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re: Have your parents ever caught you doing anything sexual?
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:22 pm to DavidTheGnome
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:22 pm to DavidTheGnome
I got caught beating off.
If you didn't get caught beating off you just had a better hiding spot than me.
If you didn't get caught beating off you just had a better hiding spot than me.
1
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:26 pm to DavidTheGnome
I had to learn about deleting search histories the hard way back in the primitive days of internet porn.
Thankfully dad just basically laughed and said delete it before mom sees.
Also, when I was about 12 I was staying the weekend at my grandparents and had a Hustler I stole in my overnight bag. Sometime during the day my grandma washed all my clothes and put them neatly folded in the bag on top the magazine and nothing was ever said
Thankfully dad just basically laughed and said delete it before mom sees.
Also, when I was about 12 I was staying the weekend at my grandparents and had a Hustler I stole in my overnight bag. Sometime during the day my grandma washed all my clothes and put them neatly folded in the bag on top the magazine and nothing was ever said
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:27 pm to DavidTheGnome
What single question would break the Arky Board here?
Hint:
Hint:
quote:
Have your parents ever caught you doing anything sexual?
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:27 pm to CHEDBALLZ
One of the nuns caught me punching the clown at school and told me I was going to go blind if I didn’t stop.
I told her I’d stop when I needed glasses.
I told her I’d stop when I needed glasses.
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:27 pm to Loungefly85
quote:
I had to learn about deleting search histories the hard way back in the primitive days of internet porn.
Yep me too
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:28 pm to Martini
quote:
I told her I’d stop when I needed glasses.
what's your seeing eye dog's name?
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:29 pm to DavidTheGnome
I was head deep into a 69 with this chick I dated in college. We were in my room, music pretty loud. I hear this loud bang. I get up and notice the chain from our front door swinging back and forth. My heart dropped. Next thing I hear is the buzzer from our intercom system. I press talk...hello? "BUSTEDSACK, THIS IS YOUR MOTHER, I'M COMING UP!" Girlfriend gets dressed, music is turned down. She starts talking about school. Mamma bear along with my 5 year old niece walk in. Girlfriend and I start heading to the front door. Mrs. Sack mutters in a condescending tone, "hello, Lauren". Mama then says, "Bustedsack, I need to talk to you". I tell my dick garage that I'll meet her at the car. I close the door. Mom goes, "just so you know, I saw everything". I'm looking down, ears red, trying not to make eye contact. "What do you have to say for yourself"? Nothing is coming to my mind. I've been caught red rocket handed. I look up and say, "well, at least I'm not gay". I could swear my mom wanted to laugh but she just said, "go".
I've never been more embarrassed in my life.
I've never been more embarrassed in my life.
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:30 pm to DavidTheGnome
I lived about a mile from my high school. My mom would leave early for work and my girlfriend at the time would come over before school maybe once a week and we’d do the dirty. One time we boned on the family room couch and I left a bottle of lube out. Needless to say, my mother found it before I realized. This was after she found out I wasn’t a virgin anymore.
She found out I wasn’t a virgin by going through my desk drawer when I wasn’t home and discovered used condoms crammed into the back of the drawers. That was my disposable method apparently.
I was a disgusting little frick
She found out I wasn’t a virgin by going through my desk drawer when I wasn’t home and discovered used condoms crammed into the back of the drawers. That was my disposable method apparently.
I was a disgusting little frick
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:31 pm to DavidTheGnome
I was 15. Just had my tonsils out over Christmas break. Mom busted me and the gf with her shirt off in my bed. She really didn’t make a big deal out of it which shocked me.
At my house door could stay closed. At hers it had to stay open. We got it in when we could.
At my house door could stay closed. At hers it had to stay open. We got it in when we could.
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:31 pm to Bustedsack
quote:FIFY
I look up and say, "well, at least I'm not completely gay".
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:32 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
what's your seeing eye dog's name?
Stains
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:33 pm to DrSteveBrule
quote:That reminds me of a time I was caught after the act.
my mom found it calling me screaming and crying. She was so disappointed in me.
The very first time I had sex I caught chlamydia:
I was 15 so I couldn't take care of it myself so I just told my mom I wasn't feeling well and she made an appointment. For some reason, I thought there was some sort of confidentiality rule where my mom wouldn't find out.
Of course, she received a statement from the insurance company a few days later. I still remember like yesterday when she almost kicked my bedroom door off the hinges, held the statement in my face and screamed "Chlamydia!!!!".
This post was edited on 5/13/19 at 9:37 pm
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:34 pm to northshorebamaman
quote:
The very first time I had sex I caught chlamydia
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:34 pm to northshorebamaman
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:41 pm to northshorebamaman
What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have gonorrhea?
Having your dentist tell you.
Having your dentist tell you.
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:42 pm to Smart Post
Ya jerking off to travel ball, they shut that shite down quick
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:42 pm to northshorebamaman
quote:
Of course, she received a statement from the insurance company a few days later. I still remember like yesterday when she almost kicked my bedroom door off the hinges, held the statement in my face and screamed "Chlamydia!!!!".
Good times
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:44 pm to Tigerbait357
NS wins the internet today. I'm in tears
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:44 pm to DavidTheGnome
One night when I was like 16 I heard my dad coming down the hall to my bedroom. I had about a 2 second head start on him and pressed the "Last" button on the remote to change the channel from cinemax back to ESPN.
Little did I know he was going to bring the remote from the living room with him and he pressed the last button on it himself, changing the channel from ESPN back to the soft core porn I was watching.
I've never been so embarrassed in my life.
Little did I know he was going to bring the remote from the living room with him and he pressed the last button on it himself, changing the channel from ESPN back to the soft core porn I was watching.
I've never been so embarrassed in my life.
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