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re: Did you marry within a similar economic threshold?
Posted on 9/14/23 at 11:39 pm to pelicanpride
Posted on 9/14/23 at 11:39 pm to pelicanpride
quote:
painful for me to spend money sometimes even though we have money
My depression era grandparents gave me a jar of peanut butter, a sweater, and a plastic iced tea pitcher for Xmas my freshman year of college. Meanwhile my ex is getting my 9 YO daughter's nails done 2x a month at $60 "for dance."
0
Posted on 9/14/23 at 11:42 pm to Billy Blanks
Not married. But matched up.
She quickly outpaced me.
But I own 100% of the dick in this relationship so I still have the upper hand.
She quickly outpaced me.
But I own 100% of the dick in this relationship so I still have the upper hand.
Posted on 9/14/23 at 11:45 pm to Billy Blanks
Quite, Toody's father knew my father from the club.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 1:23 am to fightin tigers
quote:
But I own 100% of the dick in this relationship so I still have the upper hand.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 1:41 am to Billy Blanks
My family is better off than my wife’s family but I still married up.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 1:57 am to Billy Blanks
I definitely married up, but it’s never created an issue. My in-laws came from humble backgrounds, and they built significant wealth through my FIL’s very high-earning job.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 2:31 am to Billy Blanks
I grew up poor then we "advanced" into lower middle class as I was leaving for the military. My wife came from middle class. Now I have us in upper middle class and my wife works in a low paying job because she loves it.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:29 am to Billy Blanks
quote:
For those who married up or down, were there any issues?
While we come from similar upbringings, and I don’t think our parents made materially different incomes, my side of the family has some people with more money which has influenced us having different perspectives on accumulating wealth.
It actually has caused issues that I never would have been able to predict. I suppose the easiest way I can say it is I realized quite some time ago you are never going to have independence and real wealth without your own source of income, building something or working for yourself, while her side of the family is completely focused on income.
I guess I have had more experience watching money come and go, boom and busts. I just look at it as so much more of a long game than she does. Like right now I am working on something that doesn’t have an “income”, but it will be billed later for a larger amount, and it can scale.
It can’t help but make her nervous though.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:32 am to Billy Blanks
My wife's family has more money than my family. My family was basically what most would consider poor. When my parents died and we sold their house, the house I grew up in, we sold it for $26K.
My wife had a lot of CC debt when we married, and we chipped away at that and paid it off pretty quickly. She had no idea the interest she was paying and what that was costing her. Like most folks in 2023.
My wife had a lot of CC debt when we married, and we chipped away at that and paid it off pretty quickly. She had no idea the interest she was paying and what that was costing her. Like most folks in 2023.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:43 am to Billy Blanks
quote:
Did you marry within a similar economic threshold?
The one I was suppose to marry let her mother talk her out of it because they were so high and mighty, their family is "connected" to politics and education in Louisiana.
I wasn't good enough for their daughter
Fast forward about 10 years - The daughter goes to jail for heroine, mom and dad divorce and I'm working a professional job making more money than anyone in their family ever made.
Touche you C$%T
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:46 am to Billy Blanks
Both of our families are blue-collar and not wealthy in the least.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:50 am to Billy Blanks
quote:
For those who married up or down, were there any issues?
Not sure you know this but this is exactly why arranged marriages in India work very well. People advertise for suitable brides/grooms. They will be in same social level, same economic level, most often same types of professions. Families with doctors look for brides/grooms that have parents that are docters. lawyers do the same stuff. They all do.
It's really strange but once you really understand what they do and how then you can see it can start to make sense. They share a LOT of commonalities before they ever meet.
They run adverts looking for brides/grooms with full descriptions of what they are looking for. IF you are old enough to remember want ads in papers think 40 pages of want ads in marriage section. Its crazy but it works for them.
This post was edited on 9/15/23 at 5:51 am
Posted on 9/15/23 at 5:53 am to Billy Blanks
I grew up in the upper class. My wife grew up square in the middle class. I make twice what my wife does.
Zero issues. If anything it’s a bit nice because my wife’s expectations are lower than mine for many things.
My wife also loves being able to join our fancy family vacations.
Zero issues. If anything it’s a bit nice because my wife’s expectations are lower than mine for many things.
My wife also loves being able to join our fancy family vacations.
This post was edited on 9/15/23 at 5:56 am
Posted on 9/15/23 at 6:00 am to fightin tigers
quote:
I still have the upper hand
Posted on 9/15/23 at 6:19 am to Billy Blanks
Hell no. I grew up in a raging alcoholics abusive broken home with two older brothers. Single mom worked two jobs just to keep things going.
Wife was in a military family. They have money since her dad retired three times and her mom retired from the fed gubment. They were very smart as to leaving my wife and her sister set up.
Wife was in a military family. They have money since her dad retired three times and her mom retired from the fed gubment. They were very smart as to leaving my wife and her sister set up.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 6:30 am to LSURoss
My family was middle class for la and grandparents had enough so no one ever went without. Sent us to private school all that
Wife’s parents probably more like lower middle class bordering on poor.
We now sit on the upper middle class level, and I make enough that she doesn’t have to work full time.
No issues really in our upbringing.
Wife’s parents probably more like lower middle class bordering on poor.
We now sit on the upper middle class level, and I make enough that she doesn’t have to work full time.
No issues really in our upbringing.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 6:33 am to Billy Blanks
For the most part, yes. For a while in my youth, after my parents got divorced and my dad lost his job things got really really tough on us but at the time I didnt quite realize how rough.
Going from a two parent home, attending private school to a few years later my mom is in an apt and my dad is living in a trailer, I just thought dad wanted to be in the country for some reason.
The good news is, both of them turned it around by the time I got to college and those years were more of a slump than the norm.
My wife's parents are still married and have been hard working middle class her whole life. Definitely smart with their money but her dad did well working for Lapalco / Entergy until retirement.
Going from a two parent home, attending private school to a few years later my mom is in an apt and my dad is living in a trailer, I just thought dad wanted to be in the country for some reason.
The good news is, both of them turned it around by the time I got to college and those years were more of a slump than the norm.
My wife's parents are still married and have been hard working middle class her whole life. Definitely smart with their money but her dad did well working for Lapalco / Entergy until retirement.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 7:17 am to LouisianaLady
quote:
Yes. Maybe not exact numbers, but certainly same class and general upbringing. I couldn't have married someone I couldn't share life experiences with.
Our incomes today are very far apart.. but being that we are married and that stuff is shared, it doesn't really affect anything.
Well put. Same scenario and thought process as my wife and I.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 7:22 am to Billy Blanks
Married overseas. Trading family with money for traditional conservative wife. I work and make the money, she homeschools our son and takes care of everything else. Together for 15 years, we've never yelled at each other, been vindictive / spiteful to each other or cursed at each other. Son has never seen us yell or fuss at each other. So I would say it's working out pretty good.
Posted on 9/15/23 at 7:28 am to Billy Blanks
Women marry across or up. The only exceptions are if she lacks prospects/damaged goods or she sees potential in who the man will become and believes in his ability to move her up. Men will marry off the street corner if she touches his pee pee correctly. Women wait at the finish line and pick winners. Men bet on tits. Don’t hate me because I hurt your feelings by explaining this timeless and simple truth, hate evolutionary biology.
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