrations always with candles and singing. Conversations about who "we" are as a family and "why" we live like we do at every opportunity. Using every event as an opportunity to reinforce positive values or explain why things aren't good for them. Early introduction of consequences for outright rebellion to authority. Taking a yearly family vacation and doing things with your kids like throwing a baseball in the yard after work. Being present at ball games etc.. IT's the routine daily occurrences of SMALL things that ultimately have the biggest effect on kids. Hugs and I love you's as often as you can.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:39 am to Billy Blanks
I quit my job which was 75% travel when my first was born and it worked out extremely well. If you can swing it I’d encourage anyone who travels frequently for work to do the same.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:41 am to Weekend Warrior79
quote:
This describes my wife perfectly, and it's not just movie nights. If none of the kids are not actively interacting with her, she sees nothing wrong with grabbing the phone and locking in on the screen
This is going to be bad in 10+ years for society, sorry that you're dealing with it, but glad that you recognize it. When I have my kids, I forget that I left my phone in the car for an hour, etc.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:44 am to Salmon
quote:
Do things with kids individually
It doesn't necessarily have to be anything special. It can just be a trip to the grocery store.
But kids act differently when it’s just you and them and no other siblings.
So both me and my wife make an effort to do things alone with the kids individually.
My kids are 2 & 4. I don’t get a ton of one-on-one time with either of them since their mom and I are divorced. The little bit of individual time I do get with them is great though and leaves me wanting more.
Any other single/divorced parents have tips for how you accomplished this? Or is it just take one to do something and leave the other with a babysitter/family member?
ETA: I have them 50% of the time, so plenty of time with both together. Just not much with either of them individually.
This post was edited on 2/5/25 at 11:21 am
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:49 am to LSU Delirium
Man, my girls are about to be 10, and my son a teenager. It's going way way to fast. My son and I really spend time together before he goes to bed just bs'ing, and I coach his lacrosse team.
One of my daughters like to skateboard and me go walking with her. The other one likes to do little science things. So I brought a frog home from our lab at school and we dissected it.
I just try to spend as much time as I can with them.
One of my daughters like to skateboard and me go walking with her. The other one likes to do little science things. So I brought a frog home from our lab at school and we dissected it.
I just try to spend as much time as I can with them.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:52 am to terriblegreen
quote:
My child is a senior in HS. I am close to her moving on to college and seeing her less, but I feel like I did not miss out on anything in her youth. I showed up to all events. I coached when she was little. We spent a ton of time together. Her mom and I divorced when she was 5. The next ten years it was pretty much just me and her. I tried to see her everyday even if it was just picking her up from school to take her home. We went on trips together. Fished and hunted together. I went on all travel sports events. I just made her the priority and it paid off. She's 18 now and could really do what she wants but I still see her daily and we still spend most weekends together. It's pretty cool.
This actually a legitimate, CSB Cool Story Bro
Way to be a good father to your girl
Posted on 2/5/25 at 10:59 am to Billy Blanks
I have 3 kids - 11 (girl), 9 and 5 (boys). I never felt like time was moving too fast until my daughter over the last 2 or 3 years. She has transformed into a mature, well mannered, mini-adult in what seems like overnight lol. I always felt like my kids were "babies" until she really started growing from 8/9 to where she is now. My 5 yo son is still like our little baby. It just doesn't seem like they will ever grow out of that, but now I see kind of when they do. Although I miss the little kid moments, it's also incredibly rewarding and enjoyable to see them grow up and turn into good people. I absolutely love to watch them learn and develop with school and their hobbies/sports etc. It's an awesome feeling.
As far as soaking it up - biggest thing is I have been a volunteer coach on all of their sports teams - soccer, basketball, etc. It's a great way to spend time with them and watch them develop socially.
With the younger ones I try and have a "never say no" policy - meaning if they ask me to go play basketball outside, ask me to read a story, ask me to push them on the swing, ask me to help them with something - I never say no, no matter how busy I am. Those moments are the ones you don't get back.
As far as soaking it up - biggest thing is I have been a volunteer coach on all of their sports teams - soccer, basketball, etc. It's a great way to spend time with them and watch them develop socially.
With the younger ones I try and have a "never say no" policy - meaning if they ask me to go play basketball outside, ask me to read a story, ask me to push them on the swing, ask me to help them with something - I never say no, no matter how busy I am. Those moments are the ones you don't get back.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 11:11 am to GreenRockTiger
quote:
is she hot? Pics?
How the hell does auto correct go from start by to Sonia?
Posted on 2/5/25 at 11:13 am to Billy Blanks
As simple as it sounds, we try to eat dinner together around the table at least 3x per week. No phones, just talk. Good conversations happen at the table.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 11:34 am to Weekend Warrior79
quote:
Just remember, it gets better, then worse, then better again, then a lot worse, then you should be good outside of random issues
I also have a 3 year old who is very "easy" in comparison
Posted on 2/5/25 at 11:36 am to Billy Blanks
Just be present. it's as simple as that.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 11:37 am to Billy Blanks
I am still WFH so I get to see the kids off to school and drop off my youngest at preschool.
I never really saw my dad in the mornings or was allowed to “bother” him after work when I was growing up.
I never really saw my dad in the mornings or was allowed to “bother” him after work when I was growing up.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 11:38 am to poochie
quote:
Just be present. it's as simple as that.
You probably mean that in a deeper sense but some could read it as being just physically present, so I’d say be present and engaging and interactive when appropriate.
Posted on 2/5/25 at 11:40 am to OysterPoBoy
quote:
Time is cruel. You can’t soak it up. It’s almost been 10 years since Covid. Every year is faster and faster.
quote:
OysterPoBoy
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