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re: Does your non-married significant other split living expenses 50/50 with you?
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:55 pm to Shiftyplus1
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:55 pm to Shiftyplus1
quote:
So she gets to live in a house, pay less than what her rent used to be per month to stay there, and people think that HE is trying to screw HER over?
As someone in a relationship I would not attempt to profit off of my SO. Maybe that means that I'm being taken advantage of, but at this point anything that she contributes is more than he's receiving now. She's offering to pay for some bills, and his house isn't becoming more expensive just because she moves in. He's coming out ahead in this scenario either way.
I also make considerably more than my SO, and paid her way through graduate school while she did not work. If you go into a relationship with the 50/50 mindset, then you are going into a business partnership and not a relationship.
ETA: I've also never been in a serious relationship where I was making similar money to me SO, if that was ever the case maybe I would look at it differently, but I don't have experience with that.
This post was edited on 12/4/23 at 2:02 pm
0
Posted on 12/4/23 at 1:57 pm to LSUandAU
My wife and I moved in together before we were married. We weren't homeowners yet, but she moved into my townhouse with me. She paid some of the rent and bills at the time. I don't see why him owning the home makes any difference.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 2:09 pm to dcrews
(no message)
This post was edited on 3/13/24 at 11:52 am
Posted on 12/4/23 at 2:11 pm to Odysseus32
Yeah I’m not combining anything unless I’m married. This couples isn’t
Posted on 12/4/23 at 2:15 pm to dcrews
When I was younger I lived with my non married significant other. We did split rent. I believe I paid most the bills but she paid for her own cell phone and car insurance. Most the time I just got dinner but it was not an issue if she went to the store she would buy stuff herself also.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 2:17 pm to dcrews
quote:
A lot of people said they would rather pay MORE to stay in their apartment than move in with their significant other and pay LESS if it meant they had to contribute to the SO's mortgage.
These people make other people very rich.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 2:24 pm to dcrews
quote:No. I'm older and vastly out earn her, so she pays a smaller portion. Further, she pays her portion into a separate "vacation" account that we then use for our travel/fun.
Does your non-married significant other split living expenses 50/50 with you?
Posted on 12/4/23 at 2:36 pm to dcrews
Yes. I had my own place, she had her own. We spent most of that time together. We got a place 50/50. We deposit funds into a joint account on the first and all living expenses are paid out of that. It works and eliminates money as a problem in the relationship.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 2:37 pm to Odysseus32
quote:
Odysseus32
You are getting downvoted but I agree here.
Most want to separate due to watching their parents fight about money or wanting to keep track.
If you are wanting to "keep track" you married the wrong woman. Your relationship is not based on love.
Just a heads up guys.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 2:39 pm to Odysseus32
quote:
I know plenty of couples that have separate finances and split bills and It’s always bizarre to me.
Just combine it all and talk to one another about what you’re spending. I’ve never once had something where I really wanted something that would make me happy that my wife has been against it and vice versa.
You need the other person to tell you it’s okay to spend on things you love as well as hold you accountable. If I spend on something I don’t actually want, I know that sets us back. Not very nice when it isnt just me in the relationship.
The issue is most people do it backwards. They feel like they are stopped from spending what they want because it’s not just their money and the other person is a foil in that regard.
It’s backwards. If you want solo money, be a solo person.
Both parties have to trust and respect one another.
I doubt this is the case with most relationships given the current divorce rate.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 3:05 pm to dcrews
I think the split should be based upon their income. If she makes 30% of their combined income, she pays 30% of total bills. If she makes 60%, she pays 60%.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 3:08 pm to Odysseus32
quote:
I know plenty of couples that have separate finances and split bills and It’s always bizarre to me.
Why?
My wife and I split the bills 50/50. We decided together how much we'd contribute to a joint savings account (used for house renovations, new appliances, emergencies, kids, etc) and what % of our income we'd contribute to our retirement. After that we don't worry about what the other is spending. We are both pretty good with money so it's never an issue.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 3:10 pm to LSUGrrrl
quote:
I think the split should be based upon their income. If she makes 30% of their combined income, she pays 30% of total bills. If she makes 60%, she pays 60%
I think most people think she should be paying something. Why does he have to pay 100% when she's living there too?
Now if his house was paid off that might be an interesting discussion
Posted on 12/4/23 at 3:12 pm to dcrews
Doesn't have to be 50/50 but should be equitable. If he makes 100k and she makes 50k then a 2/3 to 1/3 split is more than fair, you could do it for any incomes to make it work.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 3:12 pm to fallguy_1978
Yeah. She absolutely needs to pay something. I think the income percentage method is fair considering the fact that she didn’t get to choose the cost of place they will be living and he will benefit from the mortgage equity.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 3:13 pm to dcrews
He should pay the mortgage and charge her rent (with a written lease). Once she starts paying the mortgage with him, she is going to have some legal claim to the home equity when things go south (and they will).
Posted on 12/4/23 at 3:16 pm to Tantal
quote:
Once she starts paying the mortgage with him, she is going to have some legal claim to the home equity
Been there, done that. No she won’t.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 3:16 pm to dcrews
quote:
She even goes as far as to suggest they sign a contract where she is paid back the balance of the contributions she makes financially should they break up.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 3:26 pm to LSUGrrrl
quote:
Been there, done that. No she won’t.
Depends on the state.
Posted on 12/4/23 at 3:28 pm to dcrews
She's right, unless he wants to give her some equity.
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