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re: Have your parents ever caught you doing anything sexual?

Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:22 pm to
Posted by CHEDBALLZ
South Central LA
Member since Dec 2009
23243 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:22 pm to
I got caught beating off.


If you didn't get caught beating off you just had a better hiding spot than me.
Posted by Loungefly85
Lafayette
Member since Jul 2016
7930 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:26 pm to
I had to learn about deleting search histories the hard way back in the primitive days of internet porn.

Thankfully dad just basically laughed and said delete it before mom sees.

Also, when I was about 12 I was staying the weekend at my grandparents and had a Hustler I stole in my overnight bag. Sometime during the day my grandma washed all my clothes and put them neatly folded in the bag on top the magazine and nothing was ever said
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
74812 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:27 pm to
What single question would break the Arky Board here?

Hint:
quote:

Have your parents ever caught you doing anything sexual?
Posted by Martini
Near Athens
Member since Mar 2005
49661 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:27 pm to
One of the nuns caught me punching the clown at school and told me I was going to go blind if I didn’t stop.

I told her I’d stop when I needed glasses.
Posted by DavidTheGnome
Monroe
Member since Apr 2015
31526 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:27 pm to
quote:

I had to learn about deleting search histories the hard way back in the primitive days of internet porn.



Yep me too
Posted by BRgetthenet
Member since Oct 2011
118252 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:28 pm to
lol


So funny.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
92217 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:28 pm to
quote:

I told her I’d stop when I needed glasses.

what's your seeing eye dog's name?
Posted by Bustedsack
Member since Dec 2017
4387 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:29 pm to
I was head deep into a 69 with this chick I dated in college. We were in my room, music pretty loud. I hear this loud bang. I get up and notice the chain from our front door swinging back and forth. My heart dropped. Next thing I hear is the buzzer from our intercom system. I press talk...hello? "BUSTEDSACK, THIS IS YOUR MOTHER, I'M COMING UP!" Girlfriend gets dressed, music is turned down. She starts talking about school. Mamma bear along with my 5 year old niece walk in. Girlfriend and I start heading to the front door. Mrs. Sack mutters in a condescending tone, "hello, Lauren". Mama then says, "Bustedsack, I need to talk to you". I tell my dick garage that I'll meet her at the car. I close the door. Mom goes, "just so you know, I saw everything". I'm looking down, ears red, trying not to make eye contact. "What do you have to say for yourself"? Nothing is coming to my mind. I've been caught red rocket handed. I look up and say, "well, at least I'm not gay". I could swear my mom wanted to laugh but she just said, "go".

I've never been more embarrassed in my life.
Posted by Gings5
Member since Jul 2016
11649 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:30 pm to
I lived about a mile from my high school. My mom would leave early for work and my girlfriend at the time would come over before school maybe once a week and we’d do the dirty. One time we boned on the family room couch and I left a bottle of lube out. Needless to say, my mother found it before I realized. This was after she found out I wasn’t a virgin anymore.

She found out I wasn’t a virgin by going through my desk drawer when I wasn’t home and discovered used condoms crammed into the back of the drawers. That was my disposable method apparently.

I was a disgusting little frick
Posted by tigersownall
Thibodaux
Member since Sep 2011
16994 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:31 pm to
I was 15. Just had my tonsils out over Christmas break. Mom busted me and the gf with her shirt off in my bed. She really didn’t make a big deal out of it which shocked me.

At my house door could stay closed. At hers it had to stay open. We got it in when we could.
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
74812 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:31 pm to
quote:

I look up and say, "well, at least I'm not completely gay".
FIFY
Posted by Martini
Near Athens
Member since Mar 2005
49661 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:32 pm to
quote:

what's your seeing eye dog's name?



Stains
Posted by northshorebamaman
Mackinac Island
Member since Jul 2009
38330 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:33 pm to
quote:

my mom found it calling me screaming and crying. She was so disappointed in me.
That reminds me of a time I was caught after the act.

The very first time I had sex I caught chlamydia:




I was 15 so I couldn't take care of it myself so I just told my mom I wasn't feeling well and she made an appointment. For some reason, I thought there was some sort of confidentiality rule where my mom wouldn't find out.

Of course, she received a statement from the insurance company a few days later. I still remember like yesterday when she almost kicked my bedroom door off the hinges, held the statement in my face and screamed "Chlamydia!!!!".
This post was edited on 5/13/19 at 9:37 pm
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
53519 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:34 pm to
quote:

The very first time I had sex I caught chlamydia

Posted by DavidTheGnome
Monroe
Member since Apr 2015
31526 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:34 pm to
Posted by Smart Post
Member since Feb 2018
3539 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:41 pm to
What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have gonorrhea?

Having your dentist tell you.
Posted by ScaryClown
Member since Nov 2016
5847 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:42 pm to
Ya jerking off to travel ball, they shut that shite down quick
Posted by Tigerbait357
Member since Jun 2011
71121 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:42 pm to
quote:

Of course, she received a statement from the insurance company a few days later. I still remember like yesterday when she almost kicked my bedroom door off the hinges, held the statement in my face and screamed "Chlamydia!!!!".


Good times
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
53519 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:44 pm to
NS wins the internet today. I'm in tears
Posted by UMRealist
Member since Feb 2013
35906 posts
Posted on 5/13/19 at 9:44 pm to
One night when I was like 16 I heard my dad coming down the hall to my bedroom. I had about a 2 second head start on him and pressed the "Last" button on the remote to change the channel from cinemax back to ESPN.

Little did I know he was going to bring the remote from the living room with him and he pressed the last button on it himself, changing the channel from ESPN back to the soft core porn I was watching.

I've never been so embarrassed in my life.
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