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Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:27 am to Ssubba
quote:
At what point in a relationship do you ask her how much debt she has?
Before you stop pulling out.
quote:
She is close to graduation and is attending a expensive out of state school
It's all relative. Marrying someone with $200k in student loans is ok if she's going to be a doctor. Marrying something with $90k in student loans and a degree in art history might give me pause.
Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:28 am to Ssubba
Not two months in
Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:30 am to Ssubba
Do you realize how autistic you sound ?
Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:30 am to ashy larry
quote:
Marrying someone with $200k in student loans is ok if she's going to be a doctor
jeeezus! wtf? that's not a smart outlook, at all
Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:31 am to Ssubba
The same girl you ran a 5k for? This gets better and better.
Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:34 am to Ssubba
quote:2 months and you asked?
I've been dating a girl for roughly two months now
Rookie move there
Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:36 am to Ssubba
quote:
At what point in a relationship do you ask her how much debt she has?
You shouldn't ask her. Only 3 outcomes:
1) She'll think that you're some incel loser fast tracking her to the altar.
2) She'll be offended and find a real runner at the next 5k.
3) She'll just lie to you.
You need to try to get her social on the DL and run a credit check on her. That way you find out the truth without offending her.
You also need to run a criminal background check on her too. You never know.
I would wait until I was seriously thinking about proposing before doing the above. If you're just dating and having fun, who cares about her debt or character.
HR would check this stuff if she was applying for a job, so you damn sure better check this stuff if you are thinking of spending the rest of your life with this B cup honey.
This post was edited on 10/21/19 at 9:40 am
Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:42 am to MojoGuyPan
Sign a prenup stating that her debts are hers and yours your own.
Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:52 am to Ssubba
I asked earlier than that. For sure I wasn't wealthy back when I was dating, but I had a nice house, lots of toys in the garage, and only a mortgage as far as debt. When dating, inevitably the "payments" would get brought up. When I explained I had none, it was an easy segue into seeing where the woman was.
A little student debt was one thing, but credit cards and financial irresponsibility was a nonstarter.
A little student debt was one thing, but credit cards and financial irresponsibility was a nonstarter.
Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:53 am to dragginass
quote:
A little student debt was one thing, but credit cards and financial irresponsibility was a nonstarter.
ding ding ding
Posted on 10/21/19 at 9:58 am to Ssubba
quote:
small b
Thats enough info to make a decision.
Cut her loose immediately, if not sooner.
Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:04 am to 777Tiger
quote:
jeeezus! wtf? that's not a smart outlook, at all
$200k in student loan debt is about average for a new doctor. In other words, if you want to marry a doctor, there's a damn good chance you are dealing with a ton of student loan debt. The good news their average salary is about $235k. So what situation is better?
doc making $235k/ year and $200k in debt OR someone with a business degree making $45k/year and no debt. I'll take the doctor.
Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:08 am to Ssubba
Ehhh, it seems a little soon. I guess it depends on the speed you two are moving at. If she really wants a family and marriage, this convo will have to be had again eventually anyway.
Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:11 am to 337Tigah
My girlfriend and I probably had this discussion 4 or 5 months into the relationship. We openly talk about finances (mainly because I don’t find it taboo and it’s important to lay the cards on the table).
Two months is early but it sounds like she is dating with intention and that accelerated the play.
Two months is early but it sounds like she is dating with intention and that accelerated the play.
Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:12 am to ashy larry
quote:
$200k in student loan debt is about average for a new doctor. In other words, if you want to marry a doctor, there's a damn good chance you are dealing with a ton of student loan debt. The good news their average salary is about $235k. So what situation is better?
a new doc, without much of a specialty ain't getting near $235 right out of school, $200k in debt is a pretty significant hammy if you don't have the discipline to start servicing it immediately, and of course they have to keep up the appearance of "living the lifestyle" of being a doc, which is counterintuitive to doing that
Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:13 am to Ssubba
Let her ask you about your situation first
Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:13 am to lynxcat
quote:
lynxcat
quote:
My girlfriend and I
quote:
finances (mainly because I don’t find it taboo
Ok, so I'm picturing an autistic lesbian. How close is my guess?
Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:13 am to Ssubba
Think I was a year into it and getting ready to buy a ring.
Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:20 am to Space Cadet
quote:
None of my business, as long as there's cereal on the table for dinner then who cares?
Nice work!
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