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re: At what point in a relationship do you ask her how much debt she has?

Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:21 am to
Posted by The Spleen
Member since Dec 2010
38865 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:21 am to
I never asked my wife when we were dating, mostly because I was the one that brought a lot of debt into our relationship.
Posted by GeauxGutsy
Member since Jul 2017
5994 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 10:27 am to
Check her credit/credit score
Posted by Goldrush25
San Diego, CA
Member since Oct 2012
33964 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 11:09 am to
As long as she doesn't have spending issues, she'll pay it off.

I'd be making sure that's she's a decent person and not a whore at this point. That's much more important.

If you've taken care of business career-wise there will always be more money and debts will eventually be paid off in time.
This post was edited on 10/21/19 at 11:10 am
Posted by 2geaux
Georgia
Member since Feb 2008
2769 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 11:10 am to
First Date! No sense messing around. Ask for a financial statement and credit score at the door when you pick her up. If she is an OT10 maybe on the 4th or 5th. By then the crazy will start to show!
Posted by Hamma1122
Member since Sep 2016
22558 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 11:14 am to
2 months way to soon
Posted by Tiger Prawn
Member since Dec 2016
26325 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 11:22 am to
quote:

had $45K in CC debt
Posted by Tiger Prawn
Member since Dec 2016
26325 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 11:29 am to
As long as they have discipline to pay off the student loan debt before spending money on a luxury car, traveling the world and a fancy house...whats the problem? Doctor making $200-225K after they get out of residency should have no problem paying off student loan debt within 5-6 years if they live modestly until the debt is paid off. Doctor wife with $200k+ salary and debt free by mid-30's? Sign me up
Posted by Hangit
The Green Swamp
Member since Aug 2014
47709 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 12:00 pm to
quote:

It didn't go over very well and she questioned if it impacts our relationship.


It is a simple question. It should have been answered, but she deflected into all kind of other bullshite. Did you say "just answer the fricking question, Debbie" or did you buy into her intentionally side-tracking you?

In your profession, every question needs an answer and it is your job to figure out, and document those answers. I am going to assume that this will not allow you to go without an answer in your personal life, as well.

Also, I saw the pics of the two different girls that may have been her. I never did figure out if she was the blonde, or brunette. If it is the blonde, be careful. They are traditionally better in bed, and love anal, but they are sneaky.
Posted by Aubie Spr96
lolwut?
Member since Dec 2009
44828 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 12:09 pm to
quote:

Second date she brought up how she doesn't date to mess around and she wants to be married with a family.


Well, if this is where she is, then the financial question is in play early. It's part of the marriage criteria just like looks, compatibility, etc, etc are all part.
Posted by Bronson2017
Birmingham
Member since Feb 2019
2215 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 12:23 pm to
quote:

I've been married for over a decade and still no clue how much she owes Sallie Mae. None of my business, as long as there's cereal on the table for dinner then who cares?


This is the first comment I have laughed out loud at during work.
Posted by Bestbank Tiger
Premium Member
Member since Jan 2005
82375 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 12:40 pm to
I'm a billionaire like most OTers so it doesn't matter.
Posted by keakar
Member since Jan 2017
30152 posts
Posted on 10/21/19 at 12:46 pm to
quote:

I wouldn’t ask until you’re considering marriage or moving in together.


this ^^^^^^^

until that point its really none of your business and your money situation is equally none of her business
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