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re: Former NFLer Matt Kalil is suing his ex-wife for talking publicly about his enormous penis

Posted on 1/7/26 at 7:44 am to
Posted by JoeyP239
Member since Nov 2025
1265 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 7:44 am to
After seeing pictures of his ex-wife he completely out kicked his coverage as an Offensive Lineman. She’s way hot
Posted by MorbidTheClown
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
76337 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 7:46 am to
quote:

he completely out kicked his coverage


career earnings over $58 million
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
92366 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 7:50 am to
quote:


career earnings over $58 million



according to OBJ that’s barely enough to scrape by on, three years tops
Posted by LSU Grad Alabama Fan
369 Cardboard Box Lane
Member since Nov 2019
14232 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 8:09 am to
Could have been me if I had married her.
This post was edited on 1/7/26 at 8:10 am
Posted by oleheat
Sportsman's Paradise
Member since Mar 2007
14799 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 9:09 am to
Walking into court......


Posted by VolsOut4Harambe
Baw Land
Member since Sep 2017
14436 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 9:19 am to
quote:

It actually helps anchor your feet and lower your center of gravity.


quote:

It also comes in handy.



quote:

Willie Stroker


Checks out.
Posted by TheBob
Metairie
Member since Jun 2005
17043 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 9:19 am to
Mine has been compared to a 5 hour energy
Posted by supadave3
Houston, TX
Member since Dec 2005
32178 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 9:22 am to
quote:

Mine has been compared to a 5 hour energy


I usually get the comparison of tube of chapstick. Sometimes, even a tube and half of chapstick.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
92366 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 9:25 am to
quote:

even a tube and half of chapstick.


subtle, real subtle
Posted by SquatchDawg
Cohutta Wilderness
Member since Sep 2012
20128 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 9:29 am to
Should’ve gotten her to sign an NDA like I did.

Plot twist: he actually has a tiny peen and she did that to set his arse up to disappoint all future GFs.
This post was edited on 1/7/26 at 9:32 am
Posted by Zendog
Santa Barbara
Member since Feb 2019
6826 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 9:34 am to
ummm,,,is this her?

Posted by Hangit
The Green Swamp
Member since Aug 2014
46876 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 9:45 am to
His cock was just fine for 8 years while he was earning big money. It was not too big to marry the multi-millionaire. Once it was decided that he would never play again, she needed to take the half of his cash that she earned and bail. I hope he gets back everything he lost in the divorce in his Prodigious Peen lawsuit.

Posted by CatfishJohn
Member since Jun 2020
20344 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 9:47 am to
quote:

Weird way to say she has a cavernous, gaping vagina that bats fly out of



She said they couldn't be intimate because it didn't fit...

Posted by Napoleon
Kenna
Member since Dec 2007
74292 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 9:53 am to
I do not feel sorry for this dude.
Posted by grizzlylongcut
Member since Sep 2021
15451 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 10:21 am to
quote:

Battle Buddy


Maybe the gayest phrase ever.
Posted by weaveballs1
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2010
3402 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 10:32 am to
quote:

1st world issues


Not usually, no.
Posted by Saint Alfonzo
Member since Jan 2019
30266 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 10:40 am to
quote:

I had a Battle Buddy in the Army that had a huge hog. We all saw it. He told us that women think they want to frick him, then tap out early. It’s a curse, not a blessing.

Just go into making films and avoid the wannabes.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
92366 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 10:48 am to
quote:

It’s a curse, not a blessing.


yes, it truly is
Posted by Hoovertigah
Fayetteville
Member since Sep 2013
3815 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 11:03 am to
2 coke cans? Mine is like one of those 5 hour energy bottles, maybe 1 1/2.
Posted by Pitt Road
Mid-Florida
Member since Aug 2017
1200 posts
Posted on 1/7/26 at 11:06 am to
quote:

There are very few normal women that can physically handle that kind of thing


I knew a few that would damn sure like to give it a try.
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