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Buddy found his biological father who raped his mother, what to do?
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:09 pm
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:09 pm
So a buddy of mine grew up without his biological father in his life, just a couple step dad's.
When he reached 18 he wanted to seek out his biological father and that's when his mother told him that he was a product of rape. Not the drag in the bushes with a knife rape, one of those passed out drunk/drugs "sexual assaults".
Anyway about 7 years ago he did one those DNA tests and got no next of kin results from his Dad's side. But last week he finally got a hit on a first cousin, he spoke through the DNA site to that first cousin who confirmed that he has one uncle that fits the description who would be his biological father.
Buddy reached out on Facebook to "his father" saying, "This may be a little surprising, but do you remember a girl named ______ _____ from _______ when you were around 18 years old? A DNA test says that you are my father." The guy becomes immediately aggressive saying "I remember her, but never slept with her, don't reach out to me again. I'm not your father."
My buddy's doing well, couple cars, married house on the lake, a few daughters, boat, season ticket holder, etc... So he responded to the guy, saying..."I'm not looking for anything from you, I don't need money or anything, I just want to find out the truth. I don't need to have a relationship."
So the guy responded "then why are you looking for your father if you're not looking for a relationship, again don't message me." Which he then blocked him on FB.
Buddy's wondering what his next step should be?
1. Write it off?
2. Reach out to his aunt to get more of the family involved?
3. File charges with the police and force the guy to address his past?
Anybody have an experience with this or what to do?
When he reached 18 he wanted to seek out his biological father and that's when his mother told him that he was a product of rape. Not the drag in the bushes with a knife rape, one of those passed out drunk/drugs "sexual assaults".
Anyway about 7 years ago he did one those DNA tests and got no next of kin results from his Dad's side. But last week he finally got a hit on a first cousin, he spoke through the DNA site to that first cousin who confirmed that he has one uncle that fits the description who would be his biological father.
Buddy reached out on Facebook to "his father" saying, "This may be a little surprising, but do you remember a girl named ______ _____ from _______ when you were around 18 years old? A DNA test says that you are my father." The guy becomes immediately aggressive saying "I remember her, but never slept with her, don't reach out to me again. I'm not your father."
My buddy's doing well, couple cars, married house on the lake, a few daughters, boat, season ticket holder, etc... So he responded to the guy, saying..."I'm not looking for anything from you, I don't need money or anything, I just want to find out the truth. I don't need to have a relationship."
So the guy responded "then why are you looking for your father if you're not looking for a relationship, again don't message me." Which he then blocked him on FB.
Buddy's wondering what his next step should be?
1. Write it off?
2. Reach out to his aunt to get more of the family involved?
3. File charges with the police and force the guy to address his past?
Anybody have an experience with this or what to do?
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:11 pm to Kujo
I think he should first release the name of his biological father and let the OT go to work
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:11 pm to Kujo
quote:
My buddy's doing well, couple cars, married house on the lake, a few daughters, boat, season ticket holder, etc..
Sex and money. The best life success measurement. Congrats to your buddy.
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:11 pm to Kujo
Walk away. Nothing good comes from this.
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:11 pm to Kujo
(no message)
This post was edited on 3/22/21 at 9:14 pm
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:11 pm to Kujo
You're one weird arse dude with some weird arse, trashy friends.
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:12 pm to Kujo
quote:
1. Write it off?
Sounds like he's doing well and the father seems like more trouble than he's worth.
Best to move on and count his blessings.
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:12 pm to Kujo
quote:
Anybody have an experience with this or what to do?
we have a “my father raped my mother” thread here once a week.
do a search for fricks sake
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:12 pm to saint tiger225
quote:
You're one weird arse dude with some weird arse, trashy friends.
Welcome to Louisiana?
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:12 pm to Kujo
Move on, guy clearly wants no part of him.
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:12 pm to Kujo
Punch to the face
Dad knows he has it coming.
Dad knows he has it coming.
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:12 pm to Kujo
Nothing he can really do if the guy is unresponsive as far finding the information your buddy wants.
Plenty you can do to frick with the guys life, though.
Plenty you can do to frick with the guys life, though.
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:13 pm to Kujo
quote:Couple cars and a married house sound interesting.
My buddy's doing well, couple cars, married house on the lake, a few daughters, boat, season ticket holder, etc...
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:13 pm to Kujo
No matter what your buddy says, this is impacting him on a psychological level. I would advise him that talking to a therapist can helpful even if just for a short term commitment to work this out.
Also, he should probably not contact the guy any further. Unless he wants to go bust his face in and then get arrested for assault.
Also, he should probably not contact the guy any further. Unless he wants to go bust his face in and then get arrested for assault.
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:13 pm to Kujo
quote:
1. Write it off?
2. Reach out to his aunt to get more of the family involved?
3. File charges with the police and force the guy to address his past?
I guess you have to ask what's the point? I grew up without my "biological father" in my life, my mother had pushed me to talk to him or get to meet him when were we in close locations. In my life to this point this person is no more than a stranger to me, and actually even less so due to how they had interacted with my mother.
Ultimately though this man didn't shape him, and doesn't seem to be any benefit to him going forward, so what is the draw or drive?
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:14 pm to Kujo
nm
This post was edited on 3/22/21 at 9:15 pm
Posted on 3/22/21 at 9:14 pm to Kujo
Well first, he should send pictures of his cars, season tickets, and bank account and flex on the guy, just to show him what he missed out on.
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