Have you ever psychoanalyzed your old Christmas videos?

I caught myself doing this recently. My family, without fail, videoed every Christmas morning during my youth. They weren't very interesting until the early 90s in my case. I found 1993 to be quite intriguing.

Gifts were aplenty that year. It disgusts me to see all the material waste and wealth that year. A new basketball goal, a Schwinn bike, Sega CD with Echo, Mortal Kombat, and Jurassic Park and a Game Gear, a Talkboy, a copy of Beauty and the Beast, a radio control car, a Game Genie for the Super NES. The family probably threw away a grand on me.

In our family, all the presents were open. There was no wrapping done, as Mother believed wrapping paper was a waste and the surprise was seeing all the gifts at once when we came downstairs. You could see the surprise and glee in my eyes when I ran to the toys, as if they were the most important thing that morning.

The family was gathered for 15-20 minutes, each in their own little zone inspecting and giving an approving nod or disappointed shrug to each of the gifts. There was little interaction, and soon the room emptied as people returned to their own worlds to play with or try on their gifts.

As I watched I realized that I had stayed behind in the family room. I began to film the room by myself. Sensing that there was more to Christmas than what I had just witnessed, I began creating a community for myself. The dog began to talk to me on camera. Then I began to give life to inanimate objects like a couch and the ceiling fan. I named them and spoke with them, obviously desperate for communion and interaction with others. It was one of the most pathetic (in the true meaning of that word) scenes I've ever seen on film. Perhaps internet forums have served a similar function for me, but forums give animated response to my inanimate words.

I suspect most of you had better childhoods than I did. Maybe not. I wonder what you might have revealed to you if you looked at old videos of you and your family in a critical, reflective light.