re: Have women bitten off more than they can chew w/(family courts/marriage/divorce)

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will say Type A is better off with type A. Two materialistic, linear types are probably better off together than with someone who doesn't think like they do.

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I don’t think this is true. I think type A people need a calmer, more unfocused type to balance them out. When people are too similar in a relationship, their strengths are doubled, but so are their weaknesses. They can’t provide what the other lacks because they lack it too.

A good marriage is two people who as a unit are better than the sum of their parts. They work as a team to accomplish their goals. When the team members each bring the same skills, then that team can be hyper competent when those skills are needed, but they will also be completely dysfunctional when confronted with problems that cannot be solved with those skills.

I once dated a girl who was incredibly similar to me. With few exceptions, our skill sets, mindsets, and habits were incredibly similar. Our friends all thought it was a perfect match. However, we actually were each other’s enabler. Our doubled-down personalities left the “team” completely unbalanced with massive skill deficiencies in critical areas. Neither of us served as the handbrake to the other’s self-destructive or selfish tendencies because we had the same tendencies. No one was willing to be the adult in the room because we both catered to the other’s inner child. We’d have tons of fun together, but then we’d fall apart over the stupidest things because neither had the skills or personality to solve those issues. We’re still good friends, but it became clear quickly that a long term romantic relationship just wouldn’t work because we would basically placate the other to death. We each needed a different type of person to help us find balance.

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It has gotten to the point where Society views men as nothing more than a punchline , while women, no matter how slovenly, stupid or worthless they might be, are Superheros with zero faults.

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Truth.

Just as an example of catering to the lazy and obese, have you ever noticed that there are no overweight or obese male mannequins?



It is just a funny dichotomy when it comes to social cues and marketing.

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Too many people, men and women waste a lot of time with someone who is showing them obvious signs they’re not interested in the long haul or them

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Don't "show signs." Be direct and forward like an adult should. This mind game bullshite is another problem in the dating pool right now too.

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While that can and is certainly true, this thread totally ignores the other side of the coin.

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This is absolutely true and why it’s important for men to take responsibility for the things they can change about themselves. Don’t be fat and complacent. Always have a mission. You literally cannot justifiably complain about how bad things are if you don’t get yourself in order, 100%.

The issue this thread is focused on is that even if you DO take care of business and do everything right as a man, you can still get totally destroyed by marriage simply because you’re a man and the system is openly, brazenly, proudly biased against men. And there are a lot of rah-rah girl boss type women who cheer this development on and then complain that they can’t find a good man to marry them. It’s crazy!

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not get fat

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Men want a woman

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Then why are so many men fat? Just look around.

The fault always lies with both, but only one side is rewarded for the outcome.



Neither side should be punished or rewarded.

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But I think a lot of the reason both men and women can't find good partners when dating as adults is because the good partners.. have good partners. Mature, reasonable people found other mature, reasonable people when they were younger and they still remain married.

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I think the reason a lot of people can't find good partners is that they have an unyielding idea of what they think that a good partner is. They look at what their friends have, what TV and social media tells them they should have, and think if it's good for them it must be good for me too.

But if that type of man/woman isn't choosing *you* as well, then that's a pretty clear indication that for whatever reason, that type of person isn't a good fit for you, at least as you currently exist. So the choice is clear, either change who you are fundamentally, or adjust your expectations.

But social programming is hard to overcome and people will hang on to this idea of what they think is right for them in the face of overwhelming evidence. People don't like to be wrong so it's easier to say "there are no good men/women" than it is to say that they learned the wrong things about what they should be looking for.

I work in a female dominated profession. All the married females do is complain about their spouse. The non-married ones will complain about everything under the sun.

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The fault always lies with both, but only one side is rewarded for the outcome.

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I agree with all of that. I'm just pointing out the common delusion in the divorce posts on TD that the blame the ex wife for everything with absolutely 0 self reflection.

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has gotten to the point where Society views men as nothing more than a punchline , while women, no matter how slovenly, stupid or worthless they might be, are Superheros with zero faults.

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Nah, it’s just that men are just as insecure as women, if not more.