re: Epiphany after looking back on what made me successful with some girls and others not

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Go ugly early.

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If this shite with the wife doesn't work out I'm only marrying an ugly chick that can cook. She will be grateful for a husband, and less dudes trying to frick her. No one out there is begging the uggos to send nudes so they can get their Jody on.

But the nothing on the line thing? You're forcing something, be yourself 100% through and through everything else will appear fake because it isn't you.

My advice to you younger lads is don’t ignore the OT 5-7s while searching for the OT 8-10s.

On some level, women are making a determination of whether you can support them and any family you might have together. What material type of life would you enjoy together? Even early on, although it might be a subconscious thing for them. That's why things like confidence appeals to them and clingy behavior turns them off.

True. Buddy of mine was a dork.

But would walk up to ANY girl. He asked prime Shania Twain to dance. Back when she ways playing larger bars. She shot him down but he asked. Always admired that. Zero fricks. Shooters shoot.

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Zero fricks. Shooters shoot.

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This does work and increase success meeting someone, but isn’t really the core reason why an attractive women would be interested in a guy. I’m in my 40s and have seen and personally experienced enough of the following to state it as fact:

If you want the best you have to be the best.

It’s really very simple. Make yourself better if you want better. Improve these 3 things as they are the general categories of what women look for. Have all 3 and you can be the best and get the best.

Physical appearance - go to the fricking gym. The hot women you want are also going to the gym and eating right.

Wealth/income - work hard, start a business, become potentially capable of supporting her and the lifestyle/family she envisions for herself.

Intelligence/humor - this isn’t really something you can change like the above 2, but this encompasses the confidence that OP is talking about. Women want a partner they won’t be bored with and someone they enjoy the company of.

Did you watch the Ocelot doc before? It was great.

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One sentence.

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There's nothing on the line. Easier said than done, but I know when my personality is that there's nothing on the line, I'm lightyears more successful than when I'm not.

Maybe confidence ties into that, maybe it's a completely different concept. I wouldn't focus too much on confidence because that almost implies a fakeness if you're not feeling it that day and really who can be super confident all the time when life is just fricking hard.

Women are extremely aware when you're feeling any kind of negative emotion especially anxiety even if you yourself don't notice it. I think it's a protection mechanism for themselves. They're already extremely anxious themselves.

That'd be my advice to guys after 3 decades on this planet. Doesn't mean don't be nice or a good person, just... there's nothing on the line.

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Umm…

Money and power and the knowledge that girls like to frick just as much if you are reasonably confident and not a slob.

If you like fat chicks then none of the above are required.

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That'd be my advice to guys after 3 decades on this planet.

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Hmm, so a novice then?

Watch the movie "A Beautiful Mind" with Russell Crowe. There is a mathematical principle. Look for a group of girls with one exceptionally attractive girl and a couple of pretty girls. When you approach that group, ignore the smoking hot one everyone is fawning over and strike up a conversation with one of the other really pretty ones.

When the other guys figure out they aren't gaining traction with the smoking hot one and try to slide off onto the friends, you are already entrenched. They notice they were your first choice and the other guys' backup plan.

Of course, I never did any of that. I married young then divorced and remarried again a couple of years later. I've probably always been a bit too serious about relationships

Short version: Women secretly like it when dudes DGAF.