re: Do you consider porn and sex chatting cheating?

In all honesty ladies.... you should be more worried if your husband is NOT looking at porn.

I cheat at least four times a day if porn is cheating.

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I can't eat, sleep, or do anything but cry.

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I’m recently divorced. I haven’t eaten in six months. Gimme a break.

If I thought this was real, I’d be a little more sensitive.

Porn? No.

Sex chatting? Assuming this is live one on one phone/video sex, yes.

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Porn has killed many marriages. It's poison.

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Agreed. I think if some man or woman watched it once a month and did their thing it probably wouldn't be a big issue but that's not generally what happens. I've had a friend that admitted to me that it ruined his first marriage.

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LadyJ

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You're not satisfying him

Find out why

I see porn as a symptom, not a cause. Men seek out porn when they’re not getting any. Women usually want sex when:
A. They feel exceptionally desirable
B. They can use sex as a bargaining chip

Once a couple has been married a long time, the bargaining chips have largely been cashed in. They become desensitized to each other by the routine of every day life and chores. Without constant romance and affirmation, women won’t feel sexy, and will start making excuses for not desiring sex “I’m tired”, “I have a headache”, “I have a long day tomorrow”, etc. They need their man to make them feel special so they can remember why they were attracted to their husbands in the first place.

However, when men have been rejected by their wives enough times, they tend to withdraw. Rather than doubling down on romance, they get discouraged and often stop trying, or get so distracted by life that they focus on the wrong things. They spend so much time on routine chores, work, childcare, etc that they withhold talking about their feelings because they view their wants and needs as burdens, and sharing those burdens as the same as inflicting them on others. So rather than be honest with one-another, couples start nagging each other and resenting each other. It’s hard to be attracted to someone you resent and/or don’t respect. Guys who have given up on getting sex in the foreseeable short term often turn to porn for a little relief, if only to sleep at night. They’re tired of fighting, they’re tired of rejection, they’re tired of not being appreciated, so they masterbate to porn to just try and take the edge off for a little while.

No man ever cheated with a full stomach and an empty ball sack. The porn usage is a symptom of a bigger issue of respect, communication, and insecurity that is likely the responsibility of BOTH spouses.

Some married couples have decent sex lives. I swear, TD makes me feel like my marriage is some one off minority situation sometimes. You have to work on it.

And no, it won't be 6 times per week like when you were dating after 20 years, but there's no reason that you can't still have a fairly active physical relationship either.

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kingbob

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Sage words