re: Frat bros, what was the best thing about a frat and what advice will you give new guys?

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This can be done easily with basic social skills no need to buy your friend group.

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Do you guys think we just bound ourselves to live around to anyone who can pay the dues for four years? Not to mention the reality that especially at SEC schools, kids who go greek are typically from backgrounds that give them a huge head start on social skills and social ease/grace (ie, money). I just think it's such a weird knock on fraternities.

But yeah, as I stated, it can be replicated without fraternity life. But it's quite a bit easier when you live in the same house as 60-100 dudes with similar interests/backgrounds/etc. who've all chosen to go through college with you and you have a big pool of money to play with.

If you are asking, it's not for you. Too much to balance and remain focused on degree. Was great, not for losers.

I pledged 40 years ago in mid 80's. As many have said, it was kinda the thing to do at the time. There were not all of the social media, or as many clubs that were around then as they are today. My son did not join a fraternity, nor did I pressure him to do so.

That said, it is a good way to make contacts and network for post graduation and unlike some who have posted. Many are doctors/lawyers/judges, state legislators, business owners etc. We actually do keep in touch and try to go to a football game every fall and tailgate together or take trips over long weekends to beach/fishing etc. Over the years we have lost a few to cancers, Covid, etc. and it just helps remind us that life is precious and don't take anything for granted.

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quote: What was the best thing about being in a frat? Being able to pool lots of money to do stuff. Always having guys you were good friends with around to do whatever you wanted at a given time. In some ways it's nothing you can't replicate, but it's just easier/more organized because a) there are more of them and b) they're all there because they have some stuff in common. If there are 120 guys in your fraternity you're probably pretty strong friends with at least half of them and decent friends with another chunk. That makes it really easy to find a golf foursome or find 3 guys to go on a road trip to meet up with a girl or go to some party with. If you don't duck hunt but want to, someone will take you. If you don't have money for something, someone will get you. If you don't have somewhere to go for SB/July 4/etc. etc. someone has a spot and will welcome you. It's just a nice way to do college life IMO (or was). quote: What advice would you give a new kid going into rush? What did you learn that you wish you knew when rushing? People all want the same stuff. Everyone wants reliable friends who bring something to the table. Nobody was ever impressed at someone trying super hard or being a dick or talking about his conquests or how much he could drink. We wanted guys who were good natured, would make grades, be polite to our parents, bring around girls, etc.

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Perfect response.
At Alabama for example, if you’re in one of the older houses you have friends from all over from various socioeconomic backgrounds. Buddies with prime hunting land, some with winter houses in Telluride and an entirely differentne group you can round up for a 2 week summer fishing trip in Costa Rica.

Then you’ll have one whose Dad sends and a dozen brothers to Vegas all expenses paid for a long weekend. Then you’ll have a guy from Troy with sweet turkey hunting access, a few with mansions on Ono or lake houses on Martin. Hell you may have a guy from Boston that spends nearly every holiday with your family.
The diversity you’ll experience and connections are worth the $$.

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makes it really easy to find a golf foursome or find 3 guys to go on a road trip to meet up with a girl or go to some party with. If you don't duck hunt but want to, someone will take you. If you don't have money for something, someone will get you. If you don't have somewhere to go for SB/July 4/etc. etc. someone has a spot and will welcome you. It's just a nice way to do college life IMO (or was).

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Completely agree. Very well said

I’d add that all those good times lead to life long friendships. As we get older, it’s still a great time. Always.

But we are getting older. And adult life can go sideways a hundred different ways.

Those good friends, old friends now, that all started while doing silly pledge shite over 2 decades ago. Those good guys from my fraternity are good men now. And we help each other, almost—hey I’m realistic—without question or reservation.

About a month ago one of my best friends father passed away on a Saturday afternoon. It had been a long battle, affairs were in order, so we find out late Sunday night that services will be held Tuesday at 9AM, in their hometown, which is well out of state for at least 80% of our chapter.

9 of us were standing outside the funeral home at 8:45 on Tuesday morning, catching up and trying to make the best out of a sad day.

All of us have jobs. All of us have kids. Most of us are married and live out of state. And btw I went to a small private school so all of the fraternities are smaller. 9-10 was the average pledge class.

We support each other through the good and the bad, consistently.


Man, I don’t know about y’all, but life can be really fricking tough. And I feel very blessed with my family, work, all of it. But sometimes it all hits the fan at once.

When I feel like I’m on the verge of drowning, or exploding, usually exploding, I’m so grateful that I have these friends. Who I can trust with my family, who I can trust with my embarrassing shite, who I can call on for help at any hour of the day any day of the year.

I’m so thankful.


People say it’s “buying your friends”. Fine. I wish I could buy more. I wish I could purchase friendships like this for my children. It’s one of the best investments I’ve made in my entire life.

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Frat bros, what was the best thing about a frat and what advice will you give new guys?

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I could not tell you, SOC. I am team Greaser. Cherie Valance likes the bad boys.

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Yes but to a far lesser extent. Mainly because with Greek life it’s all about legacies. Parents grandparents etc were all in this same house. It’s more of a sure thing to get helped out by a Greek connection than church. Now army that’s different. Random people hire vets just because it’s the right thing to do.

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I currently have the 4th generation in the same house at Bama. The connections and lifelong friendships are immeasurable.

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paid $880 a semester for room and board in a high COL area. Granted the frat house was a dump and our cook went heavy on unhealthy foods but that cheap cost (even factoring in dues) plus added things like keg beer parties was a lifesaver for me avoiding student loans

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Same. Parents weren't on board with paying for the fraternity at first. Then when I lived in the house, they realized dues plus boarding was far cheaper than paying rent. So they were willing to cover what I couldn't. And I got tons of benefits like parties, better football seats, and stuff.

Has anybody touched on the value of the great drug connections they provide? ‘Cause I was mainly there for the drug connections.