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re: Did you marry within a similar economic threshold?

Posted on 9/14/23 at 11:39 pm to
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
10079 posts
Posted on 9/14/23 at 11:39 pm to
quote:

painful for me to spend money sometimes even though we have money


My depression era grandparents gave me a jar of peanut butter, a sweater, and a plastic iced tea pitcher for Xmas my freshman year of college. Meanwhile my ex is getting my 9 YO daughter's nails done 2x a month at $60 "for dance."
Posted by fightin tigers
Downtown Prairieville
Member since Mar 2008
74450 posts
Posted on 9/14/23 at 11:42 pm to
Not married. But matched up.

She quickly outpaced me.

But I own 100% of the dick in this relationship so I still have the upper hand.
Posted by Zappas Stache
Utility Muffin Research Kitchen
Member since Apr 2009
40741 posts
Posted on 9/14/23 at 11:45 pm to
Quite, Toody's father knew my father from the club.
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
82176 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 1:23 am to
quote:

But I own 100% of the dick in this relationship so I still have the upper hand.



Posted by MSTiger33
Member since Oct 2007
20981 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 1:41 am to
My family is better off than my wife’s family but I still married up.
Posted by Eightballjacket
Member since Jan 2016
7744 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 1:57 am to
I definitely married up, but it’s never created an issue. My in-laws came from humble backgrounds, and they built significant wealth through my FIL’s very high-earning job.
Posted by Topisawtiger
Mississippi
Member since Oct 2012
3653 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 2:31 am to
I grew up poor then we "advanced" into lower middle class as I was leaving for the military. My wife came from middle class. Now I have us in upper middle class and my wife works in a low paying job because she loves it.
Posted by OceanMan
Member since Mar 2010
21435 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:29 am to
quote:

For those who married up or down, were there any issues?


While we come from similar upbringings, and I don’t think our parents made materially different incomes, my side of the family has some people with more money which has influenced us having different perspectives on accumulating wealth.

It actually has caused issues that I never would have been able to predict. I suppose the easiest way I can say it is I realized quite some time ago you are never going to have independence and real wealth without your own source of income, building something or working for yourself, while her side of the family is completely focused on income.

I guess I have had more experience watching money come and go, boom and busts. I just look at it as so much more of a long game than she does. Like right now I am working on something that doesn’t have an “income”, but it will be billed later for a larger amount, and it can scale.

It can’t help but make her nervous though.
Posted by kywildcatfanone
Wildcat Country!
Member since Oct 2012
130182 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:32 am to
My wife's family has more money than my family. My family was basically what most would consider poor. When my parents died and we sold their house, the house I grew up in, we sold it for $26K.
My wife had a lot of CC debt when we married, and we chipped away at that and paid it off pretty quickly. She had no idea the interest she was paying and what that was costing her. Like most folks in 2023.
Posted by The Torch
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
23512 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:43 am to
quote:

Did you marry within a similar economic threshold?


The one I was suppose to marry let her mother talk her out of it because they were so high and mighty, their family is "connected" to politics and education in Louisiana.

I wasn't good enough for their daughter

Fast forward about 10 years - The daughter goes to jail for heroine, mom and dad divorce and I'm working a professional job making more money than anyone in their family ever made.

Touche you C$%T

Posted by bad93ex
Walnut Cove
Member since Sep 2018
30751 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:46 am to
Both of our families are blue-collar and not wealthy in the least.
Posted by Tridentds
Sugar Land
Member since Aug 2011
22319 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:50 am to
quote:

For those who married up or down, were there any issues?


Not sure you know this but this is exactly why arranged marriages in India work very well. People advertise for suitable brides/grooms. They will be in same social level, same economic level, most often same types of professions. Families with doctors look for brides/grooms that have parents that are docters. lawyers do the same stuff. They all do.

It's really strange but once you really understand what they do and how then you can see it can start to make sense. They share a LOT of commonalities before they ever meet.

They run adverts looking for brides/grooms with full descriptions of what they are looking for. IF you are old enough to remember want ads in papers think 40 pages of want ads in marriage section. Its crazy but it works for them.
This post was edited on 9/15/23 at 5:51 am
Posted by Bayou_Tiger_225
Third Earth
Member since Mar 2016
11656 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:53 am to
I grew up in the upper class. My wife grew up square in the middle class. I make twice what my wife does.

Zero issues. If anything it’s a bit nice because my wife’s expectations are lower than mine for many things.

My wife also loves being able to join our fancy family vacations.
This post was edited on 9/15/23 at 5:56 am
Posted by LSURoss
Dragon Believer
Member since Dec 2007
16124 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 6:00 am to
quote:

I still have the upper hand

Posted by Potchafa
Avoyelles
Member since Jul 2016
3820 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 6:19 am to
Hell no. I grew up in a raging alcoholics abusive broken home with two older brothers. Single mom worked two jobs just to keep things going.
Wife was in a military family. They have money since her dad retired three times and her mom retired from the fed gubment. They were very smart as to leaving my wife and her sister set up.
Posted by Big4SALTbro
Member since Jun 2019
20839 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 6:30 am to
My family was middle class for la and grandparents had enough so no one ever went without. Sent us to private school all that

Wife’s parents probably more like lower middle class bordering on poor.

We now sit on the upper middle class level, and I make enough that she doesn’t have to work full time.

No issues really in our upbringing.
Posted by LSUfan4444
Member since Mar 2004
55648 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 6:33 am to
For the most part, yes. For a while in my youth, after my parents got divorced and my dad lost his job things got really really tough on us but at the time I didnt quite realize how rough.

Going from a two parent home, attending private school to a few years later my mom is in an apt and my dad is living in a trailer, I just thought dad wanted to be in the country for some reason.

The good news is, both of them turned it around by the time I got to college and those years were more of a slump than the norm.

My wife's parents are still married and have been hard working middle class her whole life. Definitely smart with their money but her dad did well working for Lapalco / Entergy until retirement.

Posted by cajunduby
C-Bus
Member since Nov 2012
2264 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 7:17 am to
quote:

Yes. Maybe not exact numbers, but certainly same class and general upbringing. I couldn't have married someone I couldn't share life experiences with.

Our incomes today are very far apart.. but being that we are married and that stuff is shared, it doesn't really affect anything.



Well put. Same scenario and thought process as my wife and I.
Posted by Oneforthemoney
New Iberia, La
Member since Dec 2013
2175 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 7:22 am to
Married overseas. Trading family with money for traditional conservative wife. I work and make the money, she homeschools our son and takes care of everything else. Together for 15 years, we've never yelled at each other, been vindictive / spiteful to each other or cursed at each other. Son has never seen us yell or fuss at each other. So I would say it's working out pretty good.
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
84096 posts
Posted on 9/15/23 at 7:28 am to
Women marry across or up. The only exceptions are if she lacks prospects/damaged goods or she sees potential in who the man will become and believes in his ability to move her up. Men will marry off the street corner if she touches his pee pee correctly. Women wait at the finish line and pick winners. Men bet on tits. Don’t hate me because I hurt your feelings by explaining this timeless and simple truth, hate evolutionary biology.
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