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re: Does your non-married significant other split living expenses 50/50 with you?

Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:35 pm to
Posted by Roy Curado
Member since Jul 2021
984 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:35 pm to
Me and my SO split costs 50/50 when we lived together and we were both making the same. We are not living together and I make double as before now. I have taken more responsibility for the bills but she still pays a portion. went from 50/50 to more like 30/70.
Posted by makinskrilla
Lafayette, LA
Member since Jun 2009
9728 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:35 pm to
quote:

s she not expected to contribute financially to the relationship/marriage?


That’s up to each couple. But finances aren’t everything. If the woman contributes to a relationship in other ways then finances can be waived. Like if I found the right woman? I wouldn’t expect more than 10% financial contributio towards total cost and maybe even find ways to eliminate the cost completely
Posted by Jcorye1
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
71456 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:36 pm to
quote:

Who is the irrational individual in this scenario?




I wouldn't split the mortgage 50/50, as technically if things don't work out I get a benefit. I'd also have to know income. I'd probably say 70/30 is the most I would go if we made the same amount, or I would find good not elite studio apartment prices in the area and go with that.
Posted by Shiftyplus1
Regret nothing that made you smile
Member since Oct 2005
13359 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:38 pm to
So she gets to live in a house, pay less than what her rent used to be per month to stay there, and people think that HE is trying to screw HER over? She is absolutely taking advantage of him. Helping with the mortgage shouldn't be seen by her as paying for a house but with none of the benefits. She should just see it as a form of rent while she gets to stay with her significant other in a nicer, larger spot than her old apartment.
Posted by makinskrilla
Lafayette, LA
Member since Jun 2009
9728 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:38 pm to
quote:

people think that HE is trying to screw HER over


You need to google search “equity”
Posted by BabyTac
Austin, TX
Member since Jun 2008
12203 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:39 pm to
They either need to get married or break it off now.

Dude has commitment, control issues. She want to be married and isn’t happy. It’ll never work.
Posted by hubertcumberdale
Member since Nov 2009
6523 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:39 pm to
quote:

So she gets to live in a house, pay less than what her rent used to be per month to stay there, and people think that HE is trying to screw HER over? She is absolutely taking advantage of him. Helping with the mortgage shouldn't be seen by her as paying for a house but with none of the benefits. She should just see it as a form of rent while she gets to stay with her significant other in a nicer, larger spot than her old apartment.



yeah i dont understand how anyone else would see this any differently. shes going to be paying someone something in order to live somewhere
Posted by Sterling Archer
Austin
Member since Aug 2012
7325 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:40 pm to
We have a joint account but I don’t monitor it really or I didn’t. I recently found out “we” spent $8k at fricking Target this year when I added it all up
Posted by hubertcumberdale
Member since Nov 2009
6523 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:40 pm to
quote:

You need to google search “equity”



do you understand when you rent from a landlord you are paying their mortgage?
Posted by dcrews
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2011
30205 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:40 pm to
quote:

I wouldn't split the mortgage 50/50, as technically if things don't work out I get a benefit


Sure, I don't disagree, but she gets a benefit as well in the amount of money she can save by not having to rent by herself.

Living by herself, she likely pays twice as much to a complete stranger and gets no benefit anyway.

If they both lived in an apartment and there was no equity to be had, does that change the 50/50 ask? If so, why? Sounds like the guy benefitting is the only sticking point
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
48642 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:42 pm to
I probably wouldn't ask her to pay half, but she should be paying something. I'd make it where it was a good bit less than her rent would otherwise be.

My mortgage is less, her housing costs are less. It's a win/win situation unless she's going to act stupid about it.
Posted by piratedude
baton rouge
Member since Oct 2009
2507 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:43 pm to
if they were married/community property, the house was his prior to marriage, and they divorce, she could recover 1/2 of the principal paid during the marriage. interest/tax/insurance are just living expenses that they share.

also, compare 1/2 total mortgage payment to her previous rent.
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97664 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:45 pm to
I’d just call it rent. She’s not living for free
Posted by Jcorye1
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
71456 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:45 pm to
quote:

If they both lived in an apartment and there was no equity to be had, does that change the 50/50 ask? If so, why? Sounds like the guy benefitting is the only sticking point



Depends on how much everyone is making, but apartment, assuming everyone is making the same amount or reasonably close, I'd be for 50/50.
Posted by HempHead
Big Sky Country
Member since Mar 2011
55498 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:46 pm to
No, I pay for pretty much everything except for whatever random shite she buys on the internet.
Posted by tiggerthetooth
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
61307 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:46 pm to
She could gain equity if she married him, but clearly she has no intentions of that.



She should pay like she would pay in rent. The whole point of her moving in is to "be together".

Posted by dcrews
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2011
30205 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:47 pm to
quote:

Depends on how much everyone is making, but apartment, assuming everyone is making the same amount or reasonably close, I'd be for 50/50.



They didn't mention in the video either of the individuals financial situations, so I'm assuming they make around the same for the sake of the conversation.

In any case, unless she lives in the slums, half the cost of living with her bf wouldn't be anywhere close to the same as her current monthly living expenses.
Posted by Quatrepot
Member since Jun 2023
4055 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:51 pm to
He should just charge her “rent” to cover it.
Posted by tylerlsu2008
Zurich
Member since Jul 2015
1116 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:52 pm to
quote:

I think the woman is mostly right, but she shouldn't be paid back 100% of her contributions if they break up, some of that is going towards interest payments and not equity, and if she got back all of it she would essentially be getting to live for free for however long they date. Not sure how I would want to calculate that though.


She shouldn't look at moving in as a free ride either though. Correct, she isn't gaining equity, but she wasn't either when she was renting.

I think they are probably going to be doomed if fighting about money this early. Him pushing for 50/50 out the box is ridiculous, but she also should be willing to pay for utilities, cable groceries, dinners out, contribute a bit more on vacations given no rent is being paid.
Posted by LSUandAU
Key West, FL & Malibu (L.A.), CA
Member since Apr 2009
4950 posts
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:53 pm to
Let her pay 50% of what she pays now. Living together in his house will thus help her financially. It will help him too, because he'll start getting these contributions from her. They both win.

She's taking the big risk here, moving into a house he owns and has control over. He could kick her out, etc. Ultimately, living together, being together every night, etc., will make or break this couple.
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