re: Close relative is in hospice...(update page 5)

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You'll find that you've done much of your grieving already. I've had close family pass. One was sudden and unexpected. Another went through hospice and had time to talk before he lost consciousness. The first one traumatized me for years and is still difficult to think about. The family that was in hospice though, while incredibly sad...I at least got some closure and was able to say all the things that I could think of that I wanted him to hear.

See a therapist if you are struggling. I'm praying for you and your family.

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This is so true. My husband died suddenly almost 10 years ago. All our grieving was afterwards. I was shook for over a year.

My mom and our family have already grieved so much loss of my step dad. I found that a lot of grief is the loss of what your life would have been with that person, the plans you had together and the things you thought you'd do. My mom has already grieved so much of that as my dad changed with his dementia. She went from thinking they could do some travel 4-5 years ago, to realizing a few years ago that she could barely leave him at all. Her life had already changed and she had accepted that he was slowly leaving her every single day. Even though she misses him, she's now pretty excited about moving from her Bossier City assisted living to a nice apartment near us in Houston where she can regularly see her 1 year old great grandson.

It's all sad. It's just different.

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but do we really know?

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No - that is why it’s called faith.

I believe that heaven awaits.

You and your family are in my prayers.

Peace be with you.

Where do you go from here?

Grieve for a while. However long it takes.

Eventually you’ll feel the gray cloud lifting. And then when you think back you’ll have pleasant memories. A smile and calmness will be there for you.

Glad you had that opportunity to say farewell.

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This is exactly how my father went. I can still picture myself in that room almost 10 1/2 months ago to the day.

Prayers to you.

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Thank you for sharing. It's almost surreal that I was there. I'm sure I will appreciate the fact that I did do it in the coming years, but it will need some unpacking. Too close right now to have perspective.