re: Cash bar at a wedding reception...

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Went to Vegas and got married instead

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That’s what we did too

On a software engineer salary, and my wife’s a nurse practitioner. The money we would’ve spent, we mutually agreed to invest the money instead of blowing it on a wedding.

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On a software engineer salary, and my wife’s a nurse practitioner. The money we would’ve spent, we mutually agreed to invest the money instead of blowing it on a wedding.

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We had a blast in Vegas. Bought a house with the money we didn't spend on a wedding.

I'm going to have an open weed bar at my weeding. You trashy drunks can pay for your own liquor drinks

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On a software engineer salary, and my wife’s a nurse practitioner. The money we would’ve spent, we mutually agreed to invest the money instead of blowing it on a wedding.

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Best post in this whole thread. Congratulations.

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Not saying you did this, but I'm willing to bet most of the people who think it's stupid to "pay for other people to get drunk" blow the money they could have used on an open bar to make their guests happy on something stupid like floral arrangement's or a photo booth

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Yea I get what you're saying. Maybe I'm just a cheapstake, but I hate the culture surrounding weddings. People spend so much money on stupid stuff, and I will never understand it. If I was just absolutely balling, I would have had no problem at all getting an open bar.

But hell, my wife and I footed the bill for our wedding. We had some support from family which came out to be about $500. Im not an OT baller. Im just a regular guy who works for a living trying to live a good life. I was never going to throw an excessive amount of money at a wedding.

Also, some folks mentalities just different. Personally, I have never seen alcohol as a necessity. Food is expected. Something to drink is expected. An alcoholic beverage is something that I never expect. Outside of weddings, I would buy someone a meal in a heartbeat. If someone was thirsty I would happily get them something to drink. I would even buy someone a beverage if we are out hanging out. But I would never buy multiple multiple beverages that could get someone drunk. That is not my duty.

I don't expect for people to provide me with free alcohol. Sure, it's a nice gesture. But I would never expext something like that. But maybe that is just me being an OT poor.

Yea...mentality and where you come from has a lot to do with it. I come from a huge Cuban family and for us weddings are giant loud family reunions. We like to say think my big fat Greek wedding but in spanish. That being said, whoever is getting married is hosting the family reunion that year. The food has to be at least decent, the music has to be awesome (and include Guantanamera at least once), and the drinks HAVE. TO. BE. FLOWING. So for me I didn't care so much about most of the details, but I knew I had to use the money I was putting in to host a good party...it's just what you do in my family when you get married. All the cousins and what not that flew in from Florida, Georgia, Cali and even Mexico expected it.

Being that I grew up in that, it's hard for me to imagine people saying...nah...my guests don't need drinks...we can cut cost there. But to each their own.... but I ain't stayin at dry weddings very long

As awful as a cash bar is it's better than the one baptist wedding I went to. No alcohol except for a warm ice chest of bud light which had to be drank outside of the reception hall, because God forbid the brides godly father see such an abomination.

I imagine most here are referring to a traditional larger wedding with a cash bar. Most people understand that a backyard BBQ wedding is often BYOB (especially if you want something specific), or a celebration for a couple that eloped being held in a restaurant or bar is going to be everyone paying their own tab, or whatever. Most people even totally understand no alcohol at all, for people who don't drink/are religious.

However, anytime I've seen a cash bar or heard of one, it was someone having a 150+ wedding in a traditional venue they really couldn't afford. It is drilled in so many people's heads that the "norm" is this stereotypical wedding, so people try to make it work on whatever budget they have... when you really should just have a wedding that fits within your means.

My personal view for my own future wedding is "do it right, or don't do it that way at all". If you can't afford to provide at least some alcohol to your guests (and you're a drinker too - I'm not talking about people who don't drink or religious people here), downsize/change the event so you can. I'd rather have the event somewhere else with a bunch of happy people than have it at XYZ venue and make my guests pull out their wallets. It just feed too much into the demanding "bride" stereotype when someone has the nice venue, the big expensive dress, etc... and then makes their guests spend money.

I also love the idea of beer/wine and 1-2 specialty drinks. It is a very classy way of keeping costs down while still making most people happy.

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However, anytime I've seen a cash bar or heard of one, it was someone having a 150+ wedding in a traditional venue they really couldn't afford. It is drilled in so many people's heads that the "norm" is this stereotypical wedding, so people try to make it work on whatever budget they have... when you really should just have a wedding that fits within your means. 

My personal view for my own future wedding is "do it right, or don't do it that way at all". If you can't afford to provide at least some alcohol to your guests (and you're a drinker too - I'm not talking about people who don't drink or religious people here), downsize/change the event so you can. I'd rather have the event somewhere else with a bunch of happy people than have it at XYZ venue and make my guests pull out their wallets. It just feed too much into the demanding "bride" stereotype when someone has the nice venue, the big expensive dress, etc... and then makes their guests spend money. 

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Yea I actually do agree with this. If you're having a huge arse extravagant extra wedding, then a cash bar is pretty tacky. If your wedding is supposed to be super formal with plated steak dinners, then it'd be pretty tacky to then have guests pay for alcohol.

I've only been to one really formal extravagant wedding. Most that I go to have been the outdoor bbq type, or buffet meal at a decorated event/banquet hall that then to be pretty informal.

We may have jusy been talking bout different things to begin with.

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On a software engineer salary, and my wife’s a nurse practitioner.

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Such a big shot