re: Anyone here ever get hit by sudden and seemingly random crippling depression?

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How so?

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I dont post much about IRL music or band stuff on TD. Mainly for the reason that TD is a fun escape from reality where you can find common ground from people where you grew up. Sometimes the nostalgic talks on here, with things and subjects that remind me of being a kid in louisiana is therapeutic and calming for me at times. Most people I meet and spend time with nowadays dont appreciate certain things the way I do. I started playing metal music in bands at 13 back in the roaring 1990s. Playing at and in venues that I could only be in to work at.

Over time..with major success..I've partied with names I wont drop. I've battled horrible addiction. The blatant cocaine, benzo and alcohol abuse was shameful. But if I didnt have the cocaine then I couldnt keep up 200 + bpm tempos from the downers of the xanax and whiskey.

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That used to be my release. Instead, I just feel this overwhelming dread up there. I just feel frustration with my instrument in my hands, like the connection between it and my creative side has been severed. It used to be an instrument through which I could channel my pain and emotion and turn it into art. Now, it just feels like a heavy hunk of wood around my neck

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Explore other instruments. I know how that is,..creative block, and sometimes through experimentation with other forms of music, it opens doors to help reach that desired destination. And also, at times inspires new ways of playing the instrument that is giving you initial frustrations.

Its worth adding some daily meditations and yoga to your routine.

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Anxiety is a silent destroyer of lives. A demolishing internal wrecking ball that can leave even the best of us incapacitated. But it doesn’t have to produce such obvious devastating effects to cripple our potential and produce unhappiness. It can just simmer under the surface continuing, unknowingly in many cases, to have an effect on our JUDGEMENTS, our ACTIONS and our WILL. These three things require an anxiety-free mind for us to reach our potential and flourish as human beings. Anxiety can be produced due to our thoughts about the past, what we are thinking about at present or thoughts about the future. Let’s look at each

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A Response to Anxiety Daily Stoic

Brother, come back to Christ. I will leave at that unless you wish to talk about it more. Let me know.

Sounds like you are a music educator. Could it be related to that?

You are having an existential crisis. Seriously.

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Church has been very painful for me since the divorce.

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I'm sorry to know this. So often churches take upon themselves the role of judge, jury, and executioner relative to divorce, sadly and shamefully making it seem like the unforgivable sin.

It is not.

A healthy church will not advocate divorce as an easy option for troubled marriages but rather than judge, condemn, or criticize will provide a sanctuary where people wounded by divorce can experience healing and forgiveness in worship, prayer, and the Sacraments.

With your permission Mrs M and I will pray for you in our daily prayers.

Hang on. Never quit.

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Then, there’s the whole having to hang back at communion time.

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You aren’t prohibited from receiving the Eucharist because of your divorce.

Even if you don’t feel like you’re in the state of Grace, you can still proceed up for a blessing.

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Anyways, thanks OT. I know I’ve come to the right place.

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No you haven't.

Go see your family doc. If he feels he needs to refer you, he will refer you to a shrink.

Also, he will be able to run some blood tests to rule out things like TSH or T4 issues (thyroid) which mimic depression.

Of course the Anglicans would take a soft stance on divorce

All Henry VIII jokes aside, divorce is a big no-no still in the Catholic Church, so no Communion without an annulment. I haven’t figured out the annulment process yet, so no communion for me. What really makes me feel so bad about it was the fact that I didn’t want a divorce. I didn’t do anything bad to deserve one like cheat or neglect or abuse. I didn’t have a say. I wanted to fight for my marriage, but she wanted to end it, so it’s over just like that.

Just this week, I found out she’s already engaged. We separated not even 2 years ago, and to me it still feels like yesterday. I’ve tried to move on (I really don’t want her back), but I’ve only had one relationship last more than a couple dates, and it was anything but a serious one (ended around New Years). I haven’t gotten a second date with anyone I’ve gone out with this year, and haven’t had any dates period since April. I’m just in a big funk in every phase of my life it feels like. I can see progress being made around me, but I just keep feeling worse and worse.