re: Fellow divorcees...did you know that your marriage was over, or were you blindsided?

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These threads always show a distinct difference between men and women. Do you know of a single man who left his wife and cleaned out the entire house when doing so?

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An acquaintance who has a 3 year old and his wife was pregnant came home from work and told his wife, "I would rather never see my kids again than to live one more second with you."

Got up, with just the clothes on his back and left. Never asked for anything, never argued over child support, just wanted away from her.

She of course did everything she could to drag his arse through the mud. Made claims of alcoholism and abusiveness. It was a long while before he got to see his kids again. She on the other hand, still had her C section wound healing and was fricking some dude from tinder

Had 2nd kid in 2005. We agreed to wait two years before deciding on a third or stopping.

2007, we loved our two to death, but we were BUSY. She was a SAHM but she trained show horses and taught lessons on our horse farm. Her dream farm. I work in pharma manufacturing. We were done at 2 kids!

We decided on a vasectomy for me since the surgery is less complicated and overall safer. She is 100% against tubal ligation (don’t blame her).

I have the vasectomy on a Friday. Three days later, she asks for a divorce. Complete blindside. She’s an identical twin who talked to her sister 2 hours every day. Her sister had no idea (she’s an attorney too!).

Two weeks later, I catch her in bed with her homeless, unemployed, alcoholic 2nd cousin. He was 50 at the time, her 34, he was kicked out of his dad’s house, so about a month before, we let him live in the double wide on the property. Oh - turns out, he had a warrant out for owing 20k in back child support. Also, she gets her tubes tied a month later.

He convinced her she was completely disabled, she got SS, and she claimed him as a dependent on her taxes for years.

She has been having an affair with him for several months. So, it kicked off a war of the roses divorce.

It got to the point where every three months I checked the court docket to make sure he didn’t beat the crap out her or the kids.

10 years later, she lost all contact with the kids after the courts gave her supervised visits after he beat the crap out of our son and was convicted. She moved him back in after he served his term.

She allowed him to convince her that I was a crappy husband and father, and convinced her to be a horrible mom. I fought like heck for the kids because he wanted me OUT of the kids lives (she filed 4 child sexual abuse allegations against me over the years)

He died three years ago. She’s a completely different person now. She makes good money in medical sales. Kids are doing well, son is a union electrical lineman at 21, daughter is starting her youngster year at the Naval Academy.

Did we get this question answered?

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We talking Sarah huckabee thick or Melissa McCarthy fat?

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Did we get this question answered?

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Picture the Hispanic Jardiance woman but white.

Stages of marriage for men...

Meet the girl and get married.


Years into marriage.


Marriage on the rocks.


Divorce


The end

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Got it for him and he said he’d come home from a weekend work trip and everything including light bulbs gone. Even the spool that held toilet paper.

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That's just cruel.

There were “only” 5 at home when she decided on the divorce.

I actually loved being a single dad to them all. It was fun when they were with me but I’ve always been a very involved dad.

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a weekend work trip 

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but was it really?

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- Went to work at 8am.
- neighbor called me at 9 saying there was a moving truck in my driveway.
- called the house, wife said she didn't see the moving truck
- called neighbor to see if she was sure - she replied YES
- 9:30 i get to my house
- wife gone and all her shite is gone

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Damn she packed up and moved out in an hour?

Can I get her phone number? Not for the sex, but to help me with my next move.

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I'm not understanding the logistics behind a relationship where one party can truly blindside the other with a divorce.

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Yeah that’s where I am on this. Not saying it doesn’t happen, I just don’t understand it.

I can understand the shock of the realization that the marriage is actually over, but I’m struggling to understand how, now having the benefit of hindsight, there were no signs.