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Started By
Message
At what point is the marriage not worth it
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:16 am
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:16 am
I'd really like to know some opinions besides my own.
I think you stick it out and make it work.
Seems like a lot of my buddies have picked the "frick it" approach.
I think you stick it out and make it work.
Seems like a lot of my buddies have picked the "frick it" approach.
30
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:17 am to X123F45
Right around the time you find her getting long donged by the BBC
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:19 am to X123F45
The "frick it" approach is just lazy selfishness. Marriage is hard work. Mine has been on the rocks before, but I'm thankful for a wife who refuses to give up on me. It makes me sad to see people give up over stuff that is petty.
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:20 am to X123F45
I'd say cheating or trying to cause you physical harm.
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:23 am to X123F45
quote:
I think you stick it out and make it work.
Unless it involves infidelity, that is the right answer.
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:26 am to ByteMe
All involved have a right to be happy. So when this is not possible, it is time.
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:27 am to X123F45
did you get a prenup? I know a guy who needs one, maybe you two could split the cost for a lawyer
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:27 am to X123F45
As someone who doesn't have a good track record, I say sticking it out is the better alternative. Its not the money that bothered me, but hurting people like that scars them and really drags your conscience down.
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:32 am to duggieblue
quote:
All involved have a right to be happy. So when this is not possible, it is time.
I agree...make a life long commitment, until you're not happy. Divorce, rince, repeat.
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:35 am to X123F45
quote:when you don't want to be married anymore
At what point is the marriage not worth it by Rando
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:40 am to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
when you don't want to be married anymore
How convenient. With that thinking, why do people even bother getting married?
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:44 am to ByteMe
quote:social norms & "it is the next thing to do"
How convenient. With that thinking, why do people even bother getting married?
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:45 am to duggieblue
quote:
All involved have a right to be happy. So when this is not possible, it is time.
Happiness? So wether to stay married or not should hinge on something as fickle as feelings?
What if everything else in your life hinged on your happiness?
" I don't think I'll go to work anymore, it doesn't make me happy!"
"I don't think I'll finish college because well, I'm just not happy."
"I would go to my mom's funeral, but I won't make me happy."
"Listen son, I would give you one of my kidneys and save your life, but since it won't bring me an happiness, I won't."
This post was edited on 12/29/16 at 1:53 am
Posted on 12/29/16 at 1:48 am to X123F45
At the beginning.
Posted on 12/29/16 at 2:11 am to duggieblue
quote:
All involved have a right to be happy. So when this is not possible, it is time.
Happiness isn't a state of being and be prepared to waste your entire life running in circles if you try to make it one.
Happiness is incremental and comes in small doses that it behooves you to learn to recognize and appreciate.
Therefore "not being happy" is the biggest bullshite explanation for failed marriages that truly are the result of petty selfishness.
Posted on 12/29/16 at 4:59 am to Revelator
quote:
Happiness? So wether to stay married or not should hinge on something as fickle as feelings?
What if everything else in your life hinged on your happiness?
" I don't think I'll go to work anymore, it doesn't make me happy!"
"I don't think I'll finish college because well, I'm just not happy."
"I would go to my mom's funeral, but I won't make me happy."
"Listen son, I would give you one of my kidneys and save your life, but since it won't bring me an happiness, I won't."
Your point is good for the short term events like a funeral or college, where unhappiness is certain but temporary.
But marriage and job are long term commitments, and whether we acknowledge it or not, when we make those commitments, we are expecting a similar commitment in return to give us more happiness than unhappiness. Once this ratio of happiness to unhappiness falls below our threshold for an extended period of time, it is the same as if that implied commitment has been broken and a person should be able to choose to honor their side or not guilt free.
Posted on 12/29/16 at 5:50 am to X123F45
When you start asking questions like this on an internet forum
Posted on 12/29/16 at 6:05 am to Revelator
Jesus Christ, some of you people are miserable mother frickers, and content to be so.
I don't think anyone said you should be happy constantly. As a matter of fact, the words "when it's not possible" were used. So, that means when it's impossible to be happy in your marriage. Think about that word for a second; impossible. That doesn't mean you went thru a rough patch, it doesn't mean you caught her lying about what she spent on that pair of shoes, it doesn't mean she got mad at you because some stupid television show reminded her of the time you didn't get her a card to go with her birthday present. It means NOT possible. Everything else has been tried and it is absolutely not fricking possible to be happy with that person anymore.
I don't think there's anything wrong with deciding that's a good reason to get divorced.
I don't think anyone said you should be happy constantly. As a matter of fact, the words "when it's not possible" were used. So, that means when it's impossible to be happy in your marriage. Think about that word for a second; impossible. That doesn't mean you went thru a rough patch, it doesn't mean you caught her lying about what she spent on that pair of shoes, it doesn't mean she got mad at you because some stupid television show reminded her of the time you didn't get her a card to go with her birthday present. It means NOT possible. Everything else has been tried and it is absolutely not fricking possible to be happy with that person anymore.
I don't think there's anything wrong with deciding that's a good reason to get divorced.
Posted on 12/29/16 at 6:54 am to X123F45
quote:
I think you stick it out and make it work.
For how long? How about when she plainly doesn't care what your opinion is, and does what she wants regardless?
I'm not talking about small things, I'm talking about life decisions like how to raise the kids, where to send them to school, how to discipline them. Where you're going to live, whether she is going to work or be a stay at home mom.
These things are important, and if her attitude is "Well, my mom says......" or "My family says.....", what do you do then?
Posted on 12/29/16 at 6:58 am to X123F45
Go watch American Beauty. Kevin Spacey will change your mind.
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