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re: Frat bros, what was the best thing about a frat and what advice will you give new guys?
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:05 am to RolltidePA
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:05 am to RolltidePA
quote:
One thing that rarely gets talked about, that my friends who were in ones always mentioned, is that you get a small taste of management. Sure, it may be for stupid shite like for parties, but if you take a leadership role, you’ll learn how to organize, build a hierarchy and communicate across groups and get people in motion to actually get shite done.
I missed this, but it's spot on and something I've mentioned at times on this board.
If you're going to do the track of SEC fraternity life to grad school to some profession in a suburban/urban environment, it's useful. A treasurer at a decent sized SEC fraternity is managing the budget akin to a small business. A steward is organizing meals for 50 guys a night, a social chair is working with vendors and venues and insurance brokers, etc.
Again, this isn't ground breaking but it's pretty solid footing for stuff you may do later, either in a career or ancillary to it. For many of us, you're going to be HOA president, you're going to sit on a board at church or for a non-profit, etc. It provides familiarity to that type of role and the responsibilities that come with it.
Of course, you can elect how much you want to do stuff like that, most people in the fraternity won't be directly involved but there's probably some benefit to being around it/seeing how it functions.
0
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:14 am to lsuoilengr
not by a long shot
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:16 am to ChiGator
quote:
Option B: be a GDI, hang with the same 6 people every weekend in your apartment. Not constantly be around hot chicks at parties.
I certainly don't put too much into greek/non-greek and even when I was in school we probably used GDI as a slur more against each other than outsiders.
But in general being greek was a shortcut for conservative, probably hunts/fishes/likes sports, plays golf, politically incorrect, listens to REK
Being a GDI who was "like us" was pretty high praise and we always had a dozen guys hanging around who you couldn't quite remember if they were actually in the fraternity or not
Posted on 5/25/23 at 11:41 am to TD422
quote:
So, CF, what was it that made Greek Life such a terrible experience for you? Care to explain? Personally, I made some life long friendships - guys I can count on for ANYTHING. And I'm still close to them, and it's been 30 years. As far as the "wasting money" thing - the connections I have made have returned my dues probably tenfold (admittedly, I was in a really small chapter with relatively cheap dues). One brother has helped me with legal issues, free of charge. Others have given of their time without question or expectation of any return...I could ask them for money, help, the shirt off their backs - and I'd get it. I'm not sure how you can put a price on that. If I really just "bought" them, they should have left long ago, but they're still here. Just a phone call or text away. As others have stated, I just don't get why some enter frat topics and consistently shat all over the system. If it's not for you, great. But YOUR experience doesn't negate the majority that would say it was a worthwhile experience.
I never said it was terrible, I am just saying it’s a waste of fvcking money. Unless your daddy or auntie is fronting the bill, I’d avoid it. Any perks from a fraternity, a GDI can get. If you are a socially awkward frick that can’t get pvssy, joining a fraternity isn’t going to magically change that. The friends and network is all BS. You might still talk to 1-2 of them after college and you will forget about most of it after college. Joining a fraternity is just an overall shvtty investment and an easily forgettable experience if you have a life after college. If you move outside your college post grad pipe line, you are basically on your own again. For example, UGA grads tend to go to Georgia, Florida, Tennessee, and etc. I live in Houston, Texas so all of that network privilege went out the door.
This post was edited on 5/25/23 at 11:46 am
Posted on 5/25/23 at 2:07 pm to CornbreadFed
As far as being a waste of money - I couldn't disagree more. But, we're each entitled to our opinion.
I'm not sure what makes you think the networking is all BS - I'd bet there are 100 Greeks that would disagree with you for every one you can find that takes your side. If you feel like you're in some sort of Greek "black hole" in Houston, TX, all I can say is you're not looking very hard. I'd just about guarantee there's some sort of UGA Alum / Alpha Beta Gamma" chapter in Houston. Or, "wave your frat flag" on LinkedIn. And duck, it's gonna come back hot, fast, and wet.
There are a lot of professionals out there that would jump at the chance to connect with a brother, even if from a different school.
Maybe you just had a bad experience at UGA. I'm not knocking the school, it's just that some people feel consumed by the size of the whole experience. 50K students, several thousand Greeks, chapters with a few hundred members. I know Bama takes Greek Life seriously, maybe it's the same way at UGA. I had a much different experience at a smaller school. I knew everyone in my chapter, knew most of the sororities, etc.
I'm just sensing there's something else going on in your case. Not judging you, but you seem to carry a lot more anger that "it's not worth the money." Good Luck to you, man.
I'm not sure what makes you think the networking is all BS - I'd bet there are 100 Greeks that would disagree with you for every one you can find that takes your side. If you feel like you're in some sort of Greek "black hole" in Houston, TX, all I can say is you're not looking very hard. I'd just about guarantee there's some sort of UGA Alum / Alpha Beta Gamma" chapter in Houston. Or, "wave your frat flag" on LinkedIn. And duck, it's gonna come back hot, fast, and wet.
There are a lot of professionals out there that would jump at the chance to connect with a brother, even if from a different school. Maybe you just had a bad experience at UGA. I'm not knocking the school, it's just that some people feel consumed by the size of the whole experience. 50K students, several thousand Greeks, chapters with a few hundred members. I know Bama takes Greek Life seriously, maybe it's the same way at UGA. I had a much different experience at a smaller school. I knew everyone in my chapter, knew most of the sororities, etc.
I'm just sensing there's something else going on in your case. Not judging you, but you seem to carry a lot more anger that "it's not worth the money." Good Luck to you, man.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 2:52 pm to CornbreadFed
quote:
never said it was terrible, I am just saying it’s a waste of fvcking money. Unless your daddy or auntie is fronting the bill, I’d avoid it. Any perks from a fraternity, a GDI can get. If you are a socially awkward frick that can’t get pvssy, joining a fraternity isn’t going to magically change that. The friends and network is all BS. You might still talk to 1-2 of them after college and you will forget about most of it after college. Joining a fraternity is just an overall shvtty investment and an easily forgettable experience if you have a life after college. If you move outside your college post grad pipe line, you are basically on your own again. For example, UGA grads tend to go to Georgia, Florida, Tennessee, and etc. I live in Houston, Texas so all of that network privilege went out the door.
Sounds like you A - joined the wrong frat and you didn’t fit in or B- just would’ve been this miserable not joining a frat due to being a miserable frick. It’s about the memories doing college everyone moves around after and it sounds like you simply didn’t make any close friends
Posted on 5/25/23 at 3:00 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
Being a GDI who was "like us" was pretty high praise and we always had a dozen guys hanging around who you couldn't quite remember if they were actually in the fraternity or not
Same. Looking back it was a peculiar scenario especially when the friend of the chapter was well liked and high quality but couldn’t pledge for whatever reason. This was pretty common in my run. Usually was the more the merrier type of situation.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 3:14 pm to 3BlockUber
Honest answer and my advice to your nephew-
Don't rush your first semester. Fall Rush is nothing but a smokescreen all around. It's called "rush" for a reason. You get rushed into making a hasty decision about who you will spend a large portion of your time with while in your undergrad years.
Wait until at least your second semester - or better yet- the first semester of your sophomore year when you have had a chance to get a feel for the lay of the land and spend some time around classmates that have joined one fraternity or the other. If you're interested in joining a fraternity, join one that has members whose beliefs and values more closely align with yours, rather than joining the flashiest group of party boys.
Fraternities actually do have some redeeming qualities, despite having been seen to be nothing but Animal House.
To maintain good standing and be able to participate in functions, you must maintain a decent GPA. That alone can help students keep a bit of an interest in sticking their noses in the books. Common interests among members develops lasting friendships as well.
Take your time and make an informed decision about which fraternity you'd like to join. Don't base your decision on partying and binge drinking lest you find yourself on the dean's list that you don't want to be on. (The one that includes academic probation and/or dismissal from the university.)
My fraternity chapter averaged 50 to 60 members over the years I was an undergrad. We were pretty tight and enjoyed hunting and fishing every bit as much as we did parties and drinking. We also watched out for each other and made sure grades stayed up and no one did anything stupid enough to land them in jail. (Didn't always work, but then again, some guys just won't listen.)
Out of all the brothers I attended school with, I keep up with maybe a half dozen regularly, and one turned out to be my closest and best friend over the course of more than thirty years since graduation. We live about 600 miles apart and see each other only once every couple of years or so, but either one of us would drop everything to go to the other's aid should it ever be required. It's a closeness that is thicker than blood in some cases.
Bottom line - don't rush into it. Take your time and do it right.
Don't rush your first semester. Fall Rush is nothing but a smokescreen all around. It's called "rush" for a reason. You get rushed into making a hasty decision about who you will spend a large portion of your time with while in your undergrad years.
Wait until at least your second semester - or better yet- the first semester of your sophomore year when you have had a chance to get a feel for the lay of the land and spend some time around classmates that have joined one fraternity or the other. If you're interested in joining a fraternity, join one that has members whose beliefs and values more closely align with yours, rather than joining the flashiest group of party boys.
Fraternities actually do have some redeeming qualities, despite having been seen to be nothing but Animal House.
To maintain good standing and be able to participate in functions, you must maintain a decent GPA. That alone can help students keep a bit of an interest in sticking their noses in the books. Common interests among members develops lasting friendships as well.
Take your time and make an informed decision about which fraternity you'd like to join. Don't base your decision on partying and binge drinking lest you find yourself on the dean's list that you don't want to be on. (The one that includes academic probation and/or dismissal from the university.)
My fraternity chapter averaged 50 to 60 members over the years I was an undergrad. We were pretty tight and enjoyed hunting and fishing every bit as much as we did parties and drinking. We also watched out for each other and made sure grades stayed up and no one did anything stupid enough to land them in jail. (Didn't always work, but then again, some guys just won't listen.)
Out of all the brothers I attended school with, I keep up with maybe a half dozen regularly, and one turned out to be my closest and best friend over the course of more than thirty years since graduation. We live about 600 miles apart and see each other only once every couple of years or so, but either one of us would drop everything to go to the other's aid should it ever be required. It's a closeness that is thicker than blood in some cases.
Bottom line - don't rush into it. Take your time and do it right.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 3:16 pm to r0cky1
quote:
Sounds like you A - joined the wrong frat and you didn’t fit in or B- just would’ve been this miserable not joining a frat due to being a miserable frick. It’s about the memories doing college everyone moves around after and it sounds like you simply didn’t make any close friends
So you peaked in college? Gotcha
This post was edited on 5/25/23 at 3:25 pm
Posted on 5/25/23 at 3:22 pm to TD422
quote:
I'm not sure what makes you think the networking is all BS - I'd bet there are 100 Greeks that would disagree with you for every one you can find that takes your side. If you feel like you're in some sort of Greek "black hole" in Houston, TX, all I can say is you're not looking very hard. I'd just about guarantee there's some sort of UGA Alum / Alpha Beta Gamma" chapter in Houston. Or, "wave your frat flag" on LinkedIn. And duck, it's gonna come back hot, fast, and wet. There are a lot of professionals out there that would jump at the chance to connect with a brother, even if from a different school.
No matter how much copium you apply, nobody gives a flying shvt about their fraternities or Greek life after college. The Black Greek life is a completely different story though. Whenever I run in to a fellow fraternity brother in public, it literally goes like “that’s cool dude, adios”. If IFC Greek life is so strong outside college, why don’t I see it heavily advertised outside college campuses like the Black Fraternities and Sororities?
Posted on 5/25/23 at 3:28 pm to CornbreadFed
quote:
So you peaked in college? Gotcha
Classic reply. College is a great time if you do it right, and life continues to get better. You’re simply basing your shitty fraternity experience and stating it as a fact. It’s not for everyone and clearly not for you, which is fine. You just sound like a guy that didn’t make any close friends and is bitter. Every fraternity has a few guys like you
Posted on 5/25/23 at 3:31 pm to ChiGator
quote:
Option B: be a GDI, hang with the same 6 people every weekend in your apartment. Not constantly be around hot chicks at parties.
Sounds awesome.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 3:33 pm to r0cky1
quote:
Classic reply. College is a great time if you do it right, and life continues to get better. You’re simply basing your shitty fraternity experience and stating it as a fact. It’s not for everyone and clearly not for you, which is fine. You just sound like a guy that didn’t make any close friends and is bitter. Every fraternity has a few guys like you
You literally sound like the dude that graduated that made himself the honorary house dad. If I hated my fraternity experience so much then why the frick did I stay in it? I could’ve easily just fricking dropped after one semester. I am just giving OP the honest truth that’s not blinded by “I peaked in college” energy. If op has to pay out of pocket don’t do it. If daddy or auntie can front the dues, go ahead OP. If you plan never leaving within 100 miles of your college campus, getting in to a dead bed room marriage with a boring job then go ahead and make the best moment of your life more enjoyable lol.
This post was edited on 5/25/23 at 3:35 pm
Posted on 5/25/23 at 3:44 pm to CornbreadFed
quote:
No matter how much copium you apply
What in the flying frog flip are you talking about? Where the f*ck do you get from my posts that I have some sort of loss I need to deal with? You write like you're 11, but you claim to have left school in your rearview...yet somehow, your writing style and life claims sort of clash.
quote:
Whenever I run in to a fellow fraternity brother in public, it literally goes like “that’s cool dude, adios”.
So YOU joined a frat with some douche bags in it. Now we're getting somewhere. Get over it, Sparky, life is filled with 'em.
quote:
If IFC Greek life is so strong outside college, why don’t I see it heavily advertised outside college campuses like the Black Fraternities and Sororities?
Because it's a fraternal organization geared toward, you know, college students? Once you leave college it's time to adult for a while. You can still interact with your frat, but on a different level than when you were in school. Are you pissed that the actives don't invite you to their events anymore?
This post was edited on 5/25/23 at 3:46 pm
Posted on 5/25/23 at 3:54 pm to TD422
It sounds like you joined some shvtty small non frat row fraternity. It makes sense now lol.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 3:59 pm to 3BlockUber
Was a Pike at ULM. Made a lot of lifelong friends and had a ton of fun along the way. Not to mention the socials with different sororities was like fishing with dynamite. I’d tell him to go for it. I’d say it def enhances the college experience and despite what ppl think they hold you accountable on keeping your grades up too. (At least ours did ).
Posted on 5/25/23 at 4:08 pm to AlonsoWDC
quote:A shite ton of alcohol, testosterone and wit sometimes made Wednesday-night meetings brutal.
you get a small taste of management
As pledges we learned that if you could say something useful and / or funny you'd be OK.
Prepared me well for the corporate world.
Posted on 5/25/23 at 4:12 pm to CornbreadFed
quote:
It sounds like you joined some shvtty small non frat row fraternity. It makes sense now lol.
Yeah, life long friends, a great experience, and positive memories. And yet, you're the immature, angry, living in your mom's basement guy that shits on everything Greek.
I'm sensing more and more that YOU'RE the douchebag that ruined your fraternity experience.
This post was edited on 5/25/23 at 4:15 pm
Posted on 5/25/23 at 4:16 pm to TD422
TD422
You were frat at UNO?
Gimme a hint, your frat started with L,T, or P?
You were frat at UNO?
Gimme a hint, your frat started with L,T, or P?
Posted on 5/25/23 at 4:17 pm to doublecutter
P. You?
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