re: Dealing with a parent remarrying after one dies?

Your mother probably knew your father would be lonely and reassured him he had her blessing to find someone else.

We're not meant to be alone. Let your father be.

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I don’t want my mom’s smart financial planning to be for nothing.

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Is this really the crux of it? Can’t blame you if it is...seems like something you and dad should have a talk about. His new woman has zero right to come in and spend/inherit the nest egg your mom built for your true family.

My advice...from someone who experienced the same thing. Make sure he signs a pre-nuptial agreement. Love him and deal with the new wife. She stayed around long enough to take as much money as she could....when he realized she spent more money than they were making, he slowed down the bleeding and kept it in his account. When he was diagnosed with Dementia, she bailed as fast as she could and filed for divorce without his knowledge, He never understood why she left. We moved in with him and cared for him, loved him, and nursed him until his death. By they way....in his advanced stage of his illness, he never spoke her name....only our moms. He died with dignity and honor. Can’t say it was easy, but you can make it work. Just be there for him.

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How about man the frick up.

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frick you. You’re not a man, because a real one doesn’t tell anyone to “man up”.

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Most of all, I don’t want my mom’s memory to be lost.

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God bless you!

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If he dies, everything goes to her. You get nothing.

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That's not necessarily true.

My mother died 364 days ago. Dad had been dating ever since, specifically looking for a new wife. Internet makes it super easy. I want him to be happy but the money part does concern me. He's accumulated a lot over his career (retired corporate accountant).

I never realized how codependent he was until this. Like too many men his age, he's absolutely worthless in the kitchen and other household duties.


ETA- as another poster said , yes the old folks act like teenagers and talk on the phone constantly and can't go a day without talking like they are in 6th grade.

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I don’t want to lose the one parent I have left. I love my dad. I want him to be happy.

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Then let him alone and be happy for him. That way you can preserve your relationship with him. He obviously doesn't want to be alone. He was married for a lifetime with a companion he obviously loved.

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I don’t want him to be hurt or get screwed over. I don’t want my mom’s smart financial planning to be for nothing.

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Why do you think this might happen?

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Most of all, I don’t want my mom’s memory to be lost.

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That won't happen. Just because your father gets married doesn't mean your Mom's memory is going to be lost.

How well does he know the woman he wants to marry? Is she a widow as well?

I've seen a number of my parents' friends who lost their wives remarry pretty quickly. Much of the time, they marry a widow who was a good friend of the couple. They are happy with the years they have left and not having to spend them alone.

I hope you can come to terms with your father's desires and that everything works out well for you all.

My mom remarried 5 years after my dad died. It was weird but I got over it. I appreciate him being there now as she gets older.

We unexpectedly lost my mom two years ago, less than a month shy of their 46th anniversary. Even now, dating or finding someone else is the last thing on my dad’s mind. I find it strange that yours has found someone so quickly, and to marry too.