- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Close relative is in hospice...(update page 5)
Posted on 1/7/24 at 7:59 pm to Big Scrub TX
Posted on 1/7/24 at 7:59 pm to Big Scrub TX
From what I have read/heard, there is 1000% eternal life before and after this finite mortal existence we undertake.
As long as a lifetime feels, it must seem like the blink of an eye to our higher selves.
As long as a lifetime feels, it must seem like the blink of an eye to our higher selves.
0
Posted on 1/7/24 at 8:19 pm to Jim Rockford
quote:For sure.
Hang in there. Death is not always an adversary. Sometimes it's a friend.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 8:33 pm to Big Scrub TX
Praying for peace and comfort.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 8:37 pm to DerkaDerka
One of my best friends died from dementia in her early 60's this spring. From my last phone call to her husband and her I knew something was wrong.
This spring, I awakened to a flood of memories of things we had done together. (They had been living in Wales for over a decade). By the time I searched, I found she had died suddenly and that her burial was being streamed. I watched her burial.
I told a Jewish friend about it. She wasn't at all surprised. She said "She was just passing through, saying good bye."
This spring, I awakened to a flood of memories of things we had done together. (They had been living in Wales for over a decade). By the time I searched, I found she had died suddenly and that her burial was being streamed. I watched her burial.
I told a Jewish friend about it. She wasn't at all surprised. She said "She was just passing through, saying good bye."
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:50 pm to Big Scrub TX
quote:
Big Scrub TX
You are giving him a great gift by being there by him and with him. You are also giving a gift to yourself by being a shepherd. This knowledge and experience you are giving yourself will ease your mind and body. Godspeed.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:07 pm to Big Scrub TX
quote:
I'm spending my 5th night tonight at the home, waiting for the inevitable. The human body's ability to hang on is crazy. It's been nearly a week since food OR water.
My mom did the same thing. A full week of no water/food. it's a very unsettling thing for families to endure/sit through.
My thoughts are with y'all.
quote:
My basic function is to advocate for more morphine etc. every time the nurses come in.
I cannot like this enough. good for you. keep your relative comfortable. they have plenty of meds and can easily get more.
quote:
Wrote the obit today at his bedside.
It really is difficult to summarize an entire life into a brief essay. prayers to you, e-friend.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:14 pm to tigernurse
quote:Thank you, dear.
It really is difficult to summarize an entire life into a brief essay. prayers to you, e-friend.
It's crazy how random the path is. This AM, he had a fever of 102, but his feet were cold and turning blue (makes sense to me given oxygen saturation down in the 80s). However, as I type this, fever gone and feet back to warm and not blue.
I know no single data point means anything in the process, but it is astounding how seemingly random it is as the body shuts down.
The only thing I care about is he is comfortable and that he isn't by himself in this room when he passes.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:14 pm to Big Scrub TX
Dementia is horrible. I have a close loved one in the later stages of it.
I urge all of those who have family members with dementia in nursing homes/memory care to look over their meds and get second opinions when you see unusual changes. Some places are real quick to prescribe antipsychotics like Haldol for “agitation.” In reality they are understaffed and are using meds as chemical restraints.
I urge all of those who have family members with dementia in nursing homes/memory care to look over their meds and get second opinions when you see unusual changes. Some places are real quick to prescribe antipsychotics like Haldol for “agitation.” In reality they are understaffed and are using meds as chemical restraints.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:17 pm to Big Scrub TX
quote:
The only thing I care about is he is comfortable and that he isn't by himself in this room when he passes.
every bit of this. You are doing a wonderful job of making sure that is exactly what happens.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:37 pm to Big Scrub TX
quote:
The only thing I care about is he is comfortable and that he isn't by himself in this room when he passes.
Prayers to your loved one and to you and your incredible commitment. It's funny though, about the dying....you leave the room for a minute to use the bathroom or get some water, and when you come back to them, they've passed. I've heard a few people say that sometimes the dying know when they are alone and wait for that time to pass.
Just a thought.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:42 pm to G Vice
quote:
I've heard a few people say that sometimes the dying know when they are alone and wait for that time to pass.
my mom did this very thing. she held on for a little more than a week at the end of her illness - completely comatose, and once my oldest brother, who had been at her bedside with me the whole time, left to go back to memphis to see his wife and kids- our mom passed within abt an hour.
He told me later night when she died, that she'd mentioned before something to the effect that she couldn't die if he were there. crazy. it still haunts my brother to this day.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 10:53 pm to tigernurse
Exactly. I just wanted to bring to this board for Big Scrub (and others in similar situations) that the intentions for being there for support are as good as gold, but don't beat yourself up as a failure if they pass while you stepped away for a few minutes.
We don't fully understand this, but all we can do is trust God's plan.
We don't fully understand this, but all we can do is trust God's plan.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 11:39 pm to G Vice
quote:
Exactly. I just wanted to bring to this board for Big Scrub (and others in similar situations) that the intentions for being there for support are as good as gold, but don't beat yourself up as a failure if they pass while you stepped away for a few minutes.
We don't fully understand this, but all we can do is trust God's plan.
When my grandmother died, I had been there at the hospital pretty much constantly. I finally had to leave and take care of some things and she died while I was gone. I really believe she didn't want to go as long as I was there.
Posted on 1/8/24 at 3:34 am to ronk
quote:
anger and confusion
Have they tried Marijuana gummies? There has been good responses to it for dementia patients with regards to anger.
My mother passed from the effects of dementia, so I still keep up with the reports on treatments.
GL
Posted on 1/8/24 at 4:06 am to Big Scrub TX
My grandmother was completely lucid up until the end. She was in and out of hospice FIVE times. The old bat kept getting better. It was a family joke that the woman had been dying for 30 years.
Posted on 1/8/24 at 7:56 am to Big Scrub TX
I was a family caregiver for nigh on 20 years. Dad, Mom, then Uncle. Three time Hospice experience. As others have said, keep the pain med and the Ativan going. Let your loved one know its okay to let go. One of my Mom's biggest fears was leaving her only son by himself. Don't worry about it Mom, Big Sis is here too helping me and we will be fine.
Keep assuring him its okay to go if its mentioned at ALL.
Watching the process three times has hardened me. Death, while necessary, is a horrible thing for the living to endure, much less the dying. But its on all our schedules.
Be sure and look after yourself if you can. Our loved ones don't want US to suffer for them, of this I am convinced.
Hang in there.
OH, and if the hospice people offer grief counseling, TAKE THEM UP ON IT. I declined and suffered mentally for it. Don't be billy badass.
Keep assuring him its okay to go if its mentioned at ALL.
Watching the process three times has hardened me. Death, while necessary, is a horrible thing for the living to endure, much less the dying. But its on all our schedules.
Be sure and look after yourself if you can. Our loved ones don't want US to suffer for them, of this I am convinced.
Hang in there.
OH, and if the hospice people offer grief counseling, TAKE THEM UP ON IT. I declined and suffered mentally for it. Don't be billy badass.
Posted on 1/8/24 at 12:13 pm to G Vice
quote:
tigernurse
quote:
G Vice
It's funny you say that. He is still holding on. The chaplain stopped by this AM to offer a fresh perspective: perhaps he wants to be alone when he passes.
So, I've left to go shower/shave/etc. for several hours. What will happen will happen.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 11:10 am to Big Scrub TX
Thank you to all who provided support in this thread.
He passed. I fortunately was awake and able to have both hands on him as he moved on. Very grateful for that, but not sure where to go from here.
He passed. I fortunately was awake and able to have both hands on him as he moved on. Very grateful for that, but not sure where to go from here.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 11:21 am to G Vice
Hello, old friend. When my mother-in-law died, she being a Buddhist, the monks and nuns would not let us hover over her at the end. The idea being, that we all die alone. That conforms with my view, we live an entire life alone, are born alone and die alone, -just hopefully surrounded by those we love.
Anyhow, the monk told me the day before her death right as she had a great burst of energy and love and speaking that she would die the next day and she did. I told him that she had a lot more time but he assured me it was her last great expression of life and love. As is their tradition we were silent in those hours as she began her journey, not wanting to interfere with what essentially belongs to her (and all of us). A peaceful transition into the next.
A different perspective, and one that was beautiful in its way.
Anyhow, the monk told me the day before her death right as she had a great burst of energy and love and speaking that she would die the next day and she did. I told him that she had a lot more time but he assured me it was her last great expression of life and love. As is their tradition we were silent in those hours as she began her journey, not wanting to interfere with what essentially belongs to her (and all of us). A peaceful transition into the next.
A different perspective, and one that was beautiful in its way.
Posted on 1/10/24 at 11:23 am to Big Scrub TX
quote:
Big Scrub TX
Hey e-friend, I’m so glad you were awake to hold his hand. Praying for you and so sorry for your loss.
Page 5 of 7
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News